Love doesn't walk away, people do
by DarkDaughter1318
Summary: Rose leaves court after Dimitri completely breaks her with four little words. 'Love fades, mine has.' After two years, she's right back in the mess of it all. Will she be forgiven for her long absence? Or will the people she loved walk away.
1. The Return!

2 years.

24 months.

3,960 days.

88,560 hours.

5,313,600 minutes.

That's how long I'd been gone from Court. Yeah, I kept up with trivial stuff like that… don't ask why. I'd never been one to run from anything. I'd always been the one running into the action, hitting it head on. Take the bull by the horns and all that jazz, but not this time. I couldn't think of anything else. Now, two years later… I was back on Courts door step. I stood outside, staring at the building, not sure how to proceed. Oh, by the way… I'm Rose Hathaway and welcome to my completely and totally fucked up life. Yeah, I'm so glad I could share it with you. I stared through the glass door, hearing his words repeating over and over in my head. _Love fades, mine has. _It was like no matter how much distance I put between me and this place, I still heard him, still saw him in everything I did. I couldn't escape it.

"Are you going to go in, or are you going to stand outside like an idiot?" I heard a familiar voice say. I turned to meet the eyes of an old friend, Eddie Castille.

"Eddie!" I murmured. He smiled slightly.

"Hey there Hathaway." I took a few steps towards him.

"God, aren't you a sight for sore eyes."

"If your eyes were so sore, why have you been gone for two years?" He asked.

"Long story."

"Dimitri?" He asked. I flinched as his name left his lips.

"No." I said, way too quickly. He just nodded. "How did you know?"

"He told me what happened." He said, simply.

"He told you?"

"Everything." Eddie assured me. I raised an eyebrow, completely in shock that Dimitri had opened up to Eddie like that. I was the only one I'd known him to open up too ever before he was awakened. I looked down at my feet, and took a deep breath before looked up to meet his gaze.

"How… How is he?"

"He's been worried about you?" He told me.

"For two years?" I asked. He nodded.

"He still brings you up, asks if anyone has seen or heard from you. He went looking for you after you disappeared. Lissa was the one that told him to give up, that you were fine."

"She's kept tabs on me."

"Sort of. You know the bond is one way. She was just able to tell that you were still there, meaning you were alive." He explained. I just nodded, not sure what to say. The more he spoke, the worse I felt about my leaving.

"How has Lissa been?"

"She was upset when you first left. She eventually found out what really happened, and was okay with it. She understood how bad you were hurt." He explained.

"Wow, you do know everything… don't you?" He nodded. "And Adrian? How's he?"

"He's still Adrian. He wasn't sure what to do when you disappeared. He was beside himself for a while. He eventually moved on. He misses you a lot though. He took it harder than a lot of us. We all know Adrian feels things more strongly than most of us do." He told me. I just nodded, realizing that I'd up and left Adrian while we were 'together'. I then felt bad.

"I owe him an explanation."

"He got his explanation when he went to Dimitri." Eddie explained. I just nodded, knowing that was what any normal person would have done in Adrian's shoes.

"How have things been here?"

"Quiet lately." I just nodded. "You're scared to go in." He said, motioning to the door.

"I'm not scared."

"Then why haven't you gone in yet?" He asked me. I hesitated.

"I… I…" I gave up trying to form an excuse. "I'm terrified." I whispered.

"I know. You have every right to be."

"I'm scared to see him." I admitted.

"It's been two years."

"That doesn't make the pain go away. It doesn't make it hurt any less, Eddie." I snapped at him. I automatically felt bed.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"No, don't apologize. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"You haven't changed a bit, have you?" He asked me. I shook my head.

"Nope, not really. I've just grown up." He nodded.

"I can see that." He said, eyeing me. I smirked at him.

"Watch it Castille." This got a smile out of him. I took a deep breath.

"I should go in."

"Who are you going to first?" He asked me. I sighed. I knew who I'd go to, who I owed the most explanation and apology.

"Adrian." I answered. He nodded.

"Good luck Hathaway."

"Thanks." I said, before taking a deep breath and entering Courts doors. I started towards the Ivashkov wing, praying he was in his room and I wasn't going to have to go searching for him. If I ran into Dimitri before I could talk to Adrian, I was scared I might leave again, and all of this would be for nothing. When I reached his door, I knocked and waited. I heard him moving around, and then heard the door unlock. When the door opened, there he stood. I felt my heart give a gentle squeeze. Regardless of the things that had happened between Adrian and me, I still missed him. I watched as so many emotions flooded through his eyes.

"Little dhampir." He murmured. The words sent a shiver through my body. I missed that.

"Hey there." He reached forward and touched my face, obviously trying to figure out if I was real.

"You're… you're back." I just nodded. I wasn't going to add that I wasn't sure for how long. "God, Rose." He said, grabbing me and pulling me into his arms. I laughed and wrapped my arms around his waist, holding him close to me.

"I take it you've missed me."

"You have no idea. It's been two years… I didn't… I just… I'm so glad you're here." He said, squeezing me tighter. "Do the others know you're here?" He asked once he let me go.

"No, just you and Eddie right now."

"But Lissa and Di-." He cut himself off. "Oh."

"Yeah." I said, knowing this conversation had taken a turn for the worst. I stepped inside, and closed his door behind me.

"Where have you been?" He finally asked.

"A little bit of everywhere. I went back to Russia, to Italy, to a bunch of different places." I told him.

"I didn't understand why you just up and disappeared. I went to-." He stopped when I nodded.

"I know. I heard all about it from Eddie. He gave me the low down before I walked into the war zone." I told him. He nodded.

"Eddie's good for that." He said. I nodded in agreement. I could tell he wanted to bring it up, but was scared.

"Go ahead Adrian."

"What?"

"Say whatever it is your holding back. I can see it. Say it." I said. He looked at me for a second, before finally exploding.

"How could you just up and leave me like that? I don't understand. I thought everything was fine. I had no idea why you up and disappeared. All I knew was all your shit was gone out of your room, and you were nowhere to be found. I worried for nights on end until I finally realized who would really know. I went to him and he told me what happened, and I understood but… why didn't you say something? Anything to me? Just so I would be able to prepare. You don't know what it was like to lose you without knowing the reason why… from you." He said. He was out of breath by the time he finished. I tried to conger up a good response, but there were only two words that left my lips.

"I'm sorry."

"I've missed you." He said.

"I've missed you too. I've missed you all more than you'll ever realize."

"But it's been two years." He snapped.

"Adrian, you have no idea what I've went through. You've got to give me credit. You're lucky I came back this soon." I told him.

"This soon? You were planning on being gone longer?" He asked. I nodded.

"You have no idea the pain, the… the everything that I've felt. I had to leave. I had no choice. I was afraid I'd lose it, and end up hurting someone I loved or cared about. I had to get out of here. I had to put myself first for once in my life." I told him.

"But you were gone, and-." I cut him off, teetering on the edge of anger.

"Adrian, I'm sorry what I did hurt you, but they were my choices. I had to leave. I had to get out. I'm sorry that my decision hurt you, but there was nothing else I could do. It was this, or killing one of you. I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I have to say it. I'm sorry I left you… I'm sorry I disappeared, but I don't regret my decision. It was the best move I ever made." I assured him.

"Are you… better now?"

"Slightly. Wounds like that don't heal on their own. Not even time can erase what he did to me." I told him. I heard Dimitri's words softly echo in the back of my mind. _Love fades, mine has. _I shuddered.

"I know." He murmured, taking my hand in his.

"Look, I should go. I need to go find Lissa."

"Wait… don't leave yet… please." He begged. I smiled.

"I'm not leaving again, and if I decide to, you'll be the first to know, and I won't leave without saying good-bye. Sound good?" I asked.

"You promise?"

"I promise." I told him. He nodded.

"I went two years without your beautiful face; I guess I can be deprived a few more hours." He said. I chuckled before kissing his cheek.

"I'll see you later." I told him. He nodded as I walked out and back down into the main lobby. As I turned the corner, I ran smack into someone, stumbling back. They caught my elbow to keep me from falling. The moment their skin touched mine, I knew exactly who it was. The electric current that his touch sent through my body was enough more than enough.

"I'm sorr-." He started, but quickly stopped when he realized who I was. "Roza?" The word sent a shiver straight down my spine, rocking me to my core.

"Hello Dimitri." I said, the worlds feeling like turpentine on my tongue.

"What… what are you doing here?"

"Visiting." I answered, not sure what else to say.

"Its… it's so good to see you again." He told me.

"Is it?"

"Of course. It's been two years. I was worried… I've been worried since I found out you were gone." He told me. I shrugged.

"Thanks for the concern."

"Where have you been?" He asked.

"Russia, Italy, England, lots of places."

"You went back to Russia?" He asked me. I nodded once. "Why?"

"Nostalgia." I answered simply. He raised an eyebrow at me, but just nodded.

"How was it? Russia, I mean?"

"A very different experience than the last time I was there." I said, cutely. He smiled slightly.

"I'd wager so."

"What are we doing here?" I asked, my voice loud and hard.

"What are you talking about?"

"This small talk bullshit that's going on right now." I said, motioning between the two of us.

"We're having a civil conversation, Rose."

"When's the last time that happened between us, Dimitri?" I snapped at him.

"I don't know, it's been two years since I last seen you." He said, keeping his composure like he so often did. His guardian mask was on, hiding everything from me.

"If you want to blame someone for my disappearance, go ahead and look in the mirror and you'll know exactly who to blame." I growled.

"I didn't make you-." I cut him off.

"No… You didn't make me leave, but you fucking broke me, Dimitri. You know how hard that is. I'm a Hathaway. I don't get hurt. I break hearts, and take names… but no. You ripped out my pathetic little heart and threw it on the ground. _'Love fades, mine has.' _Ring any bells? Those were the last words I ever remember hearing you say… wanna know why? Because I hear them on repeat over and over in my head as I relive the moment you shattered my entire fucking world over and over again. I went through hell and back to get you to where you are now, and what do you do? Throw it back in my face like it meant nothing to you. I couldn't stand the thought of sitting here, seeing you live happily as a newly restored dhampir. I couldn't stand the thought of knowing you'd never be mine again because your 'love' faded. You, Dimitri Belikov, are the sole reason that I left. You want to blame someone… there it is." I said, running out of breath by the time I was finished with my rant.

"You don't understand-." I cut him off before he could finish.

"I have to go find Lissa."

"Rose, I'm not-." I did it again.

"Good-bye Dimitri." I said, walking away. He grabbed my wrist gently, preventing me from moving.

"This isn't over yet. We will finish this conversation." He told me. I just nodded, not knowing what else to say or do. All I could focus on was the skin on skin contact with his large calloused hand wrapped around my wrist. He slowly released me, letting his fingers slide off my skin as my arm dropped to my side. I nodded once more before walking away, going to find my best friend, my bond-mate, and my charge.


	2. Fresh Air!

When I reached her room, I knocked softly on the door. I was more nervous about her reaction to me than I was willing to admit. Regardless of everything we'd been through, I wasn't sure how forgiving she'd be for my disappearance this time. When the door opened, I was staring into a pair of jewel blue eyes, and not the green ones I'd been expecting. Regardless, I smiled slightly.

"Rose?"

"Hey there, Sparky." I said, trying to keep the mood light, and pretend I wasn't in pain.

"What… what are you doing here?" I avoiding the question, because to be honest… I'm still not quite sure why I came back.

"Is Lissa here?" He noticed my evasion of the question.

"She's out with some of the other Royal's for lunch. You can come in and wait for her. She should be home soon." He said. I nodded and walked inside. The room looked like it did before I left, just a little less girly now that Christian had apparently moved into it.

"Where have you been?"

"Across the world?" I tried. He smirked.

"I've missed you Rose." He said, finally hugging me. I hugged him back, before I walked over and sat down on the couch.

"Do the others know you're here?"  
>"Yeah, they do. Lissa's the last to know, only because I knew I owed Adrian an explanation and an apology."<p>

"And Dimitri?"

"I ran into him on the way here." I said. He nodded. "Unfortunately." I muttered. He caught it and shook his head at me.

"We were all worried when you just up and disappeared like you did."

"I'm sorry. I had to get out of here. I know you all must have been beside yourselves with me gone."

"I was, you have no idea. I cried myself to sleep every night knowing I wouldn't see your face the next day." He teased. I rolled my eyes.

"It's good to see you haven't changed, Christian."

"Same for you. You look like you've been doing good for yourself though." He said, smirking at me.

"Watch it fireboy." I teased.

"As much as I hated that, I've actually missed hearing it."

"Well, get used to hearing it again." I said. I automatically regretted my words. I had no idea whether or not I was staying yet. Telling him to get used to something was a bad move on my part. I heard the door open, and looked up to see my charge walk through the door. _Lissa. _God, I'd missed her so much. She looked at Christian, then to me, and did a double-take. I stood up, and took a few steps forward.

"Rose?"

"Hey Liss." I said, smiling. Next thing I knew, she was barreling towards me, tackling me into a hug.

"God, where have you been? I've missed you so much." She said.

"I've missed you too. You have no idea."

"Where the hell have you been?" She snapped after she released me, but with a smile still plastered to her face.

"I've been a little bit of everywhere to be honest." I told her. She hugged me again.

"You're not leaving again, are you?" She asked. I looked to Christian, and then at her. I had no idea how to answer, so I did the best I could.

"Not anytime soon, at least." I said. It was the most I could promise her right now. She didn't look like my answer was good enough, but she didn't comment on it. She just pulled me into another hug.

"God, I've missed you so much. Jesus Christ, you've got to stop leaving me."

"I owe you an apology." I finally said.

"You don't owe me anything, Rose. I know why you left. I understand why you left. I just need a bit of a heads up next time, ya know?"

"No, don't try to make me feel better. Lissa, I was your guardian. I was sworn to you, and I left, and for that I am truly sorry." I said. I wasn't used to apologizing to people, but I seriously felt in the wrong about my disappearance when so many people depended on me.

"I don't think I've ever heard you apologize for something before. You have changed." Christian said. I picked up a pillow and threw it at him.

"Shut it Fire crotch."

"That nickname I didn't miss at all." He said. I laughed.

"Good, that's going to be the one I use from now on." I told him. He groaned. I smirked at him, my mood lightening slightly.

"Rose, I understood why you left. You needed your time, and I understood that."

"Is that why you told Dimitri to stop looking for me?" I asked her. She nodded.

"I knew you were alive, and that was all I needed to know."

"He never would have found me." I murmured.

"Are you sure? He was a strigoi. I think he could have tracked you fairly easily." Christian said. I shook my head at him.

"He wouldn't have found me." I repeated. They just nodded in agreement.

"I'm glad your back." Lissa said.

"Me too." I murmured, hoping she didn't hear the hesitance in my voice.

"Does he know-." I cut her off with a nod.

"I ran into him on the way here… literally."

"How did that-." I cut her off again.

"I don't want to talk about it. Look, I'm going to go get my things, and get settled. Wanna get dinner around… say fiveish?" I asked. She nodded.

"That sounds great."

"Alright. I'll see you guys then." I said, walking out the door. I went back downstairs and to the front to grab my bags, and take up residency in my old room. It looked the exact same way it did when I left it. It was obvious no one had been in here. I dropped my suitcases at the door and sat down on the bed. I took a look around, and sighed. I wasn't sure if coming back was such a great idea, but I knew it was what was right. Regardless of my disappearance, I owed them an explanation, an apology for just running out on them the way I had. Like I said, I'd never been one to run from anything, but there was only so much even the strongest of people could take. I found that out the hard way. _'Love fades, mine has.' _I heard as I lay back on my bed. _'I've given up on you.'_ The realization of what I'd walked back into finally hit me. I felt tears well to my eyes, but I blinked them back. I hadn't cried in almost a year. I wasn't about to start doing it now. I was Rose Hathaway, and I was stronger than that. I got up, realizing that I really needed some fresh air. I walked out of my room, not bothering to lock up. I headed out the back door, and sat down on the bench that someone had been back here since what seemed like the beginning of time. I sat down, taking a deep breath of the cool night air. It felt good on my skin, which helped me considerably. As I sat there in the dark, alone… I heard something behind me. My acute hearing picked it up while it was still a pretty good distance away. I stood up, trying to let my eyes adjust. I pulled my stake, ready for anything, but when the person came into full focus, I sighed.

"I thought I saw you come out here." He said.

"Following me now, Belikov."

"I've had a habit to do that. That's how we met, you know?" He said, his expression soft.

"Yeah, don't remind me."

"How'd things go with Lissa?" He asked. This small talk was getting on my last nerve.

"Better than I'd hoped. I was… I was scared she'd be mad at me."

"You should have known better." He told me. I shook my head.

"I'd left her once before. I didn't think she'd be so forgiving this time. I didn't think Adrian would be as forgiving as he was either." I admitted.

"They all knew why you left. I told them what happened when they asked me."

"I know."

"I went looking for you." He said. I nodded.

"I know that too. They all told me. What made you give up?" I asked. His words ran through my mind. _'I've given up on you.' _I readied myself for his answer.

"I knew that nothing I could have said would make what happened between us any better. I knew nothing I could have said would have made you come home. I also knew that if you wanted to be found, it wouldn't have been as difficult as it was."

"I was out of the country before you guys ever realized I was gone." I told him, smirking at my ability to leave unnoticed.

"Did you visit my family while you were in Russia?"

"I did." I murmured.

"How are they?" He asked, compassion filling his face.

"They're good. I didn't stay long. They like to talk about you a lot when I'm around, like I'm your widow. I didn't want to hear it, so I only stayed for a while. I eventually took up residency in Novosibirsk for a while." I told him.

"That city is beautiful."

"Especially when you're dying from Strigoi attack." I said. I watched as some type of rage flashed through his eyes for a second. It quickly dwindled and the guardian mask was back.

"I don't want to hear about that time of my life." He stated simply.

"Why not? You had no idea dwelling on that part of your life when I brought you back."

"Lissa brought me back." He said. I exploded then.

"I've told you this once, and I'll tell you again," I screamed. "Lissa didn't bring you back. You have no idea the hell I went through. Who do you think found out there was a way to restore people who'd been turned? Who do you think broke into a jail, freed a guilty man to ask for his help? Who figured out that stakes could be charmed? Don't you dare think for a second that just because she drove the stake through your heart that she was the one that brought you back? Without me, you'd still be a strigoi right now… or you'd be dead at my hand." When I was finished, I took a deep breath.

"You wouldn't have killed me."

"I tried. I thought I did." I said. I met his gaze with a serious intensity then. "There are moments, that I wished I had killed you. My life wouldn't have fallen apart the way it did if I'd done what I'd set out to do."

"You hesitated."

"It wouldn't have happened again." I snapped at him. It was one of my biggest regrets. Hesitating when I met him in Russia. He didn't say anything for a moment. He met my gaze, and sighed.

"Roza, I'm sorry." I growled and shook my head.

"Don't call me that!" I snapped. "You lost all right to call me that a long time ago." He just nodded.

"Regardless, my apology stands."

"What are you apologizing for?" I asked, looking away.

"The things I said to you were uncalled for. I knew how much my words hurt you." He said.

"No… you have no idea what you did to me. Don't pretend to understand."

"Rose, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just…" I shook my head.

"Dimitri, don't."

"I said what I did, because I felt that I didn't deserve love, that I wasn't capable of it after all the things I'd done. I couldn't take the thought of not being able to love you like you deserved-." I cut him off.

"Oh stop with the bull shit, Dimitri."

"I'm serious, Rose." He snapped, obviously having a hard time.

"So am I. Love doesn't walk away, Dimitri. People do. You walked away from me, meaning… you never really loved me at all. I get it. I understand."

"Roza, that's not true. I loved you… I… I still love you." He said. I snorted. A very unattractive thing to do, yes… but nonetheless.

"Really?" I demanded, placing my hand on my hip.

"I know you're not going to want to believe me, but I-." I cut him off. I noticed I'd been doing that a lot.

"When you love someone, you don't give up on them. You've given up on me more times than I can count." I told him.

"I've never given up on you." He growled. I laughed.

"You've given up on me numerous times. You gave up on me back at the academy. You gave up on me in Russia. You gave up on me when I turned you back." I told him.

"I never gave up on you at the academy."

"You almost took Tasha's offer, Dimitri. You. Gave. Up."

"I… I-." He stopped, not really knowing what to say.

"I'm leaving."

"I love you, Roza." He said, as I started towards the doors.

"Well, I'm sorry… but I don't love you anymore."

"You're lying." He said, as I took a deep breath.

"I'm not. I gave up on you. That's why I was gone for two years." I told him. He smirked.

"I can see it in your eyes, Roza. You know I've always been able to tell. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize that I am capable of love, just please-." I spun around, connecting a punch with his nose. Blood spurted everywhere, and began pouring down his face. I'd broken it.

"Your love… it means nothing to me now. I'm not the same girl I was two years ago, Belikov. I refuse to let you break me again." I growled. I walked away, going inside and slamming the doors behind me. I stood on the other side of the door, feeling completely horrible for what I'd done. My hand was covered in his blood from where my hand connected with his face. I took a deep breath.

_"Be strong Rose, be strong."_ I whispered, before walking back to my room. Maybe fresh air, wasn't a good idea from now on.


	3. Drained!

After I'd composed myself, I headed down to the café to meet Lissa. When I walked in, she looked up at me and frowned. I felt disappointment, and sadness wash through her. I also felt her worry. She was naturally worried about my well-being. I walked over to the table and sat down across from her.

"Hey." I said, trying to hide everything I was feeling.

"What happened?" I groaned.

"Am I really that easy to read?" I asked, shaking my head. She smirked.

"No… I was just taking a guess, but now I know something's wrong. What's going on?"

"One word-." She cut me off, already understanding.

"Dimitri?" She asked.

"Yeah, it's a long story. I don't wanna talk about it." I said.

"Rose, I'd like to know what really happened before you left."

"You know. Dimitri told you-." She shook her head.

"Your right… Dimitri told me, but there are two sides to every story." She said. I sighed.

"I really don't want to-."

"I'm your best friend." She informed me. She said it, as if I wasn't aware.

"I know… That doesn't make it any easier."

"Please?" She asked. I sighed.

"I was so upset at you, upset at him. He worshiped at your feet for bringing him back, but he treated me as if I had no part in it, as if it was all you. I found him in church one day, and because I'm stubborn, and stupid… I approached him. I tried to talk to him, but he didn't want to hear it. He finally told me that love fades, and his had, and that he'd given up on me, so I should give up, and be with Adrian, and live my life happily, as if nothing had ever happened between us." I told her.

"You naturally couldn't do that." I pretended she hadn't spoken, as I continued.

"I went to Russia for him. I almost died, I was almost turned Strigoi for him. I went to the end of the Earth and back for him, and what do I have to show for it? Absolutely nothing. I busted my ass to bring him back, just so I wouldn't have to suffer losing him… but no. It wouldn't ever be that simple. I could have killed him in Russia, in-fact there are a lot of times that I wish I had. My biggest regret was my hesitation the night he found me." I finished.

"You wouldn't have been able to live with yourself if you'd killed him."

"That's where you were wrong. I was perfectly fine for awhile, until I started getting the letter's, realizing he wasn't actually dead. That everything I'd done, had been for nothing because I hadn't even been able to finish one small task, _kill the man that I love. _I regret turning my back before making sure he was dead." I finally finished.

"Rose, you couldn't have known." She said, looking at me sincerely.

"I blame myself." I murmured. I shook my head, trying to compose all the emotions that were running through me. I took a deep breath, and sighed. I finally slipped my guardian mask over my face. I'd perfected it pretty well while I'd been gone. "New subject, please." I said, wanting to talk about something a little less depressing.

"Alright, I'm sorry. What do you want to talk about?"

"Anything but this." I answered simply. She chuckled.

"That narrow's it down. So have you seen Adrian since you came back?" I nodded.

"He was the first one I went too. I knew I owed him an apology." I said, looking down.

"Rose, you didn't owe any of us anything." She said.

"I did. You don't understand what it took for me to leave. You have no idea how long it took me to come to that decision. It wasn't something rash and not thought out. I sat in my room thinking about it forever, before I realized that if I didn't go, I'd never get out. I'd never be me again. I needed me time." I told her. She nodded.

"And we all understood that. None of us blamed you for what you did, Rose." I just looked out the window, not sure what to say. She looked down at her phone, and sighed.

"Crap, I have to go. Queen Tatiana wants to talk to me." She said. I smiled.

"Okay. I'll talk to you later." I told her. She nodded and walked away. I could tell I'd disappointed her. She'd been holding on to the young, naive girl that I was when I left, but I wasn't the same girl. I left that girl half-way across the world. I stood up and ran smack into someone. I stumbled back into the booth.

"Oh my God, I'm so-."When he met my gaze, he cut himself off.

"I'm sorry, that was my fault… I wasn't looking where I was going." I said.

"No, that was entirely my fault." He said. "I don't think I've ever seen you before. I'm Corey Zeklos."

"Zeklos? I didn't know Jesse had a brother."

"He doesn't. I'm his cousin." He told me. I nodded.

"I'm Rose Hathaway." I said.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." He said, extending his hand. Instead of shaking it, like I thought he was going to do, he kissed it. Was it bad that I wanted to giggle like a little girl? I found myself getting lost in his deep blue eyes. There weren't as bright as Christian's, but they were definitely beautiful and very distracting.

"I could say the same." I said.

"Why haven't I ever seen you around here before?" He asked me.

"I left about two years ago. I just got back this morning, actually."

"Hathaway? I knew I recognized that name. You were the Dragomir guardian." I nodded. "It's an honor."

"Oh, knock it off." I murmured, smiling. He chuckled. I looked down at my watch, and sighed. "Well, I have to be going now. It's getting late and I still have to unpack. I'll see you around." I said.

"I hope so. It was a pleasure, Rose." He said, before smiling and walking away. I stood there for a second, sort of mesmerized before I continued out of the café. I walked past Dimitri, as he was entering and from the look on his face, he'd seen the whole thing. I walked right past him, not even sparing him a second glance. When I made it back to my room, I walked in and began unpacking my things, knowing it was going to take my forever. I got almost everything unpacked before I finally gave up, and grabbed a change of clothes, getting a shower. When I got out, I realized just how drained I felt. I curled up in my bed, and slowly fell asleep. Naturally, Adrian was in my dreams. I should have known.

"Hey there, little dhampir."

"Hey, Adrian." I said.

"You look… worn out."

"Today has just been super draining." I told him. He nodded.

"I would imagine so. It's good to see you haven't ran off again, though." He said.

"How do you know I'm at court?"

"I can sense how close your dream is too me."

"Ass hole." I muttered, smirking. He walked over to me, and took my hand.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm fine."

"How are you really doing?" He asked again. I smirked.

"I'm just tired, and I've got so much going on in my head, and I'm starting to wonder if I came back to early." I told him. He shook his head, as he intertwined his fingers with mine. Any other time, I would have jerked away, but it felt nice. I'd missed Adrian.

"I'm glad your back."

"And I'm glad to be back, because I missed all of you, but I don't know if I was ready to be back yet." I told him.

"You're the strongest person I know, Rose. You're ready. I'll help you through it." He said.

"Thanks." I said. I hugged him.

"I've missed you."

"I know." I teased, poking him. He chuckled, and pushed me playfully.

"Don't lie to yourself. You don't know how you survived away from me." He said. I nodded.

"You're completely right. I was dying inside while I was away. I knew I'd eventually come running back." I told him, pretending to swoon. He laughed.

"God, how I've missed you sense of humor Hathaway."

"I know, I know. I don't know how you survived." I said.

"Me either." He murmured, but I could hear how sincere his words were, even in his joking manor.

"Alright, send me back. I'd like to sleep."

"You are-." I cut him off with a look. "Yes ma'am." He said. He kissed my forehead, and the dream world disappeared around me. I snuggled further under the blankets, and closed my eyes. I slowly slipped into my own torturous dreams that no one could save me from. The dreams I'd been experiencing since the day that I left.


	4. Beautiful Mess!

When I woke up the next morning, I sort of thought I was dreaming. That I was still in that fancy hotel in Italy, being serenaded by every hott Italian guy in the place, but when I became fully conscious and looked around, I realized I was wrong. Everything had really happened, and being back at court, being in the same building with the man who hurt me most… that was my reality. I sat up, and rubbed my eyes. The sun was just starting to set outside my window, meaning that the moroi world, the world of night was finally waking. I changed into some comfortable, but presentable clothes, and headed out to the back deck. If there was something I missed about court, it was watching the sun set. It was beautiful, and no matter what part of the world I traveled to, it wouldn't ever be the same. I walked to the banister, and leaned against it, staring out over the mountains as the scarlet sun slowly sank behind them. I didn't hear the door open behind me, so when I heard his voice, I jumped.

"Damn it… Dimitri." I said, clutching my chest.

"I figured you would have heard me come out."

"Well, I didn't."

"Some of the strigoi stealth might have come back with me when I was restored. I find myself sneaking up on people a lot, even when I'm not trying." He said. I just nodded, staring back out over the horizon.

"What are you doing out here so early?" He asked.

"I missed the sunset here." I informed him, not like it was any of his business. "I've been all around the world, but I've never seen a sunset like the one I can see right here at home."

"It is beautiful here…" He said. I could hear the hesitance in his voice as if he were going to say something and thought better of it. "Have you missed being here?"

"Have I missed being here? Yes. I've missed Court. This was my home… have I missed the memories this place brings back? No." I answered honestly. He nodded.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure…" I said, hesitantly.

"When you left… did you ever plan on actually coming back?" He asked me. I hesitated, staring out at the mountains. To be honest, I wasn't sure. I had a feeling that I'd always find myself circling my way back around to Lissa and Adrian, but when I left… I had no intentions of coming back.

"No… When I left, I vowed that I'd never come back."

"Then why did you?" He asked. It wasn't in a way that made it seem like he didn't want me to come back… it was in a way that made it seem like he knew returning hurt me, so he didn't understand why I did. I turned, and met his gaze and the moment I did… I knew that's exactly how he meant it.

"I… I don't know. I haven't really figured that one out myself." I admitted.

"I don't blame you for not wanting to come back."

"Good, because you of all people should understand why I wouldn't want to come back." I said. He nodded. "So, how's your nose?"

"Lissa healed it for me last night." He told me, touching his face. "It was broken."

"Good." I said, nonchalantly. I didn't plan on apologizing. He knew it too.

"I meant what I said, Roza." I shivered slightly, but I covered it up nicely by crossing my arms, and switching my weight to my right foot.

"And I meant what I said… Don't call me that." I snapped.

"Rose…"

"Don't Dimitri… I've already told you that I don't love you." I said.

"You may have yourself convinced of that, but I know better. You, yourself said Love doesn't walk away, people do. Don't walk away now… Not when I just got you back."

"I didn't come back for you, Dimitri." I snapped at him. He was a little full of himself at this moment.

"Are you sure?" He asked, raising a perfect eyebrow at me. I clenched my fist and stepped towards him.

"Don't tempt me Belikov." I snapped.

"Rose… We can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?" I almost growled.

"This round and round game we're playing. We're not at the academy anymore… Your twenty years old now… Think about it. You're acting like a child."

"I am not a child. If anyone's acting like a child, it's you."

"Me? How am I acting like a child? I'm trying to be-." He started, but I shook my head at him.

"I can't do this. You keep following me around, pressing on me… Hoping I'll break. Well, guess what… I'm not the same girl anymore. You're not going to break me. I'm not going to come crawling back like I did before. You wanted to be left alone two years ago, so I left… Now that I return you can't just up, and change your mind. It doesn't work like that, and if you think it does… You're sadly mistaken." When I finished, I was out of breathe. I started to leave, walking around him, but he grabbed me, pulling me to him. I didn't have enough time to react, because I'd been caught off guard. He grabbed my face in his hands, pressing his lips to mine. I tried to pull away, but I soon felt myself falling into old habits, letting my body melt into his the way I always had when we'd sneak kisses back at the academy. I then remembered that that was a lifetime ago, and things were different now, and he'd hurt me. I quickly shoved myself away from him, and stepped back.

"What are you doing?" I demanded, having a mini-panic attack.

"I'm trying to make you see that you still love me. You kissed me back." He said.

"NO!" I screamed.

"Rose, you don't understand… I just-." I cut him off, unable to contain the next words that left my lips.

"Dimitri Belikov, I wish you'd have died in that cave that night. I wish I'd have killed you in Russia. I wish I'd never have met you. You've done nothing but fuck my life up since the moment I met you." I screamed. I watched as the guardian mask I'd come to know so well slowly slipped, and pain and anguish took its place. I felt no remorse for my words. I quickly turned, leaving him standing there alone and in pain. When I got half-way across Court, the realization of what had just happened finally hit me. I hadn't cried in almost a year, but I felt a tear slowly leak down my face, followed by another, and another until they were flowing like a waterfall. I was walking with my head down, trying not to be noticed when I ran into someone. When I looked up, I realized it was that boy from the café, the Zeklos boy.

"Woah… Easy there." He said, as I stumbled. When he realized I was crying, he frowned. "Hey, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I whispered, trying to walk around him. He laid his hand on my arm gently.

"Are you sure? You don't look fine." He said.

"Thanks." I muttered.

"I didn't mean it like that. You should know you Hathaway women are dead sexy." He said. I smirked slightly, but it didn't stop the tears.

"I've got to go." I said.

"Do you want to talk about it? You can come back to my room, have a drink?" He tried. I thought about it for a second, and realized that being alone probably wasn't the best thing for me right now.

"Sure… I'd like that." I murmured, wiping my face for them to be replaced by fresh tears. He nodded, and laced his arm through mine, escorting me down the hallway. When he reached his door, he opened it and allowed me to step inside. His room was the generic room, the same as all the other rooms here at court.

"Please, make yourself at home." He said, motioning to the couch. I nodded and walked over, sitting down. He disappeared for a second and came back with a damp wash rag. He walked over and knelt down in front of me, wiping my face. "You were crying black tears. That's not exactly presentable with a lady of your beauty." He chuckled when he showed me the rag that was now stained black.

"Thank you." I said. He nodded as he laid it on the table. The tears had stopped, but the pain resided in my heart.

"You look like you could use a drink." He said. I hesitated, but then nodded. He grabbed two glasses and poured something from a tall, crystal bottle and handed it to me.

"Thanks." I murmured, taking a sip of it. It was strong and hot down my throat, but I didn't make a face. After my departure from court, I was used to hard liquor.

"So, do you want to tell me what so obviously upset you?" He asked. I looked down at the glass in my hand and back up to him.

"I don't know if I can without crying again, so it might be a good idea to just wait." I said. About six shots of liquor later, I was a waterfall, telling Corey how much I hated Dimitri, and I couldn't stand what he'd done to me, and how much I hated that I loved him. I'd told him a lot more than I should have for someone I'd just met, but I couldn't help myself.

"He's obviously an idiot. He has no idea what he gave up."

"You don't know me… how can you even say that?" I asked, my words slurring together a little.

"I've heard about you. Mostly good… some bad. Regardless, it made me curious about you. I heard your impulsive, and you do what you think is right no matter what everyone else thinks. I… I wish I was brave enough to be like you." He admitted. His words sort of brought me out of my drunken stupor for a moment.

"That's probably the sweetest thing someone's said to me in a really long time." I admitted. He smiled slightly.

"It's true. I have to live up to the Zeklos name, and you don't know how hard that is. You have probably never heard this from a moroi before, but… I'd give anything to be human, to be dhampir, hell to be anything other than a moroi. I hate being moroi… I hate being a royal."

"Wow…" I murmured. I'd never heard a moroi say anything like that. To be honest, most of the royals were so snobby and stuck up that they'd never survive as a dhampir, or even as a human.

"I told you." He said.

"That was… different, but I actually understand where you're coming from. Living under a guardian's legend isn't exactly easy either. When I lashed out or rebelled against something, all I heard were things like 'your mother never would have done that' or, 'think about what people are going to say to your mother' and to be honest, I could really care less. She's been half-way across the world since I was like six. She doesn't run me like everyone thought she did." I told him. He just smiled slightly.

"You're something else, Hathaway. You know that?"

"I know." I admitted. He chuckled.

"Good. I'm glad you know it. It's not a bad thing though. I love it."

"You're one of the few." I said.

"Dimitri likes it." He teased. I laughed.

"No he doesn't, because normally… it gets him punched in the face." I told him. He shrugged.

"I wouldn't mind a broken bone if you were the one delivering it." He said. I laughed.

"You know, you're not so bad yourself, Corey."

"I'm glad you think so." He said, as I took another sip of the cup of liquor that remained in my hand. I met his eyes for a second, and found myself sort of lost in them. They were like oceans, and I wanted to dive right in.

"You have really pretty eyes." I told him. He chuckled.

"You're really drunk." He stated. I shook my head.

"No… I noticed it yesterday… when I met you… sober. I just voiced in now, because I honestly don't give a fuck anymore." I said. He laughed.

"You crack me up Hathaway."

"At least I'm good for something." I muttered. He shook his head.

"I should probably get you home."

"I can make it on my own. It's just-."

"Across court. Yes, I know. Meaning… you'll probably stumble your way there, and hurt yourself or someone. I'll accompany you back to your room." He told me. I sighed and nodded, allowing him to help me up, and back across Court. As we walked, Dimitri entered the lobby.

"Rose… I've been-." He cut himself off when he saw Corey. "Corey?"

"You two know each other? That's awesome."

"I mentioned that earlier, Rose. You must not have been listening… It's okay." Corey told me. I smiled at him.

"What have you two been doing?"

"None ya." I snapped, stumbling a little.

"You've been drinking." Dimitri stated.

"And you're Russian. Now that we're done stating the obvious here, what can I help you with?" I smarted.

"Let me take you home." He offered.

"I'll be fine. Corey was escorting me back to my room." I snapped at him, leaning against the wall for support. He shook his head.

"This isn't like you." Dimitri said, looking at me.

"I've been gone for two years. I'm a different person. You don't know me anymore… remember that." I said.

"Please, let me take you home."

"I'll take care of her fine, Belikov… Calm down." Corey snapped at him. Dimitri growled a little, the sound rumbling from his chest.

"Hey now… Let's simmer down here." I said, stepping between them, and staggering a little. Corey caught my arm, keeping me from falling. Dimitri glared at his hand on my skin. "Corey is escorting me back to my room. I'd like to go to sleep, and you're preventing me from doing so… Thanks." I said, turning to Corey.

"Goodnight Dimitri." Corey said, snarkily as we walked away. When we reached my room, I unlocked the door.

"You know Dimitri?" I asked. He nodded.

"He guarded my Uncle for awhile, before he was killed."

"I remember him telling me about that." I said. He nodded.

"I don't want to talk about it. Look, I'll see you around… okay?" He asked. I smiled.

"Of course." I said. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight Rose." He breathed.

"Night." I murmured, before walking into the door. Boy, what a beautiful mess I'd just walked into. I could already feel it.


	5. Keeps Getting Better!

When I woke up the next morning, my head was pounding. I groaned as I rolled out of bed and stumbled my way to the bathroom. I took a few Tylenol and started back towards my bed when there was a knock on the door. I groaned as I stumbled over to it.

"What do you want?" I groaned, as I opened it. Corey was standing there, all smiles.

"Good morning sleeping beauty."

"Can I help you? I'm sleeping." I yawned. He chuckled.

"I was just coming by to check on you. You were pretty out of it last night." He said.

"I was not." I snapped, teasing hint to my voice. He put his hands up in surrender.

"Whatever you say, boss." I smiled.

"Shut up." I muttered, rubbing my eyes.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You can go back to sleep now." He told me. I chuckled.

"Thanks for the concern, but I can handle my alcohol." I said. He nodded.

"I believe it." He said. He bowed slightly and walked away. I watched as he disappeared down my hallway. I sighed and closed my door, starting my day. It was strange that I'd opened myself up to a complete stranger like I had last night, but for some reason… I felt I could trust him, and even if I couldn't. I felt like I wanted too. It was strange, and something I don't think I'd ever really felt before. I went with it though. I finally showered and dressed, heading out to get something to eat. As I made my way to the café, I found Adrian waiting in the lobby.

"Waiting on someone?"

"Waiting on you." He stated.

"How'd you know I'd-." He cut me off.

"I know it's been two years and all, but I knew your craving for donuts in the morning wasn't going to fade." He told me. I laughed as he wrapped his arm around my waist.

"God, how I've missed you Ivashkov." I told him. He smiled at me.

"I've missed you too." I sighed as we walked.

"Something on your mind, kid?"

"No, not really." I lied. We walked into the café, and I got my donuts and a cup of coffee. When we sat down in the booth in the back, he looked up at me.

"What?" I asked.

"So… I ran into Dimitri last night." He said.

"Oh boy… and here we go."

"I'm not giving you a hard time or anything like that; I'm just saying… he was pretty upset after he found you and Corey last night." He informed me. He said it like it was news to me. I saw his face… I was aware. Even in my drunken state, I could see how upset he was.

"I know he was. He's just gonna have to get over it… huh?" I said.

"Rose, what are you doing?"

"Adrian, I don't need the third degree this morning. I really don't." I snapped.

"Do you still love him?"

"No." I said.

"Little dhampir, don't lie to me." He said. I stood up from the booth.

"Look, Adrian. I appreciate that you're trying to… well, do whatever it is your doing but I'm not playing his game. It's been two years, and things change."

"That didn't answer my question. Do you still love him?" He asked. I met his gaze, and took a deep breath.

"No." I said, finally. I turned to walk away, exiting the café. I walked right past Dimitri as I exited. The moment I was safe out of ear shot, I looked down and frowned. I was hoping that if I kept saying it, kept convincing other people that I didn't love him, that maybe… just maybe I might eventually be able to get on without the pain the memories and feelings bring forth. I knew it'd never happen though. I closed my eyes, and whispered. _"Yes, I'll always love him." _I kept walking, heading straight for my room. I saw Lissa, and tried to take a detour, but I'd already been caught.

"Hey Rose."

"Hey Lissa." I said, smiling to the best of my ability.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm… adjusting. I'm used to constantly being on the move, so being here is sort of different." I told her. She smiled.

"So, I'm going to meet Queen Tatiana… Would you like to join me?" She asked. She knew what my answer was going to be before she asked the question, but I could tell she was hoping for a yes. She hated going to see Tatiana alone. I would hate to go see her period, but that's just me. I sighed.

"Sure." I said, following her. She looked over at me before speaking.

"So, I healed Dimitri's broken nose the other day."

"I know." I said, no tone in my voice at all.

"You don't seem like you care." She said.

"Because I don't. He deserved it."

"What'd he do?" She asked. I laughed out loud then.

"Oh, he didn't tell you that part of the story, huh?" I asked. She shook her head at me. "Of course not. He's always got to seem like the hero and make me look like the bad guy."

"What happened?"

"He called me a liar. He told me he still loved me, and I told him I didn't love him anymore, and he jumped my case calling me a liar. I'm not lying. If I was, I wouldn't have hit him." I snapped, remembering the night I'd smashed my fist into his nose. I smiled slightly.

"Do you-."

"Adrian and you have been talking, haven't you?" I accused.

"No… I haven't seen Adrian since… Tuesday, when you came back." I could tell by her hesitance that she was lying to me. I didn't call her out on it though, because we were soon entering the throne room. Tatiana smiled at me.

"Well hello there Guardian Hathaway. Long time, no see." She said. It didn't matter how much distance I put between us in the two years I'd been gone… I still hated this smug bitch.

"Sorry, I was out of town for a bit."

"So I heard." She said. She then began talking to Lissa about something, but I tuned it out. I wondered how much everyone here knew. I noticed as I passed people, or spoke to people that were a part of my past, they looked at me as if they could see right through me. I wondered what had really happened after I left. I wondered what they were all keeping from me.

"Would you like to accompany her?" Tatiana asked.

"Accompany her where? I'm sorry… I zoned out." I admitted.

"To speak to the senior students at St. Vladimirs." Lissa said. I weighed my options for a moment, and decided that here in front of the queen, I couldn't say no. Plus, it'd be an opportunity to get away from here. I nodded.

"Of course." I said. Tatiana smiled.

"Thank you Rosemarie." I wrinkled my nose. I hated when she called me that. Regardless, I smiled.

"Yes ma'am." We walked out of the throne room, and Lissa turned to me.

"Really? You're going to go with me?" She asked. I nodded.

"Sure, why not? It'll be me out of here for a little bit." I told her. "When are we leaving?"

"Around ten tomorrow." She said. I nodded.

"I'll meet you at the runway then." I told her.

"Okay." I turned and walked off, heading back towards my room. When I got there, I walked over to my bed, taking a deep breath. I wasn't sure why I'd agreed to this. I was Rose Hathaway. Usually, when I didn't want to do something, I'd just throw a fit and people wouldn't make me do it, but… It's been two years and I've grown up. I have to do things I don't want to do, this being one of them. It's not that I minded going to the academy and helping the seniors, because I didn't. Going back to the place I'd met the man that I'd loved… that I wasn't so okay with. Regardless, I would do it. I laid back on my bed, and closed my eyes. Tomorrow would definitely be interesting. I was sort of nervous. I finally got up and found my cell phone, turning it on and opening it. I had four missed calls, all from Viktoria. When I dialed the number, she answered on the third ring.  
>"Roza?" She asked. I sighed, hating that they all called me that too.<p>

"Hey Vik." I said.

"How are you? How is everything back at court?" She asked. How she knew I was coming back, I had no idea. Then I realized that Yeva probably told them all. I sighed.

"I'm good, and everything at Court is fine." I heard someone mutter something in the background, but I ignored it.

"Is my brother there?"

"Here at court, yes? Around me right now? No." I said. She let out an exasperated sigh.

"I'm glad to hear that."

"He's not going to leave Lissa. I told you all that already."

"I know, but you never know with my brother." She said. I shook my head. She obviously didn't know her brother very well.

"Yeah, he's fine. He's still.. He's still Dimitri." I told her.

"Are you sure everything's alright?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Why?"

"Yeva is giving me a look, like she knows something." She told me. _Damn it. _

"Everything's fine." I told her. "Look, I have to go. I promised Adrian I'd meet him for dinner."

"Okay. Talk to you soon." She said. I heard Yeva in the background muttering how I'd just lied to her before the line went dead. I sighed and threw my phone across the room. I laid back on my bed, and before I knew it. I'd fallen asleep. I didn't fight it. I welcomed the sleep, protecting me from the hellacious world I was in right now, and tomorrow… It would only get better.


	6. Let It Go!

When I woke the next morning, it was a lot earlier that I'd expected. I knew that was bad, because that gave me time to dwell on what I would endure today. I quickly dressed into my guardian uniform, and threw my hair up in a pony tail. I did a little make-up, and slid my stake into its holder before heading out to the runway. When I got there, I found Lissa, Christian, and you guessed it, Dimitri. You've got to be fucking kidding me.

"Goodmorning Rose." Lissa said. I could tell by her face she'd known all along. I felt the urge to hit her, but I couldn't do that.

"Who else are we waiting on?" I asked.

"We were waiting on you, like always." Christian said, smirking. I growled.

"Shut it fire boy." Lissa looked at me apologetically as we got on the plane. When we sat down, she took the seat next to me.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"I know." I murmured, looking out the window.

"Your… you're not mad at me… are you?" She asked. I sighed. I wanted to be mad at her for not telling me, but I wasn't.

"No. I'm not."

"Good. I wanted to tell you, but I knew you wouldn't come, and I didn't want to go unless you came with me." She admitted.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because the academy was our place. We did so much stuff here, and I didn't want to come back without you." She admitted. I nodded.

"It's also the place I met-."

"I know." She murmured. "I'm going to go sit with Christian. Will you be alright?" She asked. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"I'll be fine, Lissa. Go." I told her. She giggled, and kissed my cheek before getting up and walking away. I sat there, staring out the window, not believing the mess I'd gotten myself into. Although, how could I expect anything less. Dimitri went where Lissa went, since he was 'in her debt' for bringing him back and all that bull shit. I was so over all of it that none of it really surprised me anymore. I should have known. I seriously regretted coming back to Court. It's so obvious now that I wasn't really ready for all of this yet, but it was too late now. I was already here. I sighed as I stared out the window. Going to St. Vladimirs was already going to be hard enough, but going with the man who was making it hard to go in the first place, made it ten times worse. When the plane landed, I took a deep breath.

"You ready?" Lissa asked.

"Of course." I muttered, before standing and following the three of them off the plane. The van ride to St. Vladimirs brought back old memories considering Dimitri and I were once again sitting side by side like we had on our first trip to Missoula. I could have cut the tension in the van with my stake. It was killing me. When we reached the academy, I was the first one out of the van. When the rest of them got out, we found Headmistress Kirova standing out front waiting on us. She smiled as we all approached.

"Well hello everyone. It's so great to see you all again." We all muttered our hello's as she gave us the lowdown about the assembly we'd be talking about. She wanted Lissa to talk about being royal, and Court, and her element. She wanted me to talk about trials and what they were like, and how hard we had to train. Then, she threw the big one on Dimitri and I.

"I'd like you two to show them a little of what you guys can do. You know, like when you were here and Guardian Belikov was your mentor. Just a little, no big show or anything. We'll have the mats laid out for you and everything." She said. Lissa's eyes went wide as they fell on me. I saw Dimitri nod once, so I did the same.

"No problem." I said, my voice almost betraying me. I think Kirova could sense something going on between all of us, but she didn't want to ask. I didn't blame her.

"When are we doing this?" Lissa asked.

"The assembly is in about thirty minutes. You can just hang around until then." She said. Lissa nodded.

"Thank you." She told her, before Kirova walked off.

"I need a minute." I stated, walking away.

"Do you-." Lissa started, but I shook my head knowing her question.

"No, I'll be fine." I said, walking off. I couldn't believe all of this was happening to me. God hated me. I sincerely believed that God loved to watch me squirm, and that's why all of this was happening to me. Regardless, I walked the academy's grounds, like I so often did when I called this place home. I noticed something quite large in the woods, off in the distance. It was then that I realized what it was. _The cabin. _I stood there, frozen for what seemed like ever. Finally, I took a deep breath and started towards it. Why I was doing this, I couldn't tell you. I guess I just loved to rip myself apart, little by little. When I reached the door, I slowly opened the door, surprised to find it still unlocked. When the door swung open, the memories hit me like a battering ram. The scent of the room, the way it looked, everything. All I could think about was him. He had filled my senses that night, and everything I was and wanted to be, was because of him. It was the moment I realized that he was all I'd ever want, all I'd ever need. It was that night that I realized I'd give up everything for him. The cabin still looked exactly the way we left it, meaning no one had been here since our night in here. I sighed, as I ran my fingers over the soft comforter that still laid on the bed. I heard footsteps behind me, as his boots hit the hardwood. I didn't bother to turn.

"I thought I might find you here." He said. I didn't bother responding to that. Instead, I spoke the words that were running through my head.

"It looks exactly like we left it." I whispered. As I made my way to the other side of the room, I turned and looked at him, to find him looking around.

"You're right." He said, simply.

"Lissa didn't tell me you were coming with us."

"I know. I asked her not to. I knew how bad she wanted you to come. I didn't want to mess that up for her." He said, looking down.

"Of course not." I muttered. I sat down on the bed, and looked down at my hands.

"I remember the night we spent in here like it was yesterday."

"Who knew so much could change in just a few years." I murmured thoughtfully. I was afraid to look at him now.

"It didn't have too." He said.

"You made it this way." I said, my head snapping up to look at him. He was quiet for a second, before he murmured two words that numbed my soul.

"I know." I stared at him for the longest time. I couldn't believe the words I'd just heard.

"What do you mean, you know?" I asked.

"It's my fault. I lied to you when I said my love had faded, and that I'd given up on you. I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. Roza, the things I did to you… I saw them day in and day out, every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was your face as I tried to kill you, tried to suck the life out of you. I couldn't help that though. That wasn't me. You were right when you said that. The things I said to you, Rose. When I told you my love had faded, I lied. I never stopped loving you." He said. I stared at him with my mouth wide open, trying to comprehend the words he'd just said. I broke myself out of my trance when my phone rang.

"Hathaway." I answered.

"Rose, it's time. Is Dimitri with you?" She asked.

"Yeah, we're coming." I told her, hanging up.

"We have to go." I said, getting up and walking past him. He grabbed my wrist gently, pulling me around to look at him.

"Don't ever forget that I'll always love you, Roza." I just stared at him for a second, before I spoke.

"We're going to be late." I said, tugging my hand out of his grip. He let his fingers slide off my skin gently, causing goosebumps to rise. When I reached the gym, Lissa and Christian were waiting against the back wall. I smiled as I approached with Dimitri following behind. Kirova talked for what seemed like forever, before she introduced us. Lissa, Christian, Dimitri, and I each took a microphone from the table in the corner, as Lissa started talking. She introduced herself, and began explaining things about court, and what it meant to be a royal. When she got to talking about being a spirit user, it grabbed everyone's attention. I wondered if there were any spirit users here now. I knew it wasn't common, but I was still curious. When she was done, Christian talked a little bit about being a fire user, and what it was like having his parents willingly turn strigoi. That had everyone's attention too. When it was my turn, I suddenly felt a little nervous.

"Hey guys, I'm Rose Hathaway, and I'm Princess Dragomirs guardian." I said. It felt good to say that again. "How many of you in this gym today are dhampirs?" I asked. A good portion of the gym raised their hands. "Alright, how many of you are training to be guardians?" The same amount of hands were raised. "How many of you have someone you want to guard already?" I asked. A lot of hands went down. Actually, there were maybe seventy hands raised. I nodded.

"That's good. It's good to know before you actually graduate. I'd planned on being Lissa's guardian since we were in the seventh grade here, so it's good to have your priorities straight before you get to that point in your life." I said. I stopped for a second, taking a deep breath. "When I was in school here, I made some bad choices. I took my education here and what I was training for here as a joke. I partied, I snuck out, and I did all the things they told us not to do. I'm telling you now; don't take this as a joke. My first strigoi encounter was on campus, and I could have very easily been killed. If I didn't have the support system I did, I probably never would have made it through school." I said, my eyes falling on Dimitri. He cracked a small smile that sent my heart into overdrive. "How many of you here, training to be guardian's think you're a complete bad-ass?" I asked. I heard giggles as the word ass left my lips. A few in the front row raised their hands. I smiled. I walked over and stood in front of a tall dhampir boy. I smiled. "Wanna see how bad-ass you are?" I asked.

"You're a girl." He told me. I laughed.

"Get up, and come here." I said, walking to the mat. "Lissa, come here please." She walked over, and stood on the mat. I smiled at her. "Stay right where you are." I told her. She nodded. I turned to the boy who'd made his way to the center of the gym. "What's your name?" I asked.

"I'm Anthony." He told me. I smiled as a few of his friends started screaming when he spoke.

"Alright, I want you to pretend that your Princess Dragomirs guardian and I'm a strigoi. You have to do what you can to protect her, understand?" He nodded. I glanced in Dimitri's direction, and caught him smiling at me. I focused my attention back to Lissa and the boy. I crouched down, and started towards him. He went into his defense stance, which was a lot better than mine used to be. I took a few steps forward before I charged him. I threw a few punches and kicks, and took a few from him as well. He left himself open and vulnerable for about two seconds. I had him on the ground and my arms around Lissa's throat before he even realized he'd been put to the mat. He sat up, looking around like he had no idea what just happened. The kids in the stands laughed as he stomped back to his seat. "You're never as bad-ass as your think you are. I promise. You can ask Guardian Belikov here. I thought I was the toughest thing out there for the longest time when I was in school, and when I met my first strigoi, I realized how wrong I was. Now, I can say… I'm the toughest thing out there, but hey… some people are cockier than others." I said. "Guardian Belikov here was my mentor when I went to school here. He made me into the bad-ass that I am today. I'm sure you've actually heard about both of us. We're sort of popular in the moroi world." I chuckled.

"Hey, didn't he used to be a strigoi?" I heard someone call from the stands. I turned to Dimitri and frowned slightly.

"I was. I was restored by Princess Vasilisa and Guardian Hathaway." Dimitri said. He then went into a talk about what it was like being Strigoi, and what it was like being brought back. He had the crowd, like he normally did when he spoke. When he was done, I sighed. Here it came, my own personal hell.

"So, now that we've talked to you a little bit about what it's like to be out of school, and what it was like for us in school, well… We'd like to give you a little show." I told them. The gym burst into applauds and Dimitri and I took out spots on the mat. I took a deep breath. He met my eyes as if he was feeling the same thing I was. He knew what this was going to do to both of us. I bowed slightly at him, and took a few steps towards him. If we were gonna do this, might as well be thorough.

"Ready Comrade?" I asked. I watched as his mask slipped and he frowned slightly before nodding.

"Let's go Roza." He said, I smirked as we circled each other. He made the first move, throwing a punch that I skillfully blocked. Hell broke loose then. I started in on him, throwing a fury of kicks and punches, connecting a few, others being blocked. He grabbed my arm, and tried to take me to the ground, but I managed to mule kick him hard enough that he loosened his hold long enough for me to yank myself free. I went after his legs, but like always, Dimitri was faster than me. He managed to move in the nick of time. I smirked as I went back to punches and kicks. I actually landed a few more on him then I normally did. I finally saw my winning move. I kicked him hard, causing him to hesitate. I kicked his legs out from under him, causing him to start towards the ground, but he took me with him, pushing me to the mat as he fell to the floor. I quickly protected my chest, knowing I couldn't let him win. With him straddling me, it was harder to concentrate. I could see it was having the same affect on him. I quickly shifted my weight, rolling us over, putting me on top of him. I fought against his hands, and quickly placed them over his heart. It was over. I'd won. The gym erupted into screaming and applauds, but it was all a dull noise in the background. All I could focus on was him. He pushed himself up on his elbows, his dark eyes locked on mine. I found myself leaning forward, as if to kiss him. I couldn't do this; I can't let myself fall into this again. He hurt me. He broke me. _Love fades, mine has. _That was like a cold bucket of water being thrown on me. I stopped right before our lips touched, and jumped up, running out of the gym. The moment I was safe from the hundred of pairs of eyes on us, I hit my knees, breathing hard. I felt like I wanted to cry, but the tears just wouldn't come out. When I was finally able to breathe, I slowly made my way to my feet, walking towards the van. I heard footsteps jogging up behind me.

"Roza…" He started.

"Please…. Dimitri, don't."

"I don't understand, I told you that-." I cut him off. The tears that wouldn't come earlier were now streaming down my face.

"I can't do this with you, Dimitri. I can't take the chance on being hurt again. You left me, walked out on me, and gave up on me. No matter what we went through, I never gave up hope that we'd be together… but you did. You always told me that if I wanted something, I should go get it. You also told me that sometimes… I have to put myself first. I did. I was willing to give up everything for you in Russia, back at the academy. I would have turned strigoi for you, because I loved you that much." I said.

"That wasn't love. You were high on endorphins; you would have done anything I told you." I shook my head.

"No… You're wrong. I ran from you because I knew Lissa needed me. I knew it was possible she could die. Without that in the way… I would have done anything to be by your side again, no rules, no restrictions, just us. You've always kept me at arm's length, never really letting me in." I said, tears still streaming down my face. I'd never been this vulnerable in front of him.

"I'm sorry, Roza. I truly am. I just… I want you. I need you in my life. I love you, and that feeling's never going to go away. You and I were meant for each other and you know that. You know me, understand me on a level no one else could ever begin to understand. That's why I didn't leave with Tasha. I knew if I tried to be with her, I'd spend my life comparing it to what it would have been with you. And Russia, I left because I didn't want a strigoi life for you. Even in my undead state, I knew I had to get away from you, afraid I'd kill you, or turn you. I couldn't do that. I love you… Just please, please love me." He begged.

"I can't."

"You can, but you won't. Roza, I promise I won't ever hurt you again." He promised. It sounded so good, and there were words to describe how bad I wanted to run into his arms, but I couldn't. He hurt me, cut me deep. I couldn't do this, could I?

"I can't…I can't love you anymore." I whispered.

"But you do." He said.

"It doesn't matter." I snapped.

"It does matter. Listen to us, we are meant to be together. You know that. If we weren't, we wouldn't end up doing this over and over again. We keep circling back to each other. This," He motioned between us. "is real, it's what's meant to be, and you're just not letting it."

"There is no us anymore, Dimitri. It's over… just let it go."

"I won't." He said, voice hard. I watched as a tear slowly rolled down his cheek. What was left of my feeble heart was breaking. I took a few steps forward, putting me right in front of him. I reached up, and wiped away the tear, barely touching him.

"Then you'll only end up being disappointed." I whispered. I met his gaze for a second, before walking away.


	7. Rumour Has it!

When we got back to court that night, I was in dire need of a drink. Regardless, I walked past the bar and the café, and headed straight for my room. The tears had stopped, but my mood hadn't gotten any better. If anything, the ride back to the airport made worse. When I reached my room, I headed straight for my shower. I smelled just like him, and it'd been killing me. The entire plane ride home, all I could smell was him even though he was five rows behind me. When I stripped my uniform, I kicked it out of the bathroom door, just so I wouldn't have to smell it anymore. I quickly bathed, and got out, putting on my robe. The moment I stepped out of the bathroom, there was a knock at my door. I walked over, and opened it slightly to find Adrian on the other side. To be honest, I was expecting Corey.

"Hey Adrian." I said, opening the door for him to come in. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked away.

"Hey Little dhampir." He said, as he walked in with two bags, shutting the door.

"What is this?" I asked. He smiled.

"Well, I heard you had a rough day, so I brought you some dinner, and a bottle of Vodka."

"You're sucking up." I accused. He nodded.

"Is it working?" He asked. I laughed.

"Duh, you have Chinese food and liquor." I told him, causing him to smile. "Let me change, and we'll eat."

"You don't have to change. You can-." I cut him off with a look. He smirked.

"I'll be back." I grabbed a change of clothes and went into the bathroom. I changed, and walked back out.

"You looked much better before." He teased. I smirked.

"Don't make me hurt you Ivashkov."

"Sorry." He said. I smiled and grabbed two glasses and opened the bottle of Vodka first. I needed a drink before I needed food. "So, I hear you had kind of a rough day today."

"Depends who you talked to." I said.

"Well, I talked to Lissa, but I saw Dimitri and he looked pretty rough." He told me. I felt pain wash through me as I remembered what had happened between Dimitri and I.

"Yeah, today wasn't so great." I said, taking a swig of Vodka. He chuckled.

"I can see that." He said, motioning to my dwindling glass of Vodka. He pulled out a Styrofoam tray and handed it to me. I opened it, and slowly began eating, not wanting to make myself sick since I was drinking. "So I heard you and Dimitri had to fight today." I nodded.

"Yeah, we did." I said, staring down at my tray.

"And after that… I heard you ran off."

"I did." I said.

"And he followed." I nodded once. He frowned. "And what happened?" I shook my head.

"I… I can't do it again, Adrian. I love him, but I just can't do this anymore. He gave up on me. He walked out on me, and I won't take the chance on it happening again." I told him.

"I get it." Adrian said. I sighed.

"I'm scared. I love him, Adrian… But I just… I can't." I said. He nodded.

"Calm down little dhampir, I get it. I'm not going to try and persuade you to think otherwise." He assured me. I just looked down. After we finished eating, I brushed my teeth and sat back down on the loveseat next to him with my fifth cup of Vodka.

"Adrian… I'm sorry I left without telling you. I know I told you that already, but I am." He nodded.

"I know, Rose. I know." He told me. I sighed.

"I've missed you, Adrian." He chuckled.

"You're drunk." He told me.

"I'm not." I protested. I looked up at him, and smiled. "Did I ever tell you how pretty your eyes are?"

"You're really drunk."

"I'm not, stop saying that. Jeez." I snapped. He laughed.

"Sorry." He said. I narrowed my eyes, but then smiled. "And to answer your question, yes… You have told me that before."

"Well, I'm telling you again." I said. He smiled. I found myself sort of lost in Adrian's eyes, almost like I'd been lost in Corey's a few days ago. I found myself leaning towards Adrian, as if to kiss him.

"Rose, don't… You're drunk. You're going to regret it in the morning." He said. Even I could hear the pain in his voice when he said that I'd regret it. I placed a finger on his lips.

"Shh…" I whispered, before I pressed my mouth to his. Regardless of all the things that had happened between Adrian and I, he always felt like home. He was my safe haven, and no matter what I knew he'd always be here for me. When we pulled away to breathe, he met my gaze.

"Oh fuck it." He said, before bringing his mouth back to mine, and pushing his body closer to mine. He reached up and ran his hands through my soaking wet hair, as I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself closer to him. He found his way to the seam of my shirt, and worked his hands inside of it, letting his fingers trace the skin there. I reveled in the skin on skin contact. He worked his hands up my body, bringing my shirt up with it. When he pulled it up over my head, he tossed it to the floor, tracing his hands back down my body, his fingers like feathers on my skin. He pulled away from my mouth to place kissed down my neck, nibbling on the skin there. He continued kissing down my neck, my chest, my stomach. As he moved back up my body, I went to work on the buttons on his shirt, undoing them each, until I was able to push away the shirt and pull him against me. I loved the way he felt underneath my hands. Adrian was beautiful, and it wasn't something that ever went unnoticed when I was around him. This went on for what seemed like forever, before I pulled away from him. My buzz must have been wearing off.

"What did I-." I cut him off, and smiled.

"No silly, you didn't do anything."

"Then what is it?" He asked.

"I don't want any more than this right now, and I'm afraid if I continue I'll want more." I admitted, my face getting hot. He smiled and touched my cheeks.

"I get it. It's fine." He said. He ran a hand down my body to my belly button, and smiled. "You're beautiful." I smirked.

"Thank you… You're not so bad yourself." I murmured, pressing a kiss to his chest before standing. He growled.

"You don't play fair."

"I know." I said, smirking. I pulled my shirt back on, and yawned.

"Sleepy?" He asked.

"A little."

"I'll leave. You get some sleep." I shook my head at him.

"Don't leave… I mean… will you stay with me tonight?"

"You're bluffing." He said.

"No… I'm not. I just don't think it's in my best interest to be alone. Stay with me… Just for tonight?" I asked. He nodded.

"Of course, little dhampir." He said. I smiled and pulled my shirt back on. I went into my bedroom, as he followed. He threw his shirt on the chair, and undid his belt and pants, taking those off and laying those over the chair too. I crawled into bed, as he did the same. I rolled over and looked at him.

"Adrian… Thank you." I whispered.

"For?"

"For everything." I said, touching his face. He nodded.

"You're welcome." He said. I heard a bit of pain in his voice as he spoke. I knew that he knew he was only a distraction, that I'd never be able to love him the way I loved Dimitri, but he, in his own little way, he was okay with that. I wasn't proud of what I'd done, but it'd numbed the pain for tonight and that was all I cared about. I scooted over to Adrian, and laid my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and held me close. In this moment, that was all I really needed. I closed my eyes, and slowly I fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I was surprised to find Adrian still in bed beside me. The night before events came thundering back on me, Adrian and I on my loveseat doing some hot and heavy making out. I sighed, as I tried to squirm out of his grip. The moment I moved, his eyes fluttered and opened. Talk about your light sleeper. Regardless, I smiled.

"Goodmorning sleeping beauty." I said. He chuckled.

"Morning." He said, releasing me. I yawned and stretched my body. I sat up, as he did the same.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Perfect." He told me, smiling. I could tell that he'd enjoyed himself last night. I was glad I could at least give him that much after what I'd done. He quickly dressed, as I changed into my normal clothes. When he got ready to leave, I walked him to the door. I hugged him, as he kissed my forehead.

"Thank you… for last night." I said, looking away. He pulled my face up to look at him.

"Don't mention it." He murmured. He smiled at me, before opening the door, and walking out. I watched as he disappeared down the hallway. I had no idea what I'd started, or whether it was a good or bad thing, but… whatever the case, he'd been my distraction for the evening and that was all that mattered. I headed down to the café, and was caught by Corey on my way there.

"Hey there, Hathaway."

"Hi." I said, as we walked inside.

"How are you this morning?"

"I've had better days, but I can't complain." I admitted. He smiled.

"That's good. I'm glad to hear your doing better."

"Thanks." I said.

"Mind if I sit with you?" He asked.

"Of course not." I said. I was actually being truthful. Corey wasn't so bad to be around.

"So, I heard you took a trip back to your old school with the princess." He said.

"Word gets around here, huh?" I asked.

"It does. How'd the school thing go?"

"It wasn't so bad. I like helping the up and coming guardians." I admitted, which was actually truthful.

"You'd be a good teacher to a novice."

"I would be horrible. I'd get so agitated with them, I'd probably hurt them. Especially if they were anything like me… I don't know how Di-." I cut myself off, when I realized where I was going with that.

"Anyway, what are you doing today?"

"Probably something with Lissa." I told him. He just nodded. "Why?"

"I was going to ask if you wanted to hang out."

"Hang out?" I asked.

"I don't know. I don't have a lot of friends here. There are very few people I talk to, you being one of them."

"I'm honored." I told him. "But I do kind of need to hang out with Lissa. I feel like I've barely seen her since I've been back." I was lying, yes… but I didn't want to hang out with him too after what had happened last night with Adrian. I also needed to talk to Lissa about that. He nodded.

"That's fine. I get it." He said. I finished my coffee, and got up.

"I'll see you around though." I promised. He nodded. I started back into court and towards Lissa's room. When I got there, her door was cracked and I heard Dimitri's voice. He sounded like he was upset.

"Please, Lissa… I can't deal with this. I need her, and she won't have anything to do with me. You've got to make her see that I can't live without her… Please."

"Dimitri, I can't do anything. Nothing I can say is going to help. You got yourself into this mess." She told him, something hidden in her voice.

"I know I did, but… You've got to help me."

"I've tried. She's hard-headed. You know that. She's gotten even more hard-headed since she's been gone." Lissa informed him.

"Lissa, I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I thought by separating myself from her, she'd be able to be with Adrian. I knew he could love her like she needed, like she deserved, but… I lied. Telling her my love had faded was the biggest mistake I've ever made." He told her.

"I know, and there's nothing you can do to make it better. Maybe you should just give up. If she wanted to forgive you and be with you, she would be." Lissa told him. I was confused by the exchange they were having.

"I can't give up on her… not again." He said. I heard his footsteps coming towards the door, so I quickly hauled ass down the hall, careful not to be caught. When I was out of the danger zone, I stood there, not sure how to process the things I'd just heard. I felt my wall I'd built to keep all those feelings out come crashing down upon me. It was then I found myself heading to the bar downstairs. I needed another drink.


	8. Vows!

I wasn't sure how what I was supposed to do after I heard Dimitri and Lissa's exchange this afternoon. I sat at the bar, with my head in my hands.

"Need a refill?" Liam, the bartender asked. I nodded and slid my glass to him. He filled it back up with the expensive vodka I was drinking, and handed it back.

"Thanks." I said. I'd lost count of how many I drank. A dhampir guy that I didn't recognize came up and sat down beside me. He was extremely cute, and had such pretty green eyes, almost like Adrian's.

"Hello there, gorgeous."

"Hey." I said, taking another swig of my drink.

"What is a beautiful woman like you doing alone tonight?" He asked. I sighed.

"Long story… don't wanna talk about it." I slurred. He smiled.

"Doesn't matter. What's your name beautiful?"

"Rose Hathaway… and you?" I asked.

"I'm Logan. It's a pleasure to meet you." He said, taking my hand and kissing it. I smirked.

"I'm sure."

"Would you like to come back to my place? Get better acquainted?" He asked. I almost laughed, but I could smell the alcohol on his breath, and knew this was going to end badly.

"I actually have to be going. It's getting late." I said, trying to get out of my barstool without falling. He then laid a hand on my arm, smiling.

"Come on… just for a little while. I promise you won't regret it." He said.

"You've got about two seconds to get your hand off me before you lose it."

"Don't be like that, Rose. I'm just trying to show you a good time." He said, tightening his grip on my wrist. I drew back to swing when I heard a voice that made me freeze.

"Get your hand off her, now." The voice said, that Russia accent thickly lacing his words.

"What are you going to do about it Belikov?" He asked. Logan released me, and stood up. Dimitri took a step forward, and swung hard, catching him in the jaw. Logan hit the floor.

"Come on Rose." He said, offering me his hand. I took it, as he pulled me out of the stool. I stumbled into him, causing him to wrap an arm around my waist. When he got me out of the bar, I turned to him.

"I can make it from here, thanks." I said, pushing myself away from him. The moment I was standing on my own, my legs started to give out and I started to fall forward.

"Before or after the sun rises?" He asked me, smartly. I growled. He smiled at me. "You should know better than to get that drunk by now. You know bad things happen when you drink."

"Shut up, Dimitri." I muttered, as we made our way to my room. When we finally reached the door, he helped me over to my couch. I sat down, and sighed. "Thank you." I said. He nodded. He started to leave, when I felt the sudden urge to get sick. I was on my feet and sprinting for the bathroom before he even realized I'd gotten up. I hit my knees in front of the toilet, and heaved my guts into it. It was in this moment that I realized I hadn't really eaten all day. _Stupid move, Rose. _Dimitri walked in, and pulled my hair back out of my face. He reached into the cabinet under the sink, and pulled out a wash rag, wetting it and placing it on the back of my neck. When I was finally able to breathe again, after heaving up the contents of my stomach, I turned to look at him.

"You can leave." I said, trying to keep my voice hard. Instead, it came out as a whimper. My eyes were drooping slightly. He shook his head and didn't say anything. He knelt down next to me.

"Are you through puking?" He asked.

"Leave, Dimitri." I groaned. He shook his head. He stood up and opened my medicine cabinet, pulling out a bottle of aspirin. He poured two small red pills into his hand and gave them to me. He grabbed the cup off the counter, and filled it with water. He then handed it to me.

"Take them." He urged. I sighed, and did as he asked. He knelt down at eye level, and smiled slightly.

"Wanna know something disgusting?"

"Wanna know what I want more than anything right now? You to leave." I snapped. He flinched a little, but didn't get up to move. Instead, he reached over me and turned the water on in the bathtub. "What are you doing?" I demanded. He shook his head.

"Just trust me." He said, as my eyes got heavier and heavier.

"Sad part is, I can't trust you anymore."

"What have I ever done to make you not trust me?" He asked, as he forced my head back to let the water run over my hair. It was then I realized what he was doing. I'd thrown up in my hair, and he was washing it out. I could tell he was also trying to keep me talking. He was trying to keep me awake.

"You told me you loved me, and that you'd never let anything happen to me."

"And I haven't." He snapped.

"You're wrong. You never thought the person I'd need protecting from at the end of it all would be you." I murmured. This caught him off guard, because he sat up for a second.

"Rose, I-." I shook my head. I tried to sit up, so I could stand, but I got light-headed and toppled over. He caught me before I could fall over, and into my bathtub. He helped me up, and into the living room. He helped me into the chair, and knelt down beside me. "I never meant for things to end up like this between us. If you don't believe anything else that I've told you… you at least have to believe that."

"I don't know what to believe anymore." I murmured. I knew it was the alcohol talking, but regardless, I kept going. "I've been through too much now. It seems like the only one I can trust is myself."

"Roza, you can trust me. I'd never-." I cut him off.

"Just stop, Dimitri. I don't want to hear it."

"Will you just listen to me for once?" He asked, meeting my gaze.

"I could care less about what you have to say. Nothing you can say is going to change the fact that-."

"Roza, listen to me. I love you; I don't care how much you say otherwise. I've told you a thousand times over how I feel about you, and I'll say the same thing until I die. You'll always be the one for me, regardless of the past. I told you long ago that my heart was with you." He said.

"And then… you were turned strigoi, and when I turned you back… you gave up on me."

"No… You listen to me, Rosemarie Hathaway… My heart has always been with you. That was the sole reason I didn't leave with Tasha, the reason I gave in to my feelings that night in the cabin, the reason I fled to Russia when I was turned, the reason I wanted to turn you when I was a strigoi, and the reason I told you my love had faded when I was turned back." He said.

"That doesn't make sense." I slurred.

"It makes perfect sense. My heart went dark. Everything and anything I'd ever felt was gone when I was a strigoi. All I wanted was to kill, to feed, and to be on top. Roza, it wasn't that I didn't love you when I was restored. It was that I couldn't love you. I wish you could have felt, could have been overwhelmed the way I was when I was restored."

"But you didn't have to lie to me." I told him.

"You wouldn't have accepted it any other way."

"You didn't give me the chance." I snapped at him. I felt myself starting to slowly lose it. The composure I'd held on too was slipping through my hands.

"You're right… I didn't." He murmured, looking down. He glanced over at the loveseat to notice its sloppy appearance. I hadn't cleaned it up from Adrian and I's escapades last night.

"What happened over there?" He asked. I debated on lying to him, but I'd just jumped his case for lying to me.

"Adrian was here last night." I admitted, no shame what so ever.

"Did he stay the night?" He asked, pain very prominent in his voice. I nodded once.

"He did." He didn't say anything else for a few minutes. Finally, he stood up.

"I should probably go. It's getting late, and you need to rest." I just nodded, as he started towards the door. Right before he reached for the door handle, I sighed.

"Dimitri?"

"Yeah?" He asked, trying to keep his Guardian mask up.

"I didn't… I didn't have sex with him. I haven't had sex with anyone since you." I admitted. I couldn't help but smirk at the smile that lit up his face.

"You mean that? You mean in two years… you haven't-?" I shook my head.

"Nope… not since you." I murmured.

"I… I don't know what to say." He said. I sighed, and stood up, stumbling my way towards him. He took a few steps forward, and caught me before I could fall. When I got to him, I stood up on my tip toes, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. When I pulled away, his eyes remained closed for a second.

"Thank you, for taking care of me tonight." I finally murmured.

"You're welcome. Thank you… for being honest with me." I just nodded.

"Goodnight Roza."

"Night Comrade." I said. He opened the door, and took two steps out, before he turned to me and smiled.

"By the way… after our fight the other day at the academy, I want a rematch. I have to beat you." He said, smirking. It was the most genuine smile I'd seen on him since I'd restored him.

"Its not gonna happen, but we'll see." I assured him. He nodded, before closing the door behind him. Once he was gone, I took a deep breath, realizing that I'd just broken every vow I made myself. I told myself that I wouldn't let him back in, that I wasn't going to let him know how much he hurt me, that I wasn't going to let him know how much I still cared. I'd broken every one of those vows tonight, and to be quite honest… I could care less. I walked over to my bed, and crawled into it, closing my eyes, and slowly drifting into unconsciousness. It was the first time in a long time that I'd gotten a full nights sleep, without waking up due to the nightmares.


	9. Here We Go Again!

When I woke the next morning, I had the most horrible taste in my mouth that you could imagine. It made me gag. I quickly pushed myself out of the bed, and stumbled to the bathroom, brushing my teeth like a mad woman. When I finally got that taste out of my mouth, I walked back out and sat down on my bed. I rubbed my face, and sighed. Last night, had ended tragically. I'd opened up a whole other can of worms when I let him bring me home last night, and I made it even worse when I had civil conversation with him. I shook my head at how stupid I was. I knew better than to let him help me home. I knew better than to go to the bar at all. I sighed. It seemed like I'd done nothing but make shitty decisions since I'd gotten back here. I finally grabbed a change of clothes, and got a quick shower, before dressing and heading to the café for a much needed cup of coffee. When I walked in, I found Lissa and Christian sitting at a booth when papers strewn out across the table. I ordered my cup of coffee and walked over.

"Hey guys." I said, sitting beside Christian.

"Hey Rose." Lissa said nothing.

"What's she doing?"

"Math." Christian stated simply. I chuckled.

"For what?" I asked.

"Something the queen has her working on." He explained. I shook my head.

"Suck up." I muttered.

"Just because I'm not talking, doesn't mean I'm deaf." She said. I giggled.

"What is it you're doing math for?"

"Tatiana's planning a party, and I'm kind of helping plan it. Right now, I'm adding up expenses." I wrinkled my nose.

"What kind of party?" I asked.

"The royal kind."

"Those aren't any fun." I muttered. Christian laughed.

"Why? Because you can't get drunk, and take your clothes off?" Christian asked. I narrowed my eyes at him for a moment before smiling.

"That's exactly why." I said, chuckling. He laughed. Lissa was smiling down at the papers she was looking at, shaking her head.

"You know you're not a fan of royal parties either." I told Christian. He nodded.

"I'm aware. I hate them, actually."

"It's not going to be that bad. Neither of you have to come." She said.

"Who'd be your date if I didn't go?" He asked.

"Who'd look out for you if I didn't go?" I asked. She looked up and glared at both of us.

"Both of you can kiss my ass." She said. I giggled. After sitting there with them for a while, she finally finished and headed off to give the papers to Tatiana. Christian sat across the table from me with a smile.

"What do you know?" I finally said. He chuckled, and shook his head at me. "Spit it out, Fireboy."

"I talked to Adrian."

"I bet you did." I said, realizing that I hadn't seen him since the night he left. Christian laughed.

"So, I heard you guys had a good time the other night." I shrugged.

"I guess you could say that." He gave me that shit eating grin of his. "Does Lissa know?" He shook his head.

"Nah, he told me when I saw him when I was on my way to get lunch with her."

"Oh." He nodded.

"Is there something going-." I shook my head.

"Nope… He was just there, and I needed a distraction." I admitted, no shame at all. Christian nodded. I knew that no matter what, Christian wouldn't judge me no matter what I told him. The boy has had it rough all his life, and he knew what it was like to have someone give up on you, much like his parents did him. I looked up, and saw Dimitri walk in through the rear exit. I quickly stood up. "I've got to go, I'll see you later."

"Dimitri just walked in, didn't he?" Christian asked, already understanding. I nodded once.

"Later fire boy." I said. I heard Dimitri call my name as the door closed behind me. I walked fast, hoping I'd be able to get far enough that I'd be able to ignore him. I got to the lobby when he caught up to me. _Damn. _

"Hey Rose…How are you feeling?" he asked. Walls were back up now, no alcohol to chip them.

"I'm fine." I answered simply, avoiding his gaze.

"I was worried after I left."

"I'm fine. I can take care of myself." I assured him.

"You were doing so well last night, puking in your hair."

"I would have been fine." I snapped at him. He made it seem like I'd needed him last night, and that hadn't been the case at all.

"I don't understand why you're being like this. We were fine last night, you even-." I shook my head at him.

"I was drunk, Dimitri. I was drunk and sick; of course we were fine last night. I wasn't thinking." I snapped at him. He shook his head.

"Rose, it doesn't have to be this way between us. Last night proved that." He tried.

"No… Dimitri, last night was great. It was real, but I've told you… I wasn't in my right mind. If I'd been sober that never would have happened and you know it."

"You're wrong. You're going to realize-." I cut him off, knowing where he was going.

"No… do not tell me what I'm going to realize. I know what I want and what I don't. I could care less about things being right between us, because nothing you can say is going to make it better. Yeah, you may not have intended for things to turn out the way they did, but that doesn't make them any less painful, or anymore easier to endure." I told him. He looked down.

"So last night-."

"One drunken night, Dimitri." I murmured.

"Drunken words are sober thoughts." He said.

"That might be true. I meant everything I said last night, but it never would have been said had I not been drinking so heavily." I told him. He then looked at me with a serious face.

"What drove you to drink so much yesterday?" He asked. He knew me to well. He knew I never did anything without a motive.

"I… I-." I cut myself off, before realizing, I couldn't lie to him. "I heard you talking to Lissa yesterday."

"You were listening?"

"I was going to see her, and the door was cracked, and I overheard." I told him. "I wasn't eavesdropping or anything, I swear, I just-." He just nodded.

"I don't care than you heard. It wasn't anything I haven't told you already. Now you know everything I said was real, and that I meant it."

"I have to go."

"Roza, please." He said.

"What'd I tell you about calling me that?" I demanded.

"You didn't mind last night." He said.

"I wish last night had never happened. Jesus Christ, I can't help the things I said or did last night, but I can guarantee that I wouldn't have said nor done any of it had I been sober. Get that through your head now. I wasn't me then." I snapped at him. He frowned.

"I don't believe you. I believe that you want to let me back in, but your conscious mind won't let you."

"You're wrong. It's that for once in my life; I'm listening to my head instead of my heart." I turned and walked away from him. As I started towards my room, I saw Adrian. I called out to him, and he turned and smiled slightly.

"Hey Rose." He said, keeping his head down. He was obviously embarrassed about the other night.

"Where have you been? You disappeared after you left the other night."

"Sorry, I've been busy." He told me. I could tell he was lying.

"Oh yeah? With what?" I asked him. He hesitated, trying to think of a logic excuse but came up short.

"I've-."

"Been avoiding me." I finished for him.

"No, I would never." I smiled.

"Don't give me that crap, Ivashkov. You know I know you better than that. I just don't understand why." I told him. I wondered if he was mad at me. If he was upset because he finally figured out that last night was me using him to distract myself.

"I haven't been avoiding you… I've just been giving you space." He finally said.

"What? Why?" I asked. I was so confused. Usually it was easy to guess Adrian's train of thought, now… it wasn't so easy.

"I just… I thought after what happened the other night, you were gonna be all weird around me. I knew you were drunk, and I let it happen anyway, and I shouldn't have. I've missed you so much, and I let that get in the way of what I knew was right. I'm sorry for that, little dhampir. That's why I was giving you space." I just stared at him. I wasn't sure what to say. I definitely wasn't expecting that. He thought I was going to regret what happened between us. It was then I remembered that he even told me I was going to regret it in the morning, and I didn't. I shook my head, and took a couple steps forward. I hesitated for a second, before pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

"I don't regret what happened, nor would I take it back. I was drunk, yes… but I knew what I was doing. Adrian, you were there and I was lonely, and hurting, and I needed you. Yeah, it was a low blow considering I know how you feel about me, but I wouldn't take it back." I finally said. He raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" He asked. I nodded.

"I'm sorry that I did it, knowing how you feel about me… but I wouldn't take it back. I was worried you disappeared because you were angry at me." I admitted. He chuckled.

"No… I wasn't angry. I was scared you were going to hurt me next time you saw me." I laughed and shook my head.

"Nahh, not this time." I teased. He grinned.

"How are you doing?"

"I've been better, but I'm alright." I told him. He smiled.

"I can make you feel better." He said, stepping closer to me. I giggled, and pushed him.

"Watch it Ivashkov. Don't make me hurt you." I warned playfully. He smirked.

"Well, I've got to go. I'll see you around little dhampir." He said.

"Bye Adrian." I said, as he turned and walked away. When I got back to my room, I sat down on my couch and shook my head. I'd gotten myself into a whole mess of shit. Between Adrian, Dimitri, and Lissa… I was slowly beginning to lose it. I was going to have fun figuring all this out. There was a knock on my door, and I got up to find Corey. Here we go again.


	10. Hanging On!

I opened the door wider, allowing him to come in. He smiled.

"How are you today?"

"I'm okay, and you?" I asked. He smiled.

"I'm good. I missed your company, figured I'd come see how you were." He told me.

"That's sweet. What have you been up too?"

"Nothing much. Jesse was here the other day, so I hung out with him. You know him, right?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, Jesse and I go way back." I told him. I had flashbacks of all our days at the academy. Then, the memory of Jesse and I making-out in the activity room, and Dimitri finding us came to mind. I smiled slightly as I looked down, remembering how mad he was. Thinking back on it now, I realized it was more than just him finding me out of my room when I was on lock down; it was much more than that. I sighed.

"You two went to school together?" He asked.

"We did."

"He's a good guy." He told me. It was then I remembered the time he'd tried to hurt Lissa, when he'd wanted her to join his cult. I remember how angry I'd been. That had been my first sincere run in with darkness. It wasn't something I ever wanted to experience again after that night. That was also the night I gave myself to Dimitri, fully and completely. That would always be the best night of my life, and a night I'll hold in my heart forever. It was the last happy memory I had with him. I know that I'll cherish it for the rest of my life.

"Yeah, he's great." I lied smoothly. He smiled at me.

"So, what have you been up too?" He asked. I quickly started making things up.

"I've been hanging out with Lissa. She's planning some sort of royal party for the queen, and I've been helping her out. I've also been visiting with Adrian. I haven't seen him very much since I returned." I told him.

"Have you seen Dimitri lately?" He asked.

"Unfortunately." I muttered. He chuckled.

"Still not going so great for you two?"

"It'll never be 'going great' for us." I told him. He shrugged and made a face. It was easy to notice he wasn't very fond of Dimitri. "How do you two know each other again?"

"He guarded my Uncle Ivan."

"Oh yeah, I remember now. Dimitri was off duty whenever he was killed." I said. Corey made a really unhappy face, which caught me off guard. Usually he was all smiles, but his mood had definitely shifted with the turn the conversation had taken.

"Yeah, he was off duty." Corey said. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Corey blamed Dimitri. I thought about asking, but decided against it.

"What was he like then? Dimitri… I mean?"

"He was the same. He didn't talk much. He was Ivan's best friend." He told me. I nodded. Dimitri had told me that him and Ivan had been close. I remember feeling so horrible when Dimitri told me about Ivan and him. It made me realize that I had really taken Lissa and I's friendship for granted. I got up, and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"Would you like a drink?" I asked. He shook his head.

"I should probably be going." He said, standing. "Hey… I have a question though."

"Shoot." I told him, walking back into my living room.

"So, this royal party that's coming up. Would you do me the honor of being my date?" He asked. I shouldn't have expected anything less. I was stupid to have not seen this coming.

"I'm not even for sure that I'm going yet, but I'll get back to you." I told him. He smiled, seeming to be perfectly okay with my answer.

"Okay… thanks. Look, I'll see you around, Rose."

"Bye Corey." I said, as he walked out of my door. I looked out my window to see it becoming light outside. I sighed, and grabbed a pair of shoes, heading out to the back deck. When I got there, I jumped up onto the railing, laying my back against the wall, watching the sun come up over the mountains. It was beautiful. The view was definitely something I'd missed about court when I was away. As I sat there, I was thinking about Corey and what he'd said about Dimitri and Ivan. His reactions to things were very serious. He must have been close to his uncle as well. I wondered if he really did blame Dimitri for Ivan's death. It wasn't Dimitri's fault. If anything, I knew that much. Listen to me, sticking up for the guy. I sighed. I sat there, thinking about everything that had been said between Dimitri and I over the past few days I'd been back. I knew it wasn't going to get any better. I knew now that he wasn't going to give up. He was going to keep trying. Now that I'd explained to him what his giving up had done to me, I knew he wouldn't do it again. I got up, and went back inside, heading down to the gym. When I got there, I pulled out a boxing dummy, and just lost control. I definitely needed to take out some of the pent up aggression I had. Before long, my hands became numb only making me hit the dummy with more force. I heard the door open behind me, but I didn't turn. I continued wailing on the piece of fabric. When I finally became curious, I turned to find Dimitri standing in the doorway.

"Shouldn't have expected anyone else. Who else would come to the gym at this hour?" It was rhetorical but he answered anyway.

"I'm only here because I couldn't sleep." He told me. I didn't know what to say, so my I came up with a genius reply.

"Oh." _I'm an idiot. _He just nodded. He walked over to the treadmill, and started it at a light jog. When he started running, I became distracted. It was like we were back at the academy all over again. Dimitri's grace had always been something foreign to me. I'd never been able to understand how someone that big could be so graceful. It was like watching a skilled dancer. The grace was staggering. I watched as he ran faster and faster until he was in an all out sprint. When he stopped, and turned to me, I'd been caught looking.

"What?" He finally asked. I shook my head.

"Nothing." I said, before turning back to the dummy, and swinging on it. It was then I felt a hand lay on my hip. I jumped and froze where I was.

"You're doing it wrong. When you throw a punch, you're throwing too much of your body into it. You're going to throw your arm or your hip out at a young age. I know that's not the way I taught you." He said. I stepped away from him, so his hand was no longer on my body.

"I can put more force behind it-." I started, but he shook his head.

"You're going to hurt yourself trying to throw punches like that. You'll take yourself out instead of the strigoi taking you out." He told me. I growled.

"A strigoi won't ever take me out."

"You seem so sure." He said.

"I am."

"I was too, and you know what happened to me." He told me, his face going grave for a second. I looked away from him then, thinking back to that night in the caves, watching that strigoi take him down, and knowing I couldn't save him. I frowned.

"I tried to go back for you." I whispered, my voice barely audible.

"I know you did. I knew you would try. I was scared you'd actually make it back to where I was. I was afraid you'd be killed. I was glad you didn't come back for me." I shook my head.

"I could have saved you."

"No, you would have been killed." He informed me.

"I would have been okay with that. I would have died with you."

"I wouldn't have been okay with that, not at all. I wouldn't have allowed it." He snapped at me.

"I told you I would have given up everything for you."

"Could you have imagined what that would have done to Lissa? To Adrian? Think of how crushed they would have been." He told me. I had thought about that. That'd been the first thing that ran through my mind. Keep in mind that I still tried to get back into the cave to save him.

"I didn't care. I would have given up everything for you. There were so many nights I sat up and wished I could have taken your place in those caves." I told him.

"I don't know if I would have had the courage to do for you, what you did for me."

"I would have never asked you too." I admitted. He looked over at the gloves and mitts.

"Want to spar?" He asked me. I hesitated, not sure if it was a good idea, but decided what the hell. We grabbed the gloves, and took our stances. He went first like he always did. I blocked. I swung, and he blocked. This went on for a few minutes before I spoke.

"Are you going to the royal party next week?"

"Of course… Why? Are you in need of a date?" He asked, the innuendo in there.

"No, I actually already have a date." He made a face, and swung a punch, catching me in the shoulder.

"Point." He spat. I narrowed my eyes. I feigned jumping into another box, but didn't, and punched him in the stomach. I smirked.

"Point." I said, sarcastically. He shook his head. "What's the matter?"

"Who's your date?"

"Jealous?" I asked.

"Answer the question." He snapped.

"I'm going with Corey."

"Zeklos?" I nodded once. He made a disgusted face, and shook his head as he made his next move, which I blocked.

"What is there something wrong with him?" I asked. He just shook his head again. I nodded.

"Don't be jealous. You can't expect me to go to this party alone."

"I didn't expect you to go alone. You deserve a date." He said.

"And you naturally thought that would be you. Come on; let's be real here, Belikov." I said.

"No… I knew it wouldn't be me. I'm not an idiot. I figured it would be Adrian. I wouldn't have minded that so much."

"Why? Because you think Adrian has no shot with me?"

"No… Are you saying Corey does?" He asked me. I shook my head.

"I'm done discussing this with you." I said, as I connected a punch to his stomach. "Point." He cringed, and swung. I feigned to the left and jumped to the right, making him miss me completely. I swung again and he blocked. "I don't want to go to this party at all. I have no choice though."

"Why?" He asked, bitter edge to his voice.

"Lissa. I'm not leaving her there alone."

"She won't be alone. She has Christian and me." He said.

"You're just trying to get me not to go, so you won't have to see me and Corey together."

"Is it working?" He asked.

"No… Nice try though." I said, dryly. He frowned. "I'm leaving. I'm tired." I finally said. I dropped the gloves onto the mat, and started to walk away; when I heard his footsteps come towards me. I knew what he was going to do, what he was trying to pull. I quickly feigned away from his attack. When I was turned facing him, he smiled.

"I told you, I have to beat you."

"It's not going to happen, Belikov. Forget it." I told him. He crouched down, and smirked.

"Let's find out, Roza." My heart lurched.

"You'll be disappointed Comrade." He moved in, and I faked him out, connected a kick to his legs. He maneuvered out of it, and then it began. We began using our best moves and skills, trying to out maneuver the other. It was hard, keeping up with Dimitri. His legs were longer, so one of his strides matched two or three of mine. Before long, we were both pouring sweat. It was a draw; neither of us could take down the other. I finally realized what I could do to win. He landed a kick to my stomach, and I cringed and keeled over, pretending to be in pain.

"Oh God, Roza… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-." He was cut off by me kicking his legs out from under him, and trying to take him down. Unfortunately, he anticipated it, and rolled, putting him on top of me. I tried to roll my weight, but I couldn't do it. I fought his hands, keeping them away from my chest, but I was weak and tired. I wasn't going down without a fight though. He knew that. It was then he leaned down, and kissed me. The movement was so quick; I had no idea what was happening, until his lips were on mine. The moment it happened, I melted into it. He ran his hands down my arms, bringing my hands up over my head. _What am I doing? Why am I allowing this? _I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't force myself to push him away. When he pulled away, he released my hands, and laid them over my chest. He'd won.

"Get off me." I whispered, the words coming out more like I was begging. He sat up on his knee's allowing me to sit up. I felt defeated. Not because he'd actually beat me, but because I'd fallen into that trap, because I'd let him kiss me, and I'd kissed him back. _God, _I'm so stupid. I looked up and met his eyes again. I could see regret. He knew what he'd just done to me, and I could see he felt back about it. I felt a tear leak down my face. He stood up, and so did I. I could see the desperation in his eyes. He kept trying to control his emotions, trying to use his guardian mask to hide it all. A second tear ran down my face.

"Roza." He started.

"I hate you Dimitri Belikov." I snapped, before I reached up, and brought his mouth back to mine. I couldn't help myself. He pushed me back a few steps, until my back was against the wall. He pressed his body against mine, keeping me pinned there as he reached up and ran his hands through my hair, holding me close. When I pulled away, I shook my head. I pushed him back, giving me space to breathe. I met his gaze, and wiped the tears away. "Why can't I hate you? Why can't I give up on you the way you gave up on me? Why do I still care?" I asked, rhetorically. I frowned. "I'm sorry." I finally said, before running for the door, leaving him standing there confused and alone.


	11. Somewhere Love Remains!

**DIMITRI'S POV**

I stood there in the gym, completely lost. I'd watched as the love of my life lost any and all composure she'd had left. I didn't know what to do. I debated on following her, trying to do something, anything to make her feel better, but I knew once again, nothing I could say would help. If anything, I would only make it worse. It's usually how it worked. We'd started off so good. We'd been having a semi-civil conversation, and then… I had to go and ruin it by kissing her. I reached up and touched my lips. I could still taste her there. I stood there for a minute, staring at the door. A part of me was hoping, praying she'd come running back in and throw herself in my arms, but I knew Rose better than that. I knew that was never going to happen, even if she could find it in her heart to forgive me. I was finally starting to realize that maybe I had actually lost her forever. Maybe this was the end of us. Maybe there was nothing I could do to make it better, nothing I could say to make it right. She was gone now. I felt the weight crushing me now. I took a few steps forward, staring at the door. It was then that I lost it. I slammed my fist against the brick wall, ignoring the excruciating pain it caused when I heard the bones in my hand pop and snap. I felt the tears of agony now running down my face. I started out of the gym, and across court going back to my room. When I was safely inside of my room, I lost it, slinging things every which way, tearing my room apart as I took out all the aggression and anger I had for myself. Finally, I gave up… hitting my knees in the center of my room. I'd never really cried, but in this moment I found myself sobbing. I closed my eyes, and cried myself into unconsciousness.

**ROSE'S POV**

The moment I was out of the gym, I found myself heading for the front doors of court, knowing there was no way I'd be able to make it to my room without being noticed by someone. The moment the sun hit my face, the tears began streaming down my face like a waterfall. I didn't know what to do. How was I supposed to hate him? How was I supposed to give up on him, when he was everywhere? How was I supposed to move on when he was everything I'd ever wanted and more? How was I supposed to walk away from that? I stared up into the sky, wondering why God felt the need to put me through this hell. It was then that I realized that he loved to watch me squirm. I'd killed so many, and felt no remorse. Regardless of them being undead, I'd killed. I put my head in my hands, and let out a hard sob that shook my entire body. I heard the door open behind me, but I was scared to turn around, scared of who I'd find.

"Rose?" I heard. _Corey. _What the hell was he doing awake at this hour? The moroi world should have been asleep.

"What?" I murmured, trying to hide the fact that I was crying, although I was pretty sure he'd just seen the hard sob that had rocked through me.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Corey… Please, just go." I murmured. I heard his footsteps approach. Of course he wasn't going to listen. He was too much of a gentleman for that.

"Are you sure?" He asked. I felt his hand touch my arm. I turned then to find his face full of concern. My face was probably streaked with black from my make-up, and I probably looked like I hadn't slept in weeks. I shook my head.

"No… I'm not sure, because I'm not okay." I whispered. It was the first time I'd ever admitted it to anyone. It felt good, but at the same time, it put a weight on my heart that I wasn't sure how to deal with. He grabbed me, and pulled me into a hug, allowing me to sob into his shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his neck, as he wound his around my waist. I wasn't sure how long we'd stood there, before I forced myself away.

"I'm sorry. I just ruined your shirt." I mumbled, wiping my face. He shook his head, and smiled.

"I'm not worried about my shirt. I'm worried about you. What happened?" He asked. I just looked away. I wasn't sure how to begin to explain what had happened. I just shook my head. Another set of tears started streaming down my face. "Hey… Shhh, you don't have to tell me. I'm sorry."

"No… It's not your fault. Don't apologize." I told him, sniffling. I could see him getting really uncomfortable out here in the sunshine. Moroi weren't very fond of the sunshine, being vampires and all. "I need to go, and you need to get inside. What are you doing up anyway?" I asked, wiping my face. He shrugged.

"I was with Jesse and some friends, hanging out. I was heading back to my room when I saw you come out here. I was worried." He told me.

"Come on…" I said, taking his hand, and leading him back inside. He relaxed the moment we were sheltered by courts roof. "You shouldn't have come out there. You know sunshine is bad for you."

"I didn't care. I was worried. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Thanks." I murmured. I started to walk away when he called after me.

"Are you going to be okay by yourself?"

"I'll manage." I whispered, before walking away.

"Hey, maybe I should come with you. You know… to keep you company. Keep your mind off whatever it is that's got you so upset." He tried. I turned back to him and smiled slightly, hoping it looked genuine, because I meant the next words I said.

"That'd mean a lot to me." I murmured. He smiled as he walked over to me, and laced his arm through mine, as we walked back to my room. When I got there, I sighed and shut the door.

"Make yourself at home." I said, as I walked over and sat down on the couch. I put my head in my hands and shook my head, trying to pull myself together. I felt him sit down next to me, and put his hand on my back.

"If you need to talk, I'm here."

"I don't know what to do anymore. I'm starting to think coming back was a mistake." I whispered, rubbing my face.

"I'd have to disagree. If you wouldn't have come back, I would have never met you." He murmured. I looked up at him out of the corner of my eye, and smiled slightly.

"That would have sucked for you, huh?" I teased. He chuckled.

"Ouch." He said, feigning to be hurt. I sighed. He sat back and pulled me over to lay my head on his chest. I cuddled into him, and sighed as the tears continued to stream.

"I don't know what I'm going to do." I whispered.

"You'll figure it out. You're smart."

"Not when it comes to things like this." I mumbled as I wiped my face. "I'm an idiot when it comes to things like this. When it comes to what's best for me, I haven't got a clue. When it comes to what's best for other people, I always know. I'm a wreck."

"You're not a wreck… You're just… a fender bender." He tried. I turned to look up at him.

"Nice try." I muttered. He chuckled.

"I'm taking it that this has something to do with Belikov, correct?"

"Everything in my life has to do with him." I whispered, defeated. There wasn't any way around it anymore. My life revolved around him, regardless of how much I wanted to think otherwise.

"You love him." He said. He wasn't asking. He was stating it.

"More than anything."

"Then why aren't you with him?" He asked.

"It's a long, drawn out story, that I don't think I'm capable of discussing." I murmured. He just nodded, as he ran a hand through my hair, twirling it around his fingers.

"You have beautiful hair."

"Thank you." I mumbled. He chuckled.

"Things will eventually get better for you, Rose. They can't stay bad, like this. It's impossible. You're to amazing of a person for them to stay this way." He said.

"I'd like to believe that, but I doubt it's true. I don't think things are ever going to get better. I might have to ditch again. I'm starting to think it's the only way I'm going to get on with my life."

"I'd be sad if you left." He informed me.

"I can't leave Adrian and Lissa again though. They're the only things holding me here now." I murmured. He nodded.

"You love them too. They're your world as well. If you in this much pain and you stay because of them… you must really love them."

"I do. They're everything to me. I left them twice before. I don't think I can do it a third time." I told him.

"You'll do the right thing, I'm sure. Just promise me something?"

"What?"

"Promise you won't leave until you've let me accompany you to the party next week." I couldn't help but chuckle. He was seriously wanting to go to this party with me, and I hadn't even fully agreed to it yet. I just smiled.

"I promise." I finally said. He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. I snuggled closer into him, and felt myself slowly slipping into unconsciousness. I tried to keep my eyes open, but it wasn't working.

"Get some rest, Rose. I'll be here when you wake up." He assured me. He wrapped his arms around me, and held me close, as I allowed myself to give into the exhaustion.


	12. BackUp!

When I woke the next morning, I expected to still be strewn out across Corey's chest, but when I opened my eyes, I realized I was on the couch alone. I heard my door open, and close. I looked up, and rubbed my eyes to see Corey walk in with two cups of coffee. He smiled at me.

"Hey sleeping beauty." He murmured, looking at me as if he were waiting on me to lose it again. I honestly doubted that I could cry anymore. I think my tear ducts had ran dry after last night. I also doubted beauty wasn't the word I'd use to describe how I probably looked right now.

"Hey." I croaked, my voice still thick with sleep.

"How are you feeling?"

"I've been better." I finally said, after sitting up. He smiled.

"I'd wager so. I went down and got you some coffee. I figured you might need a pick me up after last night." He said. I smiled.

"Thanks Corey." I said, taking the cup from him. He nodded and sat down next to me. He placed a hand on my knee.

"You think you'll be okay today?"

"I don't know." I admitted. "I guess I'll find out later." I took a drink of the coffee and set the cup on my table. I turned to him, and smiled. "Thank you for staying with me last night. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here." He shrugged.

"It wasn't a problem. I was happy I could help. If you need me, you know I'm here for you."

"Thank you." He smiled, and kissed my forehead.

"I'm going to go, because I'm in dire need of a shower and clothing change now that you've cried and snotted all over my shirt. Think you'll be alright?" He asked. I narrowed my eyes at him, and nodded.

"I'm sorry about your shirt."

"I was teasing. I'll just wash it two or three times, just to be safe." He teased. I shook my head at him as he got up. "I'll see you around, Hathaway."

"Bye Corey." I said, as he walked out my door. Here I was, once again… alone. I finished my cup of coffee, and went to get a shower. I was in dire need of one after being at the gym yesterday. I had to scrub the dried tears and mascara off my face, which was a very difficult task. When I got out of the shower, I sat down on my couch, not sure what to do. Yesterday had been a disaster, but I was determined not to let today be the same. I debated on what to do, knowing I had to stay far away from him if it was going to be even a semi-good day. It was then I realized that I needed to get the hell out of the place for a little while. I knew just the person who could help me with that too. I slipped on my shoes, and headed out across court to the Ivashkov wing. When I knocked on his door, it took a few minutes before he answered. He looked like he'd just woken up, which didn't surprise me at all.

"Hey there, little dhampir. What a lovely surprise this early in the morning."

"Adrian, darling… It's almost one o' clock." I told him. He sighed.

"I must have slept in." He said, as if he hadn't realized it. I laughed.

"Look… I need to get the hell out of this place for a little while, and I was wondering if you wanted to go out."

"Are you asking me out on a… a date, Ms. Hathaway?"

"No, I'm asking you to go somewhere with me, so I don't feel like an idiot leaving alone." I said. He didn't seem as excited when I put it like that. "And you're not exactly the worst company in the world." I mended. He chuckled.

"Where are we going?"

"Anywhere but here." I told him. He smiled.

"I'd love to go with you. Let me change and we'll ditch this place for a little while."

"Thank you, Adrian." I said.

"Not a problem, little dhampir. You're not exactly the worst company either, and you're definitely easy on the eyes, so I don't mind." He told me. I rolled my eyes as I walked in and sat down, waiting on him to get ready. When he finally came out, he smiled.

"You ready?" I asked. He nodded.

"Are you sure it's okay? Just us leaving? Do we need another guardian?"

"Are you questioning my ability to take care of you?" I asked, attempting to raise an eyebrow, but failing horribly. He shook his head automatically.

"No, I'm not… I'm just not used to leaving court without more than one-." I cut him off.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Adrian. Cool your jets and let's go." I said. He chuckled, and nodded, following me downstairs. I grabbed the keys to one of the courts vans, and headed out to it.

"So where are we going, little dhampir?"

"I was thinking the mall. I need a dress for the party anyway, and I figured you'd love to watch me try dresses on." I said. He looked over at me, with raised eyebrows.

"You bet your sweet ass I would." I laughed, and for the first time in awhile it was actually genuine.

"Good. That means this trip won't be dull." He chuckled. It was silent for a few minutes before he turned back to me.  
>"So, you don't normally wake up and want to leave court, so… what happened last night that made you need to get out?" I sighed, knowing I'd have to tell him at one point or another.<p>

"Dimitri and I-."

"How did I know that's how this story was going to start? Rose, why don't you two just stay away from each other? It'd be much less painful for the both of you." He said.

"It's easier said than done. We always end up running into each other somehow, and when we do… things start out fine, and then they slowly get more fucked up and fucked up until one of us is in tears, and the other is running away."

"Which ones running?" He asked. I kept my eyes fixated on the road.

"Me." He didn't say anything else. When we got to the mall, I jumped out of the van and headed in. When we got inside, Adrian turned to me.

"Do you have a date for the party?"

"I actually do."I said.

"Don't tell me-." He started. I chuckled.

"No, it isn't Dimitri. I'm going with Corey Zeklos."

"I've heard there are some new Zeklos kids hanging around court. I haven't seen any of em' though." He told me. I shrugged.

"I met Corey on my first or second day back. He's a nice guy, and he asked me. I wasn't going to tell him no." I said. He nodded.

"You could have gone with me though. I don't have a date." He said.

"You didn't ask." I told him. He sighed.

"Once again, I'm missing out due to miscommunication." I rolled my eyes. We walked into Forever 21, and I began looking through racks of dresses. Adrian followed me around as I held some in my arms. When I finally went to the dressing room, he stood against the wall, waiting. The first three I tried on, I didn't like. Adrian said one of them made me look like an ompa loompa. I threw my shoe at him. He had a snide little comment for every dress that he didn't like. For the ones he did like, he'd tell me how good that dress would look laying on the floor next to his bed. I'd roll my eyes, and go change. The last store we went into, I had three dresses. One was red, one blue, and one purple with black accents. The red one was too long. I had great legs, and I didn't like wearing long dresses that hid them. The blue one was pretty, but it made my torso look frumpy, so it was down to the purple one. When I tried it on, I decided not to look in the mirror. I opened the door and stepped out; waiting on Adrian to make a comment about me looking like Barney because of the color, but that wasn't the reaction I go. Actually, I got no reaction at all, other than his jaw hitting the floor.

"Is it that bad?" I asked.

"Little dhampir, you look… incredible."

"You like this one?" I asked. He nodded.

"You look amazing in that dress." He told me. I turned to the large guilt frame mirror and realized that he'd been right. The dress was beautiful, and it hugged my body in all the perfect spots.

"I love it." I murmured. He chuckled.

"I think you found your party dress."

"Me too." I told him. I walked over to the mirror and pirouetted around once, and grinned. "I'm getting it." I went back into the dressing room, and put my clothes back on, before taking the dress to the counter, and paying for it. We went walking around the mall, laughing and having a good time, when we decided to go get dinner.

"Chinese, right?"

"Of course. I can't believe you just asked me that." I said, pretending to be appalled. He smiled.

"You're a mess Hathaway." He told me. I knew he meant it in a joking way, but it was true in more ways than one. I was a mess and I knew it. It worried me to no end that I was eventually going to fall off the slippery slope I'd been playing on the for the past week. If it wasn't for Adrian, and Corey, and Lissa… I would have fallen off long ago.

"I know, but you still love me anyway." I said, pretending the comment hadn't affected me. He smiled as we sat down at the food court. As we ate, he looked up at me.

"So, have you decided whether you're staying at court, or are you waiting on the right time to ditch again?" He asked. I sighed.

"I honestly don't know yet." I admitted.

"I don't want you to leave."

"I know you don't. No one wants me to leave, but…" He just nodded.

"I know it's difficult for you, Rose." He said.

"Difficult would be an understatement." I told him.

"I can't even begin to fathom what it is your going through, but you know that Lissa, Christian, that all of us will respect whatever decision you make. I knew when you came back that it was possible you'd be leaving again. I'm waiting on the day I wake up and hear that you've run off again."

"He'd come after me." I said, simply. Adrian nodded.

"Without a doubt." He said, stuffing his mouth full of noodles. I sighed.

"Either way, I'm fucked." I finally said, knowing there was no escape this time.

"I doubt Lissa could talk him into giving up this time."

"I still don't understand why she talked him into it the first time." I finally said.

"I don't understand how she got him to agree. He was so set on finding you when you disappeared. He was ready to follow you. He had me giving him money to buy plane tickets." He told me. I felt there was something sincerely strange about the whole thing.

"Wow." I murmured. He nodded.

"So, this Corey guy… If that date falls through, I'd be happy to escort you. Especially wearing that." He said, motioning to my bag. I giggled.

"At least I have a back up date." I said. He nodded.

"You'll always have a back up date in me."

"Good to know." I told him. After we finished eating, we went back to the van and headed back to court. It wasn't something I was exactly thrilled about, but with a new dress, and some new found confidence now that I'd been out of this place for awhile. Adrian walked me to my room, and hugged me.

"Thank you for coming with me."

"Thank you for asking me to come. I had fun." He said, smirking. I chuckled.

"Love you kid." I said, ruffling his hair. He made a face as he ran a hand through his normally messy hair.

"Love you too little dhampir." He said, before starting to walk away. He turned back to me, as I unlocked my door. "By the way, save me a dance at this party."

"You've got it." I told him, as I walked inside. I took the dress into my room, and hung it in my closet. I went back into the living room, and poured myself a stiff drink. I sat down on the couch with my glass, and sighed. I guess this was the first decent day I'd had since I'd returned, which wasn't saying much, seeing as how it hadn't happened here. Then, there was a knock on the door that completely changed that.


	13. Lost!

I was honestly scared to open the door, afraid of what or who would be waiting on the other side. I'd had a semi-good day and I was not ready to have it ruined by whoever was on the other side of my door. When I opened my door, I was staring into a set of familiar brown eyes. They weren't the set you'd be expecting though.

"Hey there, Roza." She said. I couldn't help the mixed feelings that spread over me.

"Viktoria!" She smiled, jumping into my arms. I held her close for a second, before releasing her. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, and to see my brother. I couldn't stand knowing he was restored, and I had no guarantee I'd ever see him again. Your father actually paid for my plane ticket here." She told me. I nodded. I hadn't seen or heard from Abe since my trials. I wondered what he was up too. Obviously he'd gone back to Russia.

"How generous of him." I said, almost sarcastically. I wondered if she'd caught it, but soon realized she hadn't by her still chipper mood.

"It's so good to see you again, Rose. It feels like it's been forever." She told me. This was true. Out of all the Belikov sisters, Viktoria and I had been the ones to hit it off the most. I did miss her company, even though she reminded me a lot of her brother.

"I know. I've missed you." She smiled.

"I've missed you too." She told me. "So, do you know where my brother is? I'd like to see him." I sighed, knowing I'd have to take her to him.

"He's probably in his room. Come on… I'll take you to him." I said. We started downstairs to the guardian wing, and I knocked on his door. There was no answer, no movement from inside at all. That was strange. I cracked his door, knowing he left it unlocked.

"Dimitri?" I called. There was nothing. I opened the door to see that he wasn't inside. I sighed. Of course I'd have to go looking for him. I went down to the gym, to the pool, to Lissa, everywhere I could think… but I couldn't find him. I suddenly became worried. Dimitri didn't normally disappear like this. I think Viktoria sensed my unease.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just don't know where he's at. I'll go ask the guardian desk." I told her. When I reached the desk, I asked if Guardian Belikov had been around. She told me that Dimitri had a meeting with Hans, but he didn't show up for it. Instantly, my heart went into overdrive, wondering where he was. He didn't miss things like that. He hadn't before.

"Rose, is something going on? Where's my brother?" She asked. I looked down, defeated.

"I honestly don't know. Look, why don't you just wander around, see if you can find him. If not, I'll meet you back at my place." I told her. She looked at me incredulously, knowing I was holding out on her.

"Rose, what's going on with my brother?"

"Look, I'll explain everything as soon as I find him. I'm worried, Viktoria. Let me find him." I said. She nodded, and turned, walking away. When she left, I started in the opposite direction, wondering where the hell he could be. I checked outside, I asked the guardians at the gates if he'd left, I even checked the wards, but he was nowhere to be found. I then went to Adrian, wondering if he'd seen him, and he hadn't. I then checked the last place I thought to look, the one place I hadn't been. I walked into the bar, looking around for him. It was then that I found him sitting at the bar. I guess the whole story about things being in the last place you'd look was true. I walked over to him, not sure how to approach the situation.

"Dimitri…" He turned to me, causing me to gasp. He looked like he hadn't slept, and he was so hammered he barely could turn in his stool without falling off of it. _Oh boy_.

"Hey there, beautiful."

"What are you doing here?" I asked him. He shrugged and held up a glass.

"Numbing the pain." He answered honestly.

"You're sisters here." I told him. He smiled.

"Where is she? She can have a drink with me." He slurred.

"You're sister is under-age, therefore… she can't. Come on, let's get you home." I told him.

"You need to loosen up. You're so uptight. I remember a time when you were so much fun. I don't know what happened." He said, chuckling and taking another swig of whatever it was he was drinking. I snatched the glass out of his hand.

"It's because I grew up. I'm not the same girl, Dimitri."

"I'll say. It would have been a lot easier to get you back if you were." He said, stumbling out of his barstool. I caught him before he could fall to the floor, which would have been extremely difficult getting him back up.

"Come on, let's get you back to your room."

"I wanna go back to your room." He protested.

"Your sisters there and I have a lot to explain to her. I don't need you there interrupting that." I told him.

"I want to see my sister." He said. I took his face in my hands, meeting his eyes.

"You're drunk, and I'm tired. I have an angry and suspicious Belikov back in my room waiting for me, and I don't need you there right now. You'll see your sister as soon as you sober up." I told him. I felt like a mother, scolding her child. I know realized what it was like dealing with a drunk. It wasn't fun. He tried to lean forward and kiss me, but I held him tighter, preventing him from doing it. He frowned.

"Roza, please."

"Dimitri, let's go." I said. He just nodded, as I wrapped my arm around his waist, to help support him. When I got him back to his room, I helped him over to the couch. When I went to release him, he grabbed me, pulling me onto him. I stopped myself from falling completely on top of him by placing my hands on the back of the couch. His mouth was just inches away from mine, and I was extremely tempted to kiss him. You don't know how bad I wanted to, but the smell of alcohol on his breath reminded me that it wasn't in my best interest, nor was it in his.

"Kiss me, Roza."

"No." I said, instantly, trying to stand up. He wouldn't let me go.

"Please… I'll behave if you kiss me… just once." He begged. I met his eyes, and felt my eyes traveling down his face.

"Let me go, Dimitri."

"You can't tell me you don't want to kiss me. I know better." He said.

"I don't want to kiss you while you're drunk. Please, let me go." I said. He released me, and allowed me to stand up.

"You don't want to kiss me." He murmured, his face falling. I felt horrible the moment I saw his face, even though I knew he was drunk. It broke my heart. I walked over and took his face in my hands.

"I need you to sober up. Your sister is going to want to see you." I told him.

"I can't see her like this." He whispered, defeated. He looked away from me, obviously embarrassed at himself.

"Hey… she's your sister. She's not going to judge you for getting drunk. You can do what you-."

"It's not that. It's the fact that I ran to the alcohol." He murmured, still avoiding my gaze.

"Why'd you go to the bar tonight?" I asked him, taking a step closer to him. My heart sped up as I stood before him. He looked down at his hands in his lap.

"Because… I've lost you forever." He whispered, the words barely audible. It was in that moment that my entire world came tumbling in around me.

"Dimitri, I…" He shook his head.

"Don't try telling me that I haven't either, because I know I have. I deserve it, and I know that." He told me. I stared at him, not sure what to do. I quickly walked into his bathroom, and grabbed some aspirin, and took them to him. I gave him a glass of water, and sighed.

"I have to go talk to your sister."

"You can tell her." He murmured.

"Tell her what?" I asked him, confused.

"About this… about everything. She should be upset with me. She has every right to be." He told me. I shook my head.

"Just take those, and sober up. You'll feel better in the morning, and I'll bring her by to see you." I told him. He just nodded once."Hey… stop being so down."

"I don't have any reason to be happy anymore, Rose. Just forget it. Tell Viktoria to come see me in the morning." He said. I nodded and started to leave. I cast one last glance at him, to see him toying with the aspirin in his hand, not making a move to take them. I could see in his body language that he was seriously hurt, and to be honest… I shouldn't have cared. I should have walked out, and went to his sister and told her how much of an insensitive ass her brother was, but I couldn't find it in me to do it. Instead, I turned and walked over to him, pulling his face up to look at me.

"As much as I wish I could say you have lost me forever, I can't say it." I murmured. I then kissed him. I could tell it caught him off guard, but he then gave into it, his lips enthusiastic on mine. When I pulled away, I ran a hand through his hair. "By the way, getting wasted at a bar, and telling people how much I don't deserve them is my thing… lay off." I said, before walking away from him. When I reached the door, he called after me.

"I love you, Roza." I didn't know how to reply, so I simply looked at him and smiled.

"I know." I then walked out, leaving him there alone. When I got back to my room, Viktoria was on the couch, obviously beside herself.

"Where have you been? You've been gone forever, did you find him?" She asked.

"I did find him. He's at home, sleeping right now. He said you can come by in the morning." I told her. She looked seriously concerned.

"What happened? Where was he? Is he okay?" She asked, bombarding me with questions. I smiled.

"He's fine. He's had a bit too much to drink, and needs to rest. He'll be fine in the morning. Just give him some time." I said.

"So, what's going on with him, why was he drunk?" She asked, eyeing me. It was then that I jumped into explaining everything that had happened since my return and what had happened while I'd been gone. When I finally finished, she frowned.

"You two have been through a lot." She murmured.

"A lot is an understatement."

"Things will get better for you guys." She assured me. "You guys are good people. They can't stay this way for you, forever. You guys don't deserve that." I just nodded.

"I'm going to go. I'm tired from my trip. I'll see you tomorrow." She said. I nodded, as she got up and walked out. I assumed my father had made living arrangements for her stay as well. I got up, and walked into my kitchen, grabbing a bag of chips. I sat down at my counter and began stuffing my face. When I finally realized that I was too tired to sit any longer, I quickly went into my bedroom and changed, crawling into bed. It wasn't long before Adrian entered my dreams.

"Did you find him?" He asked me. I nodded once.

"I did."

"Where was he?" He asked. I sighed, shaking my head.

"The last place I thought to look." I admitted. He raised an eyebrow.

"The bar?" He guessed. I nodded.

"Should have seen that coming. The boy is to straight and narrow. He needs to live a little."

"Well, he did tonight. I had to take him home." I told him. He then gave me a once over, as if he were looking for some fault to see my resolve cracking. He didn't find it.

"Are you okay?" He finally asked. I nodded.

"I'm fine." I assured him. He nodded.

"Good, I'm glad." He said. I smiled.

"Thank you for going with me today."

"It wasn't a problem. I had fun with you. I've missed times like that with you." He told me. I grinned.

"Me too." I hugged him, before the dream world faded, and I fell into my own set of dreams, created by my mind alone.


	14. Breaking Your Own Heart!

_I ran my hands through his hair, clutching it in my hands as I pulled myself closer and closer to him. God, he was just too beautiful to be real. I pressed kisses down his throat, causing his head to loll back. I ran a hand underneath his shirt, working it up as I ran my hands up his perfect chest. I pulled it over his head, causing him to make an agitated sound as our lips separated. I giggled as he roughly pulled my mouth back to his, attacking me with lavish kisses that I felt like I'd gone an eternity without. He pulled my shirt off over my head, running his hands down my body, exploring every plain that had been hidden to him for so long. I couldn't help the sigh that left my lips. He then replaced his hands with his lips, kissing his way down my body, between my breasts, and down my stomach to the snap on my jeans. He undid them, and pulled them away from me, tossing them onto the floor beside my bed. He then kissed his way back up my body, stopping right over the lace material of my bra. I felt my eyes roll back into my head a little. I grabbed his face, and roughly brought his mouth back to mine. I shifted my weight and rolled us over, putting me on top of him. I smiled down at him as I slowly made my way down his body to his pants. I undid the snap and with a little help from him they were on the floor, added to the pile as well. Staring down at him now, it was hard to believe he was actually mine, mine and no one else's. He ran his hands up my back, toying with the snap on my bra. He flicked it with his finger, and the cloth fell away from me. He slowly pulled it away, as if he were reveling in each second we had together. He placed his hands on my neck, and ran his hands all the way down my body, marveling at the feel of his skin on mine. _

"_You're beautiful." He murmured softly. I smiled down at him. _

"_Only for you." He rolled us back over, putting himself on top of me once again. I knew he liked to be in control, and for the most part, I did too. There were only certain times I liked to be in charge, and in the bedroom wasn't always one of them. He slipped a finger inside of my lace panties, stretching the fabric that hugged my waist. He looked like he was contemplating something, but I wasn't sure. Next thing I knew, he'd disappeared from over top of me, and was know kneeling over my knee's at the end of the bed. He met my eyes and slowly leaned down and took the waist band of my panties in his mouth, pulling them off with only his teeth. As he slowly, and torturously dragged them down my body, his eyes stayed locked on mine, and I couldn't force my eyes away. Watching him do this was enough to make me lose all sense of control. Every time his teeth would rake over my skin, goosebumps would rise. When they were finally gone, he sat back up, taking in the full sight of me undressed. _

"_You've gotten more beautiful with each passing year." He murmured. I just smiled. I slipped a finger into the waist band of his boxers, running my fingers right over the skin just before his manhood. He groaned, and shifted his hips uneasily. I giggled. _

"_Two can play this game." I reminded him. After I got them off, his mouth was back on mine. He finally pulled away, meeting my gaze. I knew what it was he wanted. I reached up and pulled his face down to me, whispering in his ear. _

"_Make love to me, Dimitri." I whispered. _Dimitri_? What the hell was going on here? His name was like a cold bucket of water being thrown on me. What the hell was I doing?_

"_Your wish is my command."_

I sat straight up in my bed, breathing hard. My face, my entire body was drenched in sweat. I was looking around, wondering what the hell had just happened, but I knew I was dreaming. My mind like's to torture me with things like that every now and again. I sighed; slightly disappointed that it was only a dream, although you'd never get me to admit that out loud. I got up, and grabbed a change of clothes, knowing I needed a cold shower after a dream like that. The moment I got out, there was a knock on my door. _Damn it. _I wrapped a towel around me, and went to it, hiding most of my body behind the door when I opened it. Of course, there he stood.

"Rose, can I talk to you for a minute?" I debated on telling him to do it right there in the hallway, but I knew that'd be rude. I sighed.

"Yeah, come in. Just… let me get dressed." I said. I opened the door slightly, and walked away. I could feel his eyes on my back as I walked away. I heard him mutter something in Russian, but I didn't quite catch it. Not that I'd have been able to understand it, but I could have Google translated it later. I went into the bathroom, and changed into a pair of shorts and the sports bra I'd left in there, before walking out. He didn't look like my attire made it much easier for him. Although, after my dream last night, and the way I woke up this morning… It was nice to see him sweat a little. "So, what's up?"

"I just wanted to come apologize for the way I acted last night. I shouldn't have gone to the bar. I knew better. It was childish of me, and I'm sorry. Thank you, for coming and getting me, and taking me home." He said. I sighed.

"Not a problem." I told him. He was talking to me, but his eyes weren't on my face. I thought it was quite funny that I distracted him this bad.

"If I said something or did something that offended you… I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing. It's not a big deal. You got drunk… we've all done it." I told him. He sighed.

"That's beside the point. I've never ran to the alcohol before, and I don't know why I did last night. It was so… so-." I cut him off.

"So Adrian of you?" I finished. He nodded, obviously not happy with that comparison.

"I know, and I regret it. I've never been that way before." He said, his eyes still not on my face. I finally laughed.

"Dimitri, my eyes are up here." I told him, snapping my fingers in front of my face. The blush that crept to his face was the most adorable thing ever. I smirked at him.

"I'm sorry… I just-."

"I know. Dimitri, last night wasn't a big deal in the slightest. So, you got a little drunk. It's okay. You need to go see your sister." I told him.

"Does she know?" He asked.

"She knows everything." I informed him. He nodded, looking down.

"She'll be disappointed in me."

"She won't. She's your sister; she isn't going to judge you." I told him.

"But she should." He said. I sighed, and walked over to him, taking his face in my hands, much like I had last night, forcing him to look at me.

"What you did wasn't a big deal. You're hurting, and I get that. You're making yourself seem weak, and you-Dimitri Belikov- are not weak. You're one of the strongest people I know. So, you got a little drunk. It happened. You sober up and get on with your life. Your sister is worried sick about you, and you need to go see her." I told him. I watched as his eyes trailed down my face, his eyes locked on my mouth before he looked back up and met my eyes.

"You're right." He murmured, bringing his gaze back to my eyes. He placed his hands over mine on his face, and pulled them away. He looked at me then. "You kissed me last night." I just stared at him, not sure what to say. I finally nodded.

"I did." I answered simply. He smiled slightly, as if he wasn't sure it'd been real.

"Why?"

"Because… you were upset, and I didn't know what else to do." I murmured, shaking my head, trying to come up with a real reasonable excuse as to why I would do that.

"Roza… Why'd you kiss me?" He asked. I just stared at him. "Just say it… I need to hear you say it. Please?" He begged. I thought he might get on his knees.

"Because I love you… You said that you'd lost me forever, but… I can't stay away from you, Dimitri. It's impossible. I knew when I left that I'd always wind up back here. I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you, and you were drunk, so I didn't think you'd remember." I admitted. He sighed.

"Thank you." He murmured. I just nodded, not sure how to respond.

"Go see your sister." I told him.

"I am." He leaned down and kissed my forehead, letting his lips linger there for a few seconds. "Good-bye Roza."

"Bye, Dimitri." I said, as he walked out. The moment my door shut behind him, I stood there, staring at it, as if I were waiting for him to come running back in and finish off the dream I'd had this morning, but I knew it wasn't going to happen. I stood there for the longest time, before I went and grabbed my keys, heading down to the gym to take out some much needed aggression.

**DIMITRI'S POV**

When I got to her door, I hesitated. It was my own sister, and I was terrified of seeing her. It was like I was walking back into a pit of strigoi. When I finally knocked, she opened the door and I watched as this awestruck look of wonder came over her face. It was in this moment that I remembered that my family knew I'd been turned and turned back. Anything I'd done after that was trivial in comparison.

"Dimka." She murmured. I smiled.

"Hey there." I said. She latched onto me, hugging me tight. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close.

"God, I thought I'd lose you forever, Dimka. I don't know what I would have done, living my life knowing you were a strigoi. I'm so glad Roza restored you. She's amazing." She told me. My heart ached a little. I nodded in agreement.

"She is amazing. I know." I said. She opened the door wider, letting me in.

"You came home to Russia when you were turned?" She asked me. I nodded.

"I did. I was trying to get away from this place so that I didn't kill anyone I cared about here."

"What about us back at home?"

"I was in Novosibirsk. It was far enough away that I would have never run into any of you." I explained to her. She just nodded.

"Was it scary? Dying?" She asked me, a tear leaking down her face. I smiled, and shrugged.

"It's not as bad as most would think." I admitted. She just nodded.

"I'm so glad you're back."

"Me too." I told her, looking down.

"So, have you seen Rose today?" She asked me. I nodded.

"I went to her first, to apologize for last night."

"What did you do?" She asked me, giving me a look much like something my mother would have given me.

"I didn't do anything, per say. I just wanted to apologize for my childish actions." I admitted, honestly.

"What happened to you and Roza? She loves you."

"I know she does." I whispered.

"She told me what happened, what's been going on between you two since she returned." She informed me. I nodded. "You're not trying hard enough." _I lost it._

"I've been doing everything I can. I've told her I loved her. I've done everything in my power to make he see how sorry I was for how much I hurt her. I don't know what more to do." I snapped, running my hands through my hair.

"She's been gone for two years. That's given her two years to fool herself into believe that she didn't love you, that what you had meant nothing. Dimka, you have a lot of making up to do." She explained to me. I realized in that moment, that she was absolutely right. Rose had been gone for two years. That was two years that she had herself convinced that she meant nothing to me. That was two years she had herself convinced that she didn't love me. I shook my head, realizing how stupid I'd been to expect her to come back, and fall into my arms. I knew better than that from the get-go. Roza was hard-headed, and I knew that. After what I'd said to her, I didn't deserve her forgiveness quickly.

"You're right." I finally said.

"Damn right, I'm right."

"Who sent you?" I asked her, giving her a look.

"Abe paid for my trip, but Yeva said you needed me to help you… so, that's why I'm here." She told me. I shook my head, smiling as I thought of my grandmother.

"I miss them all so much."

"They miss you too. I've missed you Dimka." She said, hugging me. "I thought I'd lost you forever."

"I'm here now, and that's all that matters." I told her.

"You love her… don't you?" She murmured. It took me a second to realize we'd shifted our conversation back to Rose.

"More than anything." I answered, simply.

"You'll get her back, Dimka. You just have to want it bad enough, want her bad enough and you'll get her. I have faith in you." She told me.

"It's faith I don't deserve after what I did to her." I said, looking away.

"You're wrong. You've got to forgive yourself, in order to be forgiven by others." She told me. I remembered Rose saying something like that. "If you don't forgive yourself first, you'll just continue to break your own heart, Dimka. She needs you in her life, whether she likes to admit it or not."

"She doesn't need anyone."

"That's where you're wrong." She told me. "She needs you more than either of you actually know."

"Yeva told you this?" She nodded. "She did tell me, but I can see it for myself now."

"When did you get so wise?" I asked her.

"I grew up, Dimka." She said. I smiled. "Go find her." She told me.

"I just left her."

"I don't care. Go find her." I just nodded, not wanting to disappoint her. I started off back across court to find the love of my life.


	15. Honestly,

I was in the gym with my ear buds in and the rest of the world tuned out. I had my rock music turned up on full blast, running my heart out on the treadmill. My mind was soaring since the moment Dimitri walked out of my room this morning, and I knew I wouldn't be able to focus on anything else if I didn't come here, and get everything that was building up inside of me, out. The gym was my place to think, my place to relax, and my place to take out whatever aggression I'd been containing, and with darkness constantly boiling inside me, there was normally a lot of that. When I finally finished a good six miles on the treadmill, I stepped off and turned to find someone standing against the back wall, watching me. I only caught it out of the corner of my eye, so when I jerked around, he chuckled. I pulled my ear buds out and took a deep breath.

"God, Dimitri… what are you doing here?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I was coming to work out, actually. I didn't know you were in here." He lied. Yes, I knew him that well, that I could call his bluff on something even that simple. I nodded, not going to say anything about it, knowing he'd reveal his motive soon. I started to put my ear buds in when he spoke again. "So, talking with my sister went good." He said. I noticed he'd inched closer to me.

"Really? That's good. I tried to tell you."

"Yeah, she was just happy to see me after everything that had happened." He said. I nodded.

"Hate to say I told you so, but… you know." I said. I started to put my ear buds back in once again, when he spoke again.

"Yeah, you are normally right." He said.

"Dimitri, what the hell are you doing?" I finally asked, bluntly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why are you in here, and acting all strange? What the hell is going on?" I demanded. He sighed.

"I was talking to my sister, and well… she told me to come find you."

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"I… if I'm being honest… I don't exactly know. I know I wanted to talk to you again though. I don't like being away from you." He said. I smiled slightly to myself, but didn't show it.

"I'm kind of in the middle of something though." I motioned to the gym.

"And I didn't mean to interrupt. Please, continue." I just rolled my eyes, and walked past him to the mats, pulling out a dummy. I readied myself, and started in on it.

"I've come to a conclusion, after talking to my sister." He finally said. I didn't let it stop my flow.

"And what's that?" I asked, ragged.

"That after what I did to you… I don't deserve your forgiveness." He said. I faltered when the words left his mouth. "I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm going to spend as much time as it takes trying to earn it." He said.

"Can we not do this-." He cut me off, as if I hadn't spoken.

"I know you've been gone. I know you've grown up, and become a woman. I also know that within the space of time you've been gone, you've had a lot of opportunities to dwell on what happened between us. You've had lots of time to try and make yourself believe things, like you not loving me anymore, or that what we had never meant anything, but you're wrong. All in all, I wronged you. I made you believe that I didn't love you anymore, and you took that and ran with it, trying to convince yourself that you didn't love me anymore as well, so it wasn't a one-way street, it was a mutual thing. It's normal, and I get that… but you can't deny what's between us, Rose." He said. By this time, I'd stopped what I was doing, and was hanging on his every word. He continued as if I wasn't there, but he was looking dead at me the whole time. "I know that unless I forgive myself for what happened, for everything I've done, how can I ever expect to earn forgiveness? I have to start by forgiving myself, which I already have. I shouldn't have said what I did to you. I knew that, but it was the only way I could think of, and I regret it every day of my life. Regardless, I've accepted that I can't change it and that part of my life is now over. I know I haven't received your full forgiveness yet, nor do I expect to anytime soon. I just want you to know that I truly am sorry for what happened between us, and I really do love you, Roza." I stared at him, my jaw probably on the floor. I wasn't sure how to start responding, so I just stood there, like a moron. "Now would be the time to say something."

"I don't know what to say after you just laid all that on me." I finally murmured.

"You can start with saying-." I cut him off.

"I can't start by saying that I forgive you… because I haven't. At least, not completely. I've been gone for two years. Within that two years, I've learned so much, and that's to not let people in so easily. I did that with you in the beginning, and you see where it got me. I wasted my entire Academy experience chasing you, Dimitri. You kept me at arm's length when I could have had a real relationship with a boy my own age, but no… I didn't. Then, after you were turned… I gave up everything to go after you. I would have given up everything to stay with you. When you said what you did, it broke me, and… regardless of all the forgiveness and stuff… I'm not ready to jump back into this, if I'll ever be ready at all. What I can tell you is that I love you, and I always will… but what I can't tell you is if I'll ever truly be yours again. I can't promise that… so I won't." I explained.

"But I thought-." I shook my head.

"It doesn't work like that." I murmured.

"But Rose… I didn't mean what I said."

"It doesn't make it go away. Especially, when at the time… you did mean it."

"I wanted to mean it, for your sake." He corrected.

"Even so, my explanation remains. I love you, but… I've got to get things together. I've got to figure out what's right for me."

"I'm always going to be what's right for you." He said. I smiled.

"I hope your right." I murmured.

"Roza, please… listen to me-." I cut him off.

"I have listened, and everything you said is true. I'm so happy that you've forgiven yourself, but… I haven't forgiven you yet." I said. He frowned. I walked over to him, and took his face in my hands. "I love you. That part is so ingrained into who I am, it'll never go away. I can promise you that much." I brushed my lips against his, before stepping away. He reached for me, but I shook my head.

"I have to go." I murmured.

"Don't leave… I-." He started, but stopped, not knowing what else to say.

"I'll see you around, Comrade." He sighed in exasperation.

"See you later, Roza." He said, before I turned away, to start walking out. "Roza… before you go… I was wondering if maybe… you'd like to go out to eat or something sometime. I know you have a date to the party already, but-." I smirked at how young and naive he sounded. I couldn't turn him down, and I knew that.

"I'd like that." I finally said. He smiled.

"Thank you, Roza."

"No problem." I said, before walking out the door. I was still sort of confused and my mind was now reeling more than it was before I got to the gym. It was amazing how much one conversation with his sister changed his outlook on everything. I wondered what all Viktoria said to him. I started to go to her, and ask her what had gone down, but thought better of it, deciding that I needed to be alone. I walked into my room, closing the door and locking it behind me. I walked over, and flopped down on the couch, not sure what to think at the moment. I loved him, and I knew that. What I'd said about that would remain true forever. I'd always love him, no matter what. Whether I wanted to forgive him was a different story entirely. I'd watched him hurt, cry, beg, run to the alcohol, all in attempts to get me back. Was he really sorry? I'd like to think he was. He damn sure seemed like it. I'd taken two years to convince myself that he didn't love me, and now it was hard to convince myself that he did. I frowned, and ran a hand through my hair. I wasn't sure what to do. All I knew was that I wanted to forgive him. I wanted to be his again, I just didn't know if I could. He'd been scared that he wasn't capable of love when he was turned back, but… what if I wasn't capable of love now, after everything I'd been through. I sighed, and laid down, staring up at the ceiling. Before I knew it, I found myself falling asleep. I welcomed the darkness, knowing it'd close off my mind from the things I didn't want to think of.


	16. Gone!

The weeks passed by and the party got closer and closer. I didn't see Dimitri around much, nor did I see Corey around much either. I'd hung out with Adrian a few times, and helped Lissa with her stupid planning. She was ridiculous when it came to stuff like this. The day of the party, or ball, or whatever you want to call it, I got a phone call.

"Hathaway?" I answered.

"Hey, Rose. It's Corey. Listen, I've got some bad news." He said.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I've got some family business, and I'm not going to be able to make it to the party tonight." He informed me. I wasn't as disappointed as I should have been, but then… I realized something. This was a royal party and Zeklos was a royal name.

"Shouldn't your family be at this party tonight?" I asked.

"My father and some other relatives will be, but Jesse and I won't. We've got things to take care of." He said. He was being really evasive, and I could tell. I wanted to press further, but decided against it.

"Okay, well… that's fine, I guess."

"I'm sorry for bailing on you like this. I'll make it up to you, Rose. I promise." He said.

"Okay. I've got to go. Got a party to get ready for. I'll see ya round."

"Alright, bye." He said, the phone line going dead. I wasn't exactly thrilled to be dateless, but I'd work with it. I went into my bathroom, and plugged in my curling iron, and went to work on my hair. It took a million years to curl my hair since it was so long, but… after all my conversations with Dimitri about my hair; I'd just never been able to bring myself to cut it. I'd tried again and again and I just couldn't do it. When I was done with that, I started on my make-up, which only took me about ten to fifteen minutes. I then went into my bedroom, and pulled my dress out of the closet. I slid it on over my head, careful not to mess up my hair or make-up. I looked at the clock to see I had about fifteen minutes before the party started. I slid into my heels, and did a once over in the mirror. Call me vein, or conceded, but I looked hott. I couldn't deny that. I smiled and applied a little lip gloss and sprayed a little extra hair spray in my hair, before walking into my living room. I pulled out my stake and my strap and slid it into place around my leg, before slipping my stake into it. A girl can never be too prepared, what can I say. I grabbed my keys, and headed out, heading down to the ballroom. When I exited one hallway, Adrian exited from the one opposite me.

"Good god, I've seen you in it once already, so you'd think I'd have been prepared, but God damn." He said. I chuckled, and pirouetted for him.

"You like?"

"I love. Where's your date?" He asked. I shrugged.

"He bailed on me at the last minute." I said. Adrian all but ran across the lobby.

"I'd love too-." I shook my head.

"I think I'm gonna go solo this time around." His face fell, causing me to smirk. "That doesn't mean I won't dance with you, Adrian. Just means I don't want to be classified as having a date." He nodded.

"I guess I understand. Then may I escort you inside?" He asked, offering me his arm. I smirked.

"How can I deny your charm?" I asked.

"I've been thinking the same thing." He told me. "I don't know how you do it." I rolled my eyes as I took his arm. We went through the doors and inside. The ballroom was decked out in shades of silver and black, the normal colors for royal events. I found Lissa across the room, and motioned to her. Adrian nodded, and we strolled over.

"Rose… You look amazing."

"I told you her dress was amazing." Adrian told her. I chuckled.

"You were bragging about my dress?" I asked him. He nodded.

"I was." He admitted. I laughed. Christian strolled up with a glass of champagne. I smiled.

"Hey there fire boy."

"Hey Rose." He said.

"You look like your having a swell time." I told him, causing him to smirk.

"Yes, I love having to dress up in a monkey suit, and deal with a bunch of people who I'd love to light on fire."

"Christian." Lissa scolded, slapping him. He shrugged.

"Just being honest." He said. I chuckled.

"I love your wit, Ozera." He nodded.

"Doesn't everyone?"

"Not always." Lissa said. I snorted.

"I think I need a drink."

"You haven't even been here for ten minutes." Adrian said. I laughed.

"I know, and if I plan on being here more than ten minutes, I'll need a drink. I'll be back." I said.

"Save me a dance." He said.

"Of course." I muttered as I walked over to the refreshment table. I picked up a glass of champagne, and turned around. The moment I did, I ran smack into someone. They were like a brick wall, so I had no doubt of whom it was. He steadied me, and stepped back.

"Roza…. You look….. There aren't words." I smiled.

"Thanks… You look great too." I said, downing my glass of champagne and setting the glass back on the table. I grabbed another one.

"Where's Corey?"

"Bailed on me last minute." I said. I could see the satisfaction on his face.

"That's too bad." He said.

"Don't even go there with me Belikov." I said, walking around him. "I know how happy you are that I'm not here with him."

"I can't say I'm happy… but I much prefer you be here alone than with him." He said. I chuckled.

"I know."

"So, is there any possible way you can save me a dance tonight?" He asked.

"If you're lucky." I murmured, before walking away. I heard his deep chuckle, as I made my way through the people. I found Adrian, and smiled.

"Ready for that dance?" I asked.

"I've been ready since we walked in the door." I laughed as I set my glass of champagne down and allowed him to spin me out onto the dance floor. I smiled as he placed his hands on my waist, and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I don't know if I've told you lately, but… I'm glad you're still here."

"I could still leave at any time." I told him, smirking. He nodded.

"I know, but I got to bed every night hoping I'll wake up, and you'll still be around." He admitted, avoiding my eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere any time soon. I can promise you that much." I said.

"Good. I'll sleep easier knowing that."

"Like I said before, I can't promise you I'm not leaving again though." I informed him. He nodded.

"I know that. I'm hoping the longer you stay, the less you'll want to leave."

"Have I ever told you how happy I am that you're my friend?" I asked, touching his face. The champagne was working on me already. _Oh boy. _

"I think you have." He said, smiling. I chuckled. The song slowly faded to a close, and I went back to my glass of champagne and to find Lissa. When I found her, she was captivating a group of royal moroi who seemed to be hanging on her every word. Couldn't say I blamed them. The girl could captivate a crowd easily. When I walked up, she turned to me, a look of exasperation on her face.

"Everyone, this is my guardian, Rose Hathaway." Everyone muttered their hello's and such. I nodded at them.

"Is it true you had a molnija mark before you were promised?" One asked. I nodded. It was obvious these people never really associated with Guardians. Everyone knew I had a mark before I was promised. Idiot royals, and their popularity contest.

"That's amazing." She said. I nodded.

"I know." Lissa elbowed me.

"If you'll excuse me. I owe someone a dance. Are you okay?" I asked her. She nodded, but gave me a 'I could kill you for leaving me' look. I smirked.

"Would you like me to find Christian for you?" I asked.

"Please?" She almost begged. I nodded.

"I'm on it." I started across the ballroom, and saw him talking to Eddie and another guardian. When I reached him, I smiled.

"Your girlfriend needs saving."

"Then save her." He said, obviously not caring. "She wanted to throw this shindig, let her deal with the royals."

"Christian, go save her." I snapped. He growled at me.

"Don't make me… please."

"Fire crotch, don't make me tell her you argued about coming to her rescue." I said.

"You're one conniving bitch." He said. I smiled.

"But you love me anyway."

"She does… why I don't understand." He grumbled, as he walked away. I smiled.

"How are you doing Hathaway?" Eddie asked. I smiled.

"I'm actually doing pretty well. I haven't seen you around much."

"I know. I've been busy." He said. I nodded.

"How are you?"

"I'm great. I see you haven't fled, so things must be going smoothly in the Dimitri department."

"I wouldn't call it smooth. It's sort of like pavement. Old… old rocky pavement." I said, grouping for a comparison. He laughed.

"Nice." I smirked.

"I need another drink, if you'll excuse me." I said, walking away. I grabbed another glass, and turned around to find Dimitri walking towards me.

"So, how about that dance?" He asked. I looked up at him, and gave him my patented Rose Hathaway smile.

"I don't know if I'm drunk enough for that yet." I admitted.

"Come on, Roza." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine." We set our glasses on a table, as he whirled me out onto the floor. The song faded into a new one, that I semi-recognized. As the words followed, I recognized it was Bleed by Hot Chelle Rae. _Oh the irony. _

"Enjoying yourself?" He asked.

"No. I hate royal events because they're full of… well, royals. They annoy me."

"Me too."

"Then why are you here? You had no duty to be here tonight." I told him. He just looked at me as if I'd asked the most obvious question in the world, when really, I had. He came here because of me. He faced the raft of the annoying royals for me.

"I didn't want to miss the party of the year." He said, feigning excitement. I laughed. He chuckled as he spun me around, and pulled me back into his arms, pulling me closer to his body than before. The little electric sparks flowing through me were hard to ignore when our bodies were touching, and when there was alcohol involved, it made them ten times harder to ignore.

"God knows we couldn't miss out on this amazing event." I muttered. I looked up and met his gaze. I knew it was a bad idea, because the moment I did it, I found myself wanting to kiss him. As the song faded, I quickly released him, and stepped back.

"I have to go find Adrian." I told him, backing up. I went and grabbed my glass and walked across the ballroom to Adrian. He was standing with Mia Rinaldi. She smiled when I walked up.

"Hey Rose, how are you?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm great. Enjoying the party?" She asked, knowing how I felt about royals. I chuckled.

"Clever girl." She smirked. I stood there, and talked with her and Adrian for a little while, before I made my way through the crowd, conversating with the few people I could stand to have an intelligent conversation with. I looked across the ballroom to see Dimitri sitting at a table in the corner by himself. I walked over to him, and sat down.

"What are you doing over here, all alone?" I asked.

"I'm not feeling so good." He admitted. I could see in his eyes he was sleepy.

"Maybe you should go home, and-." He cut me off.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'll be back." He said. I just nodded as he got up. He was gone for awhile. I played with my champagne glass, as I waited. I looked up at his to see it was a slightly darker color than mine was which was weird considering we'd gotten the glasses at the same time. I picked up his glass and smelled it, and quickly snapped back. The scent of it made my head spin. It was then what was happening hit me like a battering ram. Someone had put something in his drink. I panicked. I jumped up out of the chair I was in, knocking it over as I went running for the men's bathroom. I busted into the door, to find it empty.

"NO!" I said. I ran across court, hoping I'd find him in his room. _Please, God… let him be in his room. _I opened the door to find it empty as well. I went down to the main desk, and had them search for him. I walked back to the men's bathroom, and laid my back against the wall, slowly sinking to the floor. Someone slipped him a roofie, and took him.


	17. My Reality!

_This isn't happening, this isn't happening. I'm dreaming. _I kept telling myself. I pinched myself hard, hoping I'd wake up and be in my bed, but it didn't happen. I pushed myself up off the floor and went running for the ballroom. I busted into the door, making a huge scene as I searched for Lissa. I came up short, and found Adrian.

"Rose? What's wrong?"

"Dimitri… He's gone." I said, my voice ragged.

"What do you mean, he's gone?" He asked, confused.

"Someone drugged his drink. He went to the bathroom because he didn't feel good and now he's gone. Someone took him Adrian."

"No one could take Dimitri, Rose. He's probably in his room." He said. His ability to take the severity out of a situation was making me angry.

"I checked his room already. SOMEONE DRUGGED HIM. What part of that don't you get?" I yelled. The people around us became concerned. Lissa pushed through the crowd quickly.

"Rose, what's going on?"

"Someone kidnapped Dimitri." I said, quickly.

"No one could-." They knew how strong Dimitri was. They knew NO ONE would be able to take him against his will had he not been drugged.

"Lissa, they drugged his drink. Someone drugged him and took him. We have to find him." I said, tears threatening to fall from my eyes. I _wouldn't_ cry. Not here.

"You're positive?" Lissa asked. I nodded. I ran across the ballroom and picked up the glass that had once been his, taking it to them.

"Smell it? It'll make your head spin. There's something in there." I snapped. Adrian smelled it, and wrinkled his nose.

"She's right." He said, handing it to Lissa. She did the same, and stumbled a little. She nodded once, become serious.

"Come on, we've got to find him." She said, me following after her. We made it to the front desk, and told them to check the tapes. They started rewinding them, as I paced in front of the desk.

"Who would take him? Why him? I don't understand. He hasn't ever done anything to-." Adrian cut me off.

"Maybe it's the strigoi. He was one of them after all."

"That doesn't make sense. It's been two years. They would have come after him before now if they wanted him." I told him, running my hands through my hair.

"I guess you're right. Who would take him though? Dimitri's never really done anything to anyone." He said.

"I know. Found anything yet Eddie?" I asked, as he watched the TV screen.

"Nothing yet. Haven't gotten that far back yet." He told me. I just nodded, as I paced. I pulled my phone out of my strap, underneath my dress and dialed Dimitri's number. It rang five times, and his voicemail picked up.

"God damn it, Dimitri." I snapped. I went back to my call log, going to try again when I saw Corey's name. I stared at my phone for the longest time, my mind racing back to his phone call that night. He'd told me he had _'family'_ business to take care of. His family, him and Jesse excluded were at the party. I saw them, all of them. He'd been so fixated on going to the party with me, and then all of the sudden, he had other things to do? That didn't make sense. It was then that the word family clicked in my head. Family, as in Ivan Zeklos, as in the one the entire Zeklos family blamed Dimitri for killing.

"NO!" I said. I walked away from the group, thinking hard. If he'd slipped into the party when Dimitri and I were dancing, he could have slipped something into his drink, and waited for him. How could I have been so blind? I trusted him. I let that man stay the night with me. Jesus Christ, I'd been gone for two years, and I hadn't learned anything.

"Rose? You might want to come look at this." Adrian said. I knew what they were seeing. I didn't have to look at it. I walked past them, and back towards the ballroom. The first Zeklos I found, I grabbed.

"Where's your nephew?" I demanded.

"What?"

"Your nephew, Corey has drugged and kidnapped an innocent man tonight. Where is he?" I snapped. He shook his head, obviously afraid of me. I didn't blame him.

"I don't know where he is." He said to quickly. I forgot it was a royal I was holding, I forgot I was in a room full of people who were watching me lose it. I slammed him against the wall.

"Where ARE THEY?" I screamed, placing my hand around his throat.

"I don't know for sure. They said something about a cabin not far from here. He said him and Jesse were gonna have some bonding time, I-." I cut him off.

"Don't pretend you're not in on this, Mark. You all wanted Dimitri dead, because you blamed him for Ivan's death." I said.

"I didn't blame him." He tried.

"Bullshit. Where is this cabin?" I demanded.

"Just south of here. Take the back road behind court for about thirty minutes and you'll come across it." He said, cowering in fear as I released my hold on him.

"Don't hurt them, please." He said, as I walked away.

"I'm not making promises." I walked out, grabbing Adrian and Eddie as I went.

"You're going with me." I told them.

"I'm going too." Lissa said.

"No you're not. You've got a party to stay here and attend." Christian told her.

"But she might-." I cut her off.

"Christian's right. You need to stay here and hold down the fort. I'll be back in no time, I promise."

"But what if he needs to be healed?" She asked.

"I have Adrian." I said. She gave him a look as if she wanted him to forfeit his place so she could go. He didn't.

"I don't like you going with-."

"Lissa, we have to go. I don't have time to protect you. Please, stay here with Christian. I know your safe here." I said, pleading in my voice. She just nodded.

"Fine, go." She said. I nodded, and took off running with Adrian and Eddie following me. I jumped into one of the vans. I called the head guardians at the gate, and told them to open them, but after we leave, not to let anyone out. I couldn't take the chance on someone being able to warn them we were coming. When we got out of the gates, I took the back roads around court, and started looking for the cabin. Adrian and Eddie were keeping their eyes open as well. We drove for what seemed like ever but there was still no cabin.

"That fucker lied to me. There's no cabin out here." I growled, slamming my fist against the steering wheel.

"No he didn't… Look-." He pointed out the window, and he was right. Way back in the woods, you could see the glow from a window. _The Cabin. _I parked the van, and jumped out.

"Wait-. We have to think of a plan. What if they have more people in there? We could be outnumbered."

"I don't care."

"We have a moroi." He stated. I turned to Adrian.

"He can hold his own. He's strong."

"Rose!" Eddie said.

"Eddie, I don't have time to waste. The man I love is in there, and he could be dead." I roared at him. The moment the words left my lips, this giant weight felt like it was lifted from my shoulders. I'd been back for a month now, and it had taken me this long to finally admit that I loved him to someone.

"You're going to let love get in the way of your job."

"Fine. Adrian, you stay out here." I said.

"No way. I'm going with you." He objected.

"See."

"You shouldn't let love get in the way, Rose." He reprimanded me. I growled.

"I don't have time for this. I'm going to save him. If you're scared for Adrian, he can stay out here, and you can stay here and protect him. I'm going in there! I'm not losing him again." I snapped at him, before I took off through the woods. I knew they'd follow me, no doubt.

"I'll go around the back. Eddie, stay with her." He said, as he went around the house. I turned to Adrian.

"I've got your back." He said. I smiled.

"And I've got yours." I promised. I didn't bother knocking on the door. "Get ready." I whispered. I took a deep breath, and kicked the door in, causing it to fly open. The only thing I saw in that moment was Dimitri, tied up and shirtless. Every inch of skin was covered in slashes and blood.

"Dimitri." I whispered.

"Roza." He whimpered. It was the weakest sound I'd ever heard come from him. Jesse and Corey turned around to look at me.

"What the fuck is going on?" I demanded. I took a few steps into the house.

"It's his fault my uncles dead. Karma is a bitch."

"Jesse, that was six years ago. It's time to let it go." I said.

"NO! He was my best friend. He was all I had. It's his fault." He said.

"He had to pay." Corey said. I turned my gaze to Corey, seeing a hatred in his eyes I'd never seen before. When he turned to me, it kindled out slightly.

"Jesse I would expect this from…" I murmured. I took a few more steps forward. "But you…. you had me fooled. I trusted you." I told him.

"Rose, I'm sorry, but-." I cut him off.

"Untie him." I said, speaking directly to Corey. He looked like he considered it for a second.

"Corey… No." Jesse told him, grabbing him.

"Don't make me hurt you, Jesse. Untie him." I growled. He shook his head.

"NO!" I started towards them, but he drew the stake back.

"Come any closer, I'll drive this straight through his heart!" He threatened. I saw a fire in his eyes that let me know he wasn't bluffing.

"NO! Please, don't hurt him." I begged. I sank down to my knees slowly. Dimitri's eyes fell on me, and I watched as a tear leaked down his face.

"He used to be strigoi. He's not anymore, so I know the silver won't affect him, but the sharp point will." He said, jabbing the sharp point of the stake into his arm and dragging it down his arm, slicing the flesh open all the way down his arm. His body writhed in pain against the ropes holding him to the chair he was in.

"Please, stop. Don't hurt him… Please!" I screamed. I forced myself back to my feet, and took a step forward.

"Hathaway, take one more step and he's dead." He told me, drawing the stake back.

"Please, let him go." I begged. "Corey, please. I love him."

"I loved my uncle. It didn't stop him from letting him die."

"He wasn't on duty. It was his other guardian's duty to take care of him, and he failed. Why aren't you going after him? Dimitri didn't fail Ivan! Don't do this, Jesse." I begged.

"You have no idea what you're talking about Hathaway." He snapped. "It's his fault. He has to pay." The moment he drew the stake back, a scream left my lips, but before I could do anything, Corey went up in flames. I didn't have time to turn to see who'd done it. I didn't care. I lunged forward, taking Jesse to the floor.

"Adrian, untie him!" I demanded as I wrestled to keep him down. He fought against me, but naturally I was stronger than him. I could hear Corey's screams as the flames engulfed him, but I didn't care. The darkness flooded me then. I completely lost it, beating every inch of Jesse's body into a bloody pulp. The stake I'd knocked out of his hand became very enticing. I picked it up, and brought it over my head, ready to drive it into his heart, when Eddie grabbed me, pulling me off him.

"What are you doing? Let me go!" I screamed, trying to break free.

"Rose, he's a moroi." He argued.

"I don't care. Let me kill him. Please, he needs to die." I said, fighting against him.

"Rose?" I heard Lissa whisper. Not even my bond mate could pull me out of this. Eddie was stronger than me, which only fueled my anger that much more. I turned around and punched him square in the face. He released me and I started back for Jesse, but he caught me, tackling me to the floor. His nose was pouring blood, but he didn't let it stop him.

"Rose?" I heard Dimitri croak. It completely pulled me out of my darkness stupor. He needed me. He needed me now more than ever. I had to help him.

"Rose? Are you-?" Eddie started. I met his gaze.

"I'm fine. Eddie, I'm so sorry." I said, touching his face.

"Don't worry about it." He said, helping me up. Adrian had to hold Dimitri up, so he could sit. Corey was still on the ground, and Eddie went to make sure Jesse stayed down so he wouldn't escape.

"God, look what they did to you." I whispered, afraid to touch him. His eyes were drooping. He was going to pass out but from the looks of his injuries, I was scared to let him. "Hey… wake up. Don't pass out on me. We've got to get you out of here." I said.

"I just want to sleep." He murmured, lolling over. I grabbed him, causing him to wince.

"Hey… come on. We're leaving. Eddie, you ride with Lissa and Christian. Take these two with you." I said, motioning to the boys on the ground. He nodded.

"Adrian, come on. I need you to drive." I said.

"Okay." I wrapped an arm around Dimitri's waist, causing him to whimper and bite back a yell.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. Adrian wrapped his arm around Dimitri's waist as well, as we helped him to the van. It was a long walk, and we had to stop twice to take a break, because Dimitri's body was slowly giving out on him. My poor dress was covered in blood by the time we made it to the van. I crawled into the backseat, and pulled him in with me, laying his head on my lap. "Dimitri, I need you to stay awake."

"I can't hold my eyes open."

"Hey… open your eyes… look at me." I said. His eyes were tiny slits, but they were open. That's what counted.

"Talk to me, keep me awake." He murmured, his words slurring together. Tears brimmed to my eyes, and this time, I could fight them back.

"I'm so sorry they did this to you."

"It wasn't your fault." He muttered.

"It wasn't yours either."

"They miss Ivan… I do too." He said, softly.

"I know, but would you be crazy enough to kill someone because you missed him?" I asked, running a hand through his bloody and matted hair.

"No." He answered simply. One of my tears fell onto his forehead, and caused him to look up at me. "Don't cry, Roza." Adrian was looking at me in the rearview mirror.

"You're hurt… bad."

"It's nothing I can't bounce back from." He slurred.

"It doesn't matter." I whispered. "I'm sorry I didn't get to you quick enough."

"It's not like when you or Lissa go missing, and we use the bond to locate the other. This was a little more difficult, and who would have suspected that-."

"I should have known when he tried to get close to me. You'd think after two years of being on my own, I'd learn not to trust people so easily. I knew where it got me the first time." I whispered.

"Roza, it's going to be okay." He whispered. I just nodded. I stroked his face, and leaned down to kiss his bloody forehead.

"I know." I murmured. I continued to stroke his face and hair, in an attempt to keep him away. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, wishing this was all some terrible nightmare I'd wake up from… but it wasn't. This, this pain, and heartache was and always would be my reality. I stared down into his bloody and battered face and realized that I loved him. No matter how much he hurt me, I'd keep coming back. He meant everything to me, and I'd go through hell a thousand times over to make him happy, to make him smile. He was my everything, and in this moment, he was my reality.


	18. Swollen Heart!

When we finally reached court, Adrian pulled the van right up to the door, and came around to the backside. I'd had a hard time keeping Dimitri awake. I got out, and had to pull him out of the van after me. When I finally got him standing, I slammed the van door and started in. Adrian opened the door, as I hobbled him to the infirmary. When I got there, the medical team was already waiting for us. Eddie must have called. I helped him onto one of the beds, as he bit his lip hard to prevent the scream of the pain.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry." I murmured, as I helped him down.

"Give me a minute, and you'll be fine." Adrian told him.

"No." He whimpered.

"What?" Adrian asked, giving him a look like he was mentally incompetent. "What do you mean no? You're hurt."

"I'll heal." He stated.

"In like four month. Dimitri, let me help you." He said.

"I'll be fine on my own." He said. I admired his bravery, his will to heal on his own to prevent someone from actually having to help him. I now fully understood where I got that trait from.

"Dimitri…" I said, taking his hand gently in my own. He looked up at me, catching me in that web that was his beautiful brown eyes. "Let him help you… You're hurt, bad."

"Do you think I don't know that?" He asked smartly, giving me a small smile.

"It'll take you months to heal from this. You'll never fully be up to par, and won't be able to do much. Please, just let him heal you. I don't want to see you in pain anymore." My eyes fell on the deep wound I'd watched them make in his arm when we'd found them in the cabin. I shuddered at the memory.

"You know how tired healing makes them. I don't want to be an inconvenience." He said to me, but then turned to him.

"Fine. The only thing that I see it taking longer than a few weeks to heal, is this." He said, touching his arm, where they'd sliced him open. He was right. The rest of his injuries were nothing compared to the flesh sliced completely open. I flinched when his hand touched his skin. Adrian winced too from the look of agony on his face.

"I don't want you to heal me. A few dozen stitches and some bandage will heal this in no time. I'm a fast healer." He told us. He rolled his eyes, but finally gave up with arguing with him. He knew once Dimitri was set on something, he wasn't going to change his mind. Adrian went to get the doctor so they could stitch up his arm. They looked at us all like idiots because we had a spirit users and he wanted stitches. It was going to leave an ugly scar when they healed, that was for sure. When the doctor came in, he asked Dimitri if he wanted to be sedated, but of course his answer was no. I shook my head. When the doctor began stitching the flesh back together, the look on Dimitri's face made my entire body convulse. I walked over to his bedside and took his hand.

"Remember, you chose this." I told him. He nodded.

"I know." He squeaked. I brought his hand up to my mouth and kissed it.

"It'll be over soon." I said. He just nodded. Adrian stayed, patting my back as I watched the man I loved suffer because he was so freakin' hard-headed. They had about six more stitches to go when my phone rang.

"Hathaway."

"We're here." He told me.

"Good. I'll be out in a minute." I said, before snapping my phone closed.

"Adrian, stay with him. I've got something to take care of." I told him, releasing Dimitri's hand.

"Rose, what are you doing?" He asked me, as I started towards the door.

"Nothing." I answered simply.

"Rose!" Dimitri warned.

"I'll be back." I promised. I looked at Adrian and gave him a slight nod. When I reached the front door, Christian had Corey by the arm, and Eddie was standing beside Jesse. When I walked out, Corey's eyes filled with regret.

"Rose, I'm-." He started. I cut him off.

"Save it. I don't want to hear it right now."

"I did this for you." He said, quickly. My heart stopped.

"What? You did this for your Uncle Ivan. It had nothing to do with me." I growled, stepping forward.

"He hurt you, Rose. I know how bad he hurt you. I watched you cry over him, over what he did to you countless times. You didn't deserve that. He had to pay for what he did to you." He told me. I was at a loss, and I could see that Christian and Eddie saw it too. It took me a second to snap back into reality.

"What happened between Dimitri and I was none of your concern, Corey. I handled it on my own. You were going to kill him. So help me God, if I would have showed up to that house and he would have been dead, I would have killed you both. Moroi or not, I would have ended you."

"Rose…" Eddie said. I didn't care. I pushed Corey out of Christians grasp and up against the van.

"This didn't concern you. I'm sorry Ivan's dead, but you both need to get it through your head now, that Dimitri had nothing to do with it. People die all the time. You move on." Eddie looked down, his mind obviously where mine was. _Mason Ashford. _

"You're little friend Mason was nothing-." Eddie cut Jesse off with a punch to the face.

"If I ever hear you say his name again, I will hurt you." Eddie said. I was surprised at Eddie's outburst, but at the same time, I was proud of him.

"My own problems, are my own. You taking the man that I love and torturing him almost to the point of death was wrong. You were in the wrong. I trusted you, Corey. I let you in. I can see now that was almost a fatal mistake."

"Rose, I was-." I shook my head.

"Take them to the guardian's headquarters. They'll lock them up there." I told them. Christian gave me a look, almost to say he would proud of me for not losing my cool.

"Rose, are you okay?" Lissa asked. I nodded.

"Can you go please… I need a minute, alone." She nodded.

"Sure. I'm gonna go check on Dimitri." She told me.

"Good. Thanks." I said, as she walked away. I stood there, trying to gather my thoughts. He'd helped Jesse, because of me. He went after Dimitri because he hurt me. Dimitri had told me what happened tonight wasn't my fault…. But it was. It was all my fault. If Jesse wouldn't have had help, he wouldn't have gone through with his plan, knowing he couldn't take Dimitri on alone, even if he was drugged. This was my fault. A tear leaked down my face, but I quickly wiped it away when I heard the door open behind me.

"Rose, Dimitri's stitches are done. He's asking for you." Adrian told me. I just nodded. I didn't turn around.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, taking a couple steps towards me.

"I'm fine." I whispered, trying to keep my voice steady. It failed me.

"He's going to be alright, Rose."

"This was my fault." I whispered. Adrian pulled me to him, and took my face in his hands.

"This is not your fault. Jesse and Corey are sick freaks who hold a blood grudge. Don't think this was your fault, because it wasn't."

"Corey agreed to help Jesse, because of me. He saw how much Dimitri had hurt me, and decided he had to pay. That's the only reason Corey agreed to go through with Jesse's plan, meaning it never would have happened if I hadn't trusted him. Dimitri would have been perfectly safe, and things would have been normal, but no… once again, due to my stupidity, someone gets hurt." I told him.

"Rose, he made that decision. Regardless of his motive, that doesn't make this anymore your fault. He knew right from wrong. He isn't a child." I just nodded, and buried my face into his shoulder. I got it all out of my system, and pulled away, taking a deep breath. Adrian kissed my forehead, and smiled. "Everything's going to be fine. I promise." He told me. I just nodded.

"I need to go back to him."

"You do. He was antsy when you left, and the doctors kept yelling at him to hold still." Adrian said. I chuckled slightly. "There's that beautiful smile."

"Knock it off, Ivashkov." I said, pushing him playfully. I walked back in and started for the infirmary again.

"Hey Rose?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I'm gonna head home. I think I've had enough doom and gloom for one evening."

"I don't blame you there." I told him. I hugged him, and kissed his cheek.

"Goodnight Rose."

"Night Adrian." I said, as he walked away. I took a deep breath before I walked back into Dimitri's room. When I walked in, his bloody face lit up.

"I was afraid they were going to bring you back in handcuffs." He told me.

"Please… like anyone could get handcuffs on me." I said. Christian snorted, obviously thinking up something dirty in his messed up little mind. Lissa elbowed him. Lissa finally sighed.

"I guess I better go talk to the queen about what happened tonight. I'm sure she's dying to know." She said. She kissed Dimitri's forehead.

"Get better." She told him.

"I will." She hugged me and walked out.

"Goodnight guys." Christian said, going to follow her.

"Christian?" I called.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you… for your help tonight." I said. He shrugged.

"Don't mention it."

"Savior Christian." I muttered before he exited. When he turned around the phrase _If looks could kill _ran through my mind. I giggled as he walked out of the room. I was still staring at the door when I felt Dimitri take my hand in his, and pull it up to kiss it.

"You saved my life tonight." He said. I felt the tears well back to my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away.

"I wouldn't call what happened tonight 'saving your life'." I said.

"Then what would you call it?" He asked me, trying to be a smart ass. I could tell by the look on his face. I avoided the question.

"I'm just glad your okay." I told him.

"Why are you avoiding the question?" He asked.

"I'm not avoiding anything."

"Roza."

"Don't call-." I cut myself off, when I realized I was taking out my frustration of what I'd caused on him. I stood up, pulling my hand from his, and took a few steps away, my back to him.

"Rose… what's wrong?"

"Everything." I answered simply. I heard him moving around in the hospital bed, and I wondered if he was trying to stand up. When I turned, he was sitting up, staring at me.

"Don't make me get out of this bed." He told me.

"Let's see it." I said. He started to get up.

"No, what are you doing. You're going to hurt yourself." I walked over and gently pushed him back down. He grimaced as my hands touched his bloody chest. He grabbed my hands though, not allowing me to back away. He sat back up, so we were just inches apart. He released one of my hands and touched my face.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I couldn't deny those eyes anything.

"It's my fault this happened to you."

"Rose, I've already told you. It wasn't your fault. They missed Ivan and-."

"No… You don't understand. Corey agreed to help Jesse, not just because of Ivan, but because…. Because of me."

"Because of you? I don't understand."

"The night we got into an argument in the gym-." I didn't want to bring up how we'd kissed and I'd told him how much I 'hated' him. "He found me crying. He knew how much everything that had happened between you and I had hurt me. He came to the conclusion that you had to pay for what you did to me. It wasn't just Ivan's death… it was me." I murmured.

"He's taken a liking to you obviously." He said, bitter edge to his voice.

"That's not the point. This could have all been prevented had I not trusted him. This could have all been prevented had I not let him in. I'm an idiot. I'm so sorry, Dimitri." I murmured. I felt horrible about myself.

"He made that choice, Rose."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I demanded, ripping myself out of his grasp.

"Because it's true. He's grown. He made the choice to help Jesse, not the other way around. If you trusted him, it obviously meant you thought he was worth it." He told me.

"Stop trying to make this better." I told him. I said walking away from him. I didn't even hear him move this time, but the next thing I knew, I felt a set of arms wrap around my waist.

"It's over now. It doesn't matter anymore."

"It does matter; look what they did to you." I said, turning around to face him, motioning to his bloody and battered body.

"It happens. You've came back from bloody battles looking worse than this, some of the due to me."

"So what? Because I got you into this mess that makes us even? That's a sick joke, Dimitri." I said. He chuckled slightly, and touched my face. "What about this is funny?" I demanded.

"Roza, it's over, and there's nothing we can do about it anymore. We have to move on." He said. He rubbed his thumb in a circle on my cheek. I realized he was right. It was over, and there was nothing more I could do, nothing I could say to make what happened right. I could only advance, move on from tonight happenings. I looked down at his bloody and bruised chest.

"You need a shower."

"I know… I should probably be getting to my room." He said. I looked up and met his eyes, and sighed.

"If you want, you can come home with me. I'd much prefer you not be alone right now, with your injuries." I said. I couldn't mistake the lighting up of his face for anything else other than being ecstatic. He just nodded.

"I'd like that." He said. His face said he liked it a lot more than he led on. I helped him hobble across court, and to my room. When I unlocked the door, he looked at my dress.

"I ruined your dress."

"Its okay." I told him. I walked him over to the stool at my kitchen counter, and helped him sit down.

"I don't want you on my furniture until you're not… nasty." I informed him.

"I need a change of clothes." He told me. I sighed.

"Do you have your house keys on you?" He nodded, and handed them to me.

"I'll go get you some clothes… I'll be back."

"Thank you." He said. I just nodded.

"Behave, and don't go anywhere." I told him. He nodded. I started out across court, and into his room. When I walked in, I walked over to his dresser, and grabbed a pair of his boxers, a pair of athletic shorts, and a t-shirt. I grabbed his guardian uniform off the chair and folded it up to take with me as well. As I walked past his bed, I saw one of his old western novels. I remembered the title from our time at the academy. I smiled as I picked it up, and ran my hand over the cover. It made my heart swell thinking back to the times I'd had with him then, and how different things were now. I sat down on his bed, and flipped through the pages. I found one of them dog eared, and when I opened it, a quote was underlined. _"Not even the rules could get in the way of a love likes ours, and I'd never let it happen as long as I lived." _The moment I read it, I felt tears spring to my eyes. I smiled down at the book, as I laid it back on his bed, and started back to my room with his clothes and a swollen heart.


	19. Four words too three!

When I got back to my room, he was still sitting at my counter. He had the scrapbook I'd put together in Russia. He didn't hear me come in, so I gently shut the door, and cleared my throat. He quickly looked up, and a light blush crept to his face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean-." I smiled.

"I'm teasing. It's not a big deal." I took his stuff over to the counter, and sat it down. "I brought you clothes to sleep in and your uniform for tomorrow, so you don't have to leave in shorts and a t-shirt." I told him.

"I don't know what the moroi society would think if they saw me in shorts."

"They'd rather you were a strigoi." I teased. He smiled slightly, which let me know I hadn't crossed any lines.

"I miss them." He said, looking down at the book.

"I know you do."

"My mother and grandmother especially."

"They miss you too, you know." I said.

"I know." He murmured, face becoming grave but thoughtful.

"Have you spoken to them since your restoration?"

"No… the only one I've spoken to is Viktoria, although… I'm sure Yeva knew of my transformation and informed them." He said. I nodded.

"Then when I showed up, they all knew for sure."

"I couldn't face them after all I've done." He murmured.

"Dimitri, you said you'd forgiven yourself for all the strigoi-." He cut me off.

"I don't mean that stuff. I've forgiven myself for that. I wasn't myself then. I've accepted that. I'm talking about after that. I'm talking about the things I did to you, said to you after I was restored." He said, looking down at a picture of his family and myself.

"They'd forgive you."

"They wouldn't. I wouldn't in their shoes. They taught me better than that, and I let them down." He said.

"Dimitri, can we not do this now. You're hurt. You need to get a shower, and rest." I told him. He ran a finger across the picture, and looked up at me.

"I've never stopped loving you."

"I know… I know." I whispered, thinking back to the quote that had been underlined in that book. "Go get a shower, Dimitri… We'll talk more then." I told him. He nodded, and tried to stand up out of the stool, and almost hit the floor. I grabbed him, holding him up. "Woah… are you-."

"I'll be fine." He said, trying to stand up on his own.

"Come on… I'll help you into the bathroom, and you can take a bath. I don't need you falling and breaking any bones in my shower." He nodded as I helped him hobble into the bathroom. I put the stopper in the tub and started filling it with water. I assisted him in getting a good portion of his clothes off, before I turned around so he could get in the tub.

"I'm going to go make some coffee… If you need me, yell." I told him, when he said it was okay for me to turn around. I'd seen him undressed before, so it wasn't anything new, but I felt it was common courtesy to turn the other way. He just nodded as he sat back in my tub and started scrubbing the blood off his body. He was careful to keep his stitches out of the water as well. I went into my kitchen and started the coffee pot, sitting at my counter. Tonight was testing my self control, was all I could say. I began flipping through the pages of my scrapbook Dimitri had been looking at, and on a page with a picture of me, his mother, and his grandmother, there was small wet spots, as if they were tear marks. I felt my heart clench as I thought about him staring at this picture crying. As the coffee finished up, Dimitri called my name. He was a lot less bloody when I walked in, which was a good thing.

"I need help getting up." He admitted. _Oh boy. _I just nodded. I leaned over the tub, and wrapped an arm around his waist, careful to keep my eyes straight ahead, and not let them wander down his body… his perfect, muscular—_Knock it off, Rose_, I yelled at myself. Once he was up, I handed him a towel, and helped him step out of the tub. He wrapped it around his waist which made me relax slightly.

"Can you handle it from here?" I asked. He gave me a smart ass smile, and nodded.

"I think I can… thanks." He said. I nodded.

"Coffees done by the way."

"Okay." He said, as I started out. "Rose?" He called. I turned back around.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you making it seem like me being undressed around you is something new?" He asked me. I debated on lying, and telling him I was trying to be courteous, but instead, I went with the truth.

"My self control is only so strong, Dimitri." I met his eyes for a second, and saw as what I said registered to him. I smirked slightly.

"I'll be in the kitchen when you're done." I told him, as I walked out. I went and sat down at the table, with a cup of coffee, waiting to see him immerge from my bedroom. When he did, he was in just athletic shorts. _Of course. _The damage was more visible now, and it was pretty bad. The scratches and bruises were dark, and looked painful.

"How you feeling?" I asked, as he stumbled over to the counter.

"I'll live." He assured me. He sat down at the counter, as I made him a cup of coffee. "Thank you for tonight. I would probably be lying on my bathroom floor right now if I would have gone home alone."

"I know." I told him, sipping my coffee. He looked down at the scrapbook in front of him, and probably noticed the same thing I did. He quickly closed it.

"Why don't you make a trip to see them?" I asked somberly.

"I'm scared of what they'll say to me, afraid they won't forgive me for the awful things I did to you. I can see that they all love you."

"You're their son." I told him.

"It doesn't matter. They hold me up to higher expectations than anyone else. They won't forgive the things I did to you. In all honesty, I don't deserve it."

"Dimitri, they're not going to ostracize you for something that happened two years ago." I told him.

"They should." I grabbed his face, and pulled it to look at me.

"If you can forgive yourself for killing hundreds, maybe even thousands of innocent people, and almost sucking the life out of me, and turning me into an undead monster, then you can damn sure forgive yourself for a few mean things you said to me. It was four words, Comrade. Four words that don't matter anymore. It's the past. It happened, and it's over. You've got to let it go."

"It's easier said than done." He told me, his eyes traveling down my face. I slowly let my hands slide off his face.

"This change for a reason. Sometimes, you can't stop it."

"Sometimes, things can be prevented." He told me. I looked away, feeling my heartache.

"I thought I was going to lose you tonight." I admitted.

"I'm not going anywhere." He assured me.

"It didn't look that way when Jesse was ready to drive your stake through your heart."

"I died once… I got over it." He said. I narrowed my eyes.

"Dimitri Belikov, that's not funny." I scolded him. He smiled.

"I know it isn't. Just trying to lighten the mood a little."

"Nice try." I muttered. He placed his hand over mine on top of my counter.

"I'm not going anywhere without a fight. You know that." He told me.

"I can't take the thought of losing you… not again."

"You told them that you loved me tonight." He finally whispered. I looked down at our hands and back up at him.

"Because I do." I stated simply. "I've tried to deny it over and over again but nothing I can say is going to change the fact that, the way I feel about you is so ingrained into who I am, that it's never going to fully go away. No matter how much distance or how much time I put between us, I'll never stop loving you. It's like you're tattooed on my heart."

"I know what you mean. Knowing that I was the cause of your disappearance killed me. It was stupid on my part to send you away, when I needed you." He murmured. I just nodded.

"I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, Roza. I'm just asking that you give me the chance to make it up to you. Let me show you that I never really stopped loving you, despite my harsh words." I just stared at him, and I could see in his eyes he was on a slippery slope. All it would take would be one little word for me to break him beyond repair.

"When I went to your room to get your clothes tonight, I found a western novel on your bed." I finally said. He looked at me as if he had no idea where I was going with this. "I remember teasing you about reading it back at the academy. When I picked it up, one of the pages was dog eared, so I opened it and found that you'd underlined a quote." He knew exactly what I was talking about now.

"Not even the rules could get in the way of a love likes ours, and I'd never let it happen as long as I lived." He quoted. Of course he knew it word for word.

"It broke my heart when I read that."

"Because I let something get in the way when I promised I wouldn't." He murmured. I nodded.

"I'm tired. I should probably get out of this bloody dress, and shower." I said, getting up, pulling my hand out from under his. "I'll be back." I murmured. I got up and went into my room, grabbing a change of clothes and heading into the bathroom. The entire time I showered I was trying to figure out what to do. It was an internal struggle to say the least. I wanted him, to be with him, to be able to call him mine again, but I was scared, and worried, and so many other things. I loved him more than anything in the world though, and I knew nothing was ever going to change that. Trying to move on would be pointless, and in the end I knew I'd never love anyone the way I loved him. It would be pointless to try. As I got out of the shower, I stared in the mirror for the longest time, battling between what I wanted, and the way things should happen. As I stared in the mirror, I realized that they both sort of went hand in hand. I got dressed, and walked out to find him still sitting at the counter with his coffee.

"Feel better?" He asked. I nodded.

"My poor dress."

"If it makes you feel better, I'll buy you another one." He tried. I smiled.

"I was teasing. It's not a big deal. It's not the first dress I've stained up with blood." I told him.

"Probably won't be the last."

"Without a doubt." I said. I yawned.

"We should probably get some sleep." He said. I nodded.

"I'm tired, and I don't know how you're awake right now."

"You've kept me awake." He said. I smiled. He got up and started to stumble towards the couch.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, confused.

"Going to bed?" He tried.

"I was actually going to let you sleep in bed with me, but if you want to sleep on the couch, that's cool too." I said, shrugging.

"Wait… I can-."

"You think I invited you to my house so you could sleep on the couch?" I asked, leaning against my doorframe. "I'll admit, I'm a bitch, but I'm not that much of a bitch." He gave me a full out smile, which caused me to giggle. It was rare that I ever got one of those these days. He stumbled over and into my room as I turned on my fan and crawled into bed.

"Are you sure? I can sleep on the couch."

"Just get in before I change my mind." I teased. He chuckled. He curled up beside me, and rolled over to face me, wincing as he moved around on his cuts and bruises.

"I'm glad you're alright." I told him.

"Thank you for saving me tonight."

"You've saved me enough times since we've known each other. It was my turn." I told him. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. He looked so young when he did it. It made me smile at him. Staring at him here and now, I knew that I'd never be able to let him go. He met my eyes for a second, before I reached over and touched his face. Slowly, I leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. His eyes remained closed for a few moments after I'd pulled away. When he opened his eyes to look at me, I smiled.

"I love you, comrade."

"As I love you Roza. I always have." He murmured. He pressed his lips to my forehead.

"Goodnight." I whispered, rolling over to face the other direction. I felt him move on the bed, and then felt his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me against his chest. I sighed in contentment, and closed my eyes, slowly falling asleep in the man of my dream's arms.


	20. Conquered!

When I woke the next morning, his arms were still wrapped around me. I knew he was awake before I opened my eyes, because I could feel him looking at me.

"You're staring." I told him, refusing to open my eyes.

"I'm gazing."

"It's creepy." I said, smirking.

"It was romantic until you called it creepy." He said, shaking his head.

"Do the cowboys gaze at women in your cheesy western novels?"

"Sometimes… it depends on the situation." He told me. I shook my head, and finally opened my eyes to meet his.

"Good morning." I murmured.

"It definitely is."

"Sleep well?" I asked. He looked away from my eyes, and smiled slightly.

"It's the best sleep I've gotten in two years." He finally admitted. I felt my heart swell once again.

"How are you feeling?"

"Sore… it's why I haven't moved."

"Ahh." I said, not knowing how else to respond. I sat up, and stretched my body, as he pulled his arms from around me. I frowned, but didn't say anything about it.

"We should probably get up." He said.

"Probably." I murmured. Neither of us made a move to get out of bed though. I looked down at him, and smiled. "Don't move to fast now." I teased.

"I'm scared to move."

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"Because I know it's going to hurt like hell when I attempt to get out of this bed…. And well, of course I don't mind staying in bed with you." He said. I smirked at him.

"You're something else, Belikov." I said. I rolled out of the bed, and walked around to his side.

"Come on, I'll help you."

"Just leave me here." He protested.

"Are you really this big of a baby when you're hurt? The illusion is shattered."

"What illusion?" He asked. I smirked.

"The one where I thought you were like Superman and nothing really hurt you." I told him.

"I told you back at the academy, and I'll tell you again, I'm not as strong as you think I am." He said.

"I don't believe it." I said, offering him my hand. He took it, and slowly sat up, wincing and grimacing as his bones popped. I made a face at the sound. He groaned, and stood up. "Can you walk on your own, or do you need a cane, old man?" I asked. If he was Superman, he would have burned a hole through me with that look. I giggled.

"I think I'll be fine." I walked out into the kitchen, with him following. I made another pot of coffee, and poured us both a cup.

"I know I said thank you already, but I really appreciate your hospitality."

"It wasn't a problem." I assured him. He just nodded. After what had happened last night, this morning seemed to get more awkward by the second. I drummed my fingers on the counter, trying to think of something to say. I could have cut the tension in my kitchen with a stake it was so thick.

"Roza?" Dimitri said. I turned to look at him, but the moment I did, he captured my face in his hands, and brought his mouth to mine. I was completely caught off guard by his gesture, but I welcomed it. He quickly stood up out of his chair, and picked me up out of mine, carrying me into my bedroom, and laying me on my bed. _Why wasn't I stopping this? _Oh yeah, that's right, because I loved him, and I wanted him about as bad as he wanted me. He slipped his fingers inside the brim of my shirt, running his fingers over the skin of my stomach. I knew where this was going, but he was injured, and I didn't want to take the chance on him opening his stitches, or hurting himself even more.

"We can't do this." I whispered, when he finally pulled his mouth from mine.

"What? Why? I thought-."

"You're hurt. You need to rest… this isn't something we need to engage in while your healing." I said, disappointment as clear in my voice, as it was on his face.

"I guess you're right." He muttered. I pressed my mouth back to his, kissing him hard.

"I love you." He met my eyes, and smiled.

"I love you too, Roza." I sat up on my elbows, causing him to sit back and straddle my legs. He moved a piece of hair out of my face, and sighed. "I don't know how I went without you so long." I smirked.

"Me either." I teased. He chuckled.

"Oh, Roza."

"We should probably get dressed and go find Lissa, you think?" I asked him. He sighed, and nodded.

"Probably… but first." He pushed me back down onto the bed, and brought his mouth back to mine, his lips enthusiastic on mine. It was the kind of kisses I loved to share with him back at the academy. The kind of kisses that turned my world upside down. When he pulled away, he laid his forehead against mine.

"Now we can go." He told me. I growled at him, as he climbed off me, and stood up. He chuckled as he grabbed his uniform and changed. I grabbed mine and put it on as well, running a quick brush through my hair, and putting on a little make-up. I grabbed my stake, and noticed that Dimitri didn't have one. It only took me a second to remember that they'd been using his stake on him last night. _Bastards. _I opened a cabinet and pulled out a handmade stake I'd gotten from Russia. It was beautiful, and I bought it because it reminded me of him. I walked out and handed it to him.

"A replacement, until you get a new one."

"I can get another one from the desk." He said.

"But this one I got in Russia, and it was handmade."

"And you're going to let me use it? You must have paid a fortune for it." He told me, knowing how expensive things were in Russia.

"I did, but that's beside the point. I want you to use it."

"Why?" He asked. I sighed.

"I bought it because it reminded me of you." I finally admitted. He looked down at it, and raised an eyebrow.

"How does it remind you of me?"

"It's beautiful, and unique, and it's deadly. When I saw it in Russia, you were the first thing I thought of. You're why I bought it." I said. The smile that spread across his face was gorgeous, and lit up the entire room. I rested my case on the beautiful part.

"Roza…" He murmured, hugging me. I just smiled. When I stepped out of his embrace, I sighed.

"We should go find Lissa." I said. He nodded. I went to her room first, but Christian said she was with Tatiana, so unfortunately, I had to go back to the ballroom where I'd tracked her to through the bond. Right before we got there, Dimitri turned to me.

"Do you ever wonder how you would ever locate her if you didn't have the bond? She never stays in one place long." He said. I chuckled.

"I'd be lost if I had to find her by actually searching for her." I told him. He laughed, as we walked in. Lissa and Tatiana turned and looked surprised to see us both together.

"Guardian Belikov, I'm so sorry for last night's happenings. The Zeklos boys are being punished accordingly." Tatiana told him. Dimitri just nodded. He was probably thinking the same thing I was _"I'd punish them a lot better than you would." _

"How are you feeling?" Lissa asked.

"I'm sore, but I'll live. I've survived worse."

"He ruined my dress though." I muttered.

"Shame, it was a pretty dress." Lissa said. I threw Dimitri a sideways glance, causing him to smile slightly.

"Is there anything you guys need help with?" Dimitri asked.

"Guardian Belikov, you don't need to be working. You're injured. You should at least take a few days off to rest, and heal. I heard you got a pretty good amount of stitches in your arm."

"I did, but it doesn't mean I can't still work. I'm not the kind to lie around, even when I'm injured." He said.

"He's an overachiever." I told her. Tatiana smirked at me. Dimitri shook his head.

"I promise I won't be doing any heavy work the next few days. Someone's going to make sure of it, I'm sure." He said, looking at me. I knew exactly what he was talking about though, which caused my face to get hot. I shook my head at him. Lissa obviously sensed something going on between us, but she wasn't going to say anything while Tatiana was around.

"Well, I'll leave you guys alone. Lissa, you did a fantastic job last night. Dimitri, get well soon, and Rose… thank you so much for finding him, and bringing the Zeklos boys back to us." We all nodded as she disappeared. Lissa looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I shrugged.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, Dimitri."

"Thanks Lissa." He said.

"So, I sent Christian to your room last night to check on you, but he said you weren't home, so judging by you two this morning, I don't have to ask where you were." He said. Dimitri chuckled.

"I offered to let him stay with me. He wouldn't have made it on his own last night." I told her. She just nodded.

"Whatever you guys say." She said. I rolled my eyes at her. Dimitri shook his head. A few minutes later, Christian walked in.

"Are we having a party in here?"

"Nope… just talking." Lissa said, giving me a look. I laughed.

"Stop looking at me like that." I snapped. She giggled.

"I'm not looking at you like anything. Christian and I are going to go. I'm hungry. See ya around." She asked, grabbing Christian and walking out.

"That couldn't have been more awkward." Rose said. I chuckled.

"Lissa makes things that way when she doesn't know what's going on." He told me. I smirked and nodded.

"We know that as well as anyone."

"Agreed." He said. He finally sighed. "I guess I should head to Hans and see if they need any help with anything."

"No heavy work." I snapped, taking a few steps towards him. He chuckled, obviously remembering his comment.

"I'll be sure to save that for you." He said. My jaw almost hit the floor. I felt my face get hot.

"Get out of here, Belikov." I snapped. He chuckled.

"I'll see you around, Roza." He said. He turned to start to leave, but I knew better. He turned back around, and came over to kiss me. I giggled.

"That's what I thought." I said, when he pulled away.

"I'll see you later." He said, before walking out. I watched as he disappeared. I couldn't help the smile that crept across my face. I headed out and to my room. I made myself something to eat, and poured myself another cup of coffee and sat down at the counter where Dimitri and I had sat. I had this ridiculous smile on my face the entire time. I went into my bathroom to wash my hands and to take my dress down to the drycleaners to attempt to get the blood out of it, when I caught my reflection in the mirror. Ever since I'd left, I'd noticed in my eyes that something had been missing. For two years, I'd noticed that same empty look in my eyes, every time I looked in the mirror. As I stared at my reflection now, I realized that that haunted look was gone. The sparkle that had always been in my eye when Dimitri and I were together was back. It was back, and bright in my eyes, conveying my mood. I just smiled. I ran my dress to the cleaners and told them to do the best they could with it, and went back to my room, flipping through the pages of my scrapbook. The tears marks caught me off guard every time I passed the picture of me, Yeva and Olena. He needed to see his family. His family needed to see him. The only one that had seen him was Viktoria, and that wasn't fair to the rest of them. I wondered if I could talk him into taking a trip back to Russia. I wouldn't mind going back. He'd always told me back at the academy that he'd take me, and then everything went downhill, but I miss his family too. I'd love to get to see all of them again. I sighed. I sat around my room before I decided that I needed some fresh air. I walked out onto the back deck, and sat down on the railing, bringing my knee's up and staring out over the mountains. I wasn't sure how long I sat there, before I heard the door open, and Dimitri walked out.

"Hey there." He said, shutting the door behind him.

"Hey."

"You okay?" He asked, walking over to me. I nodded.

"I'm fine." I assured him.

"Then what are you doing out here all alone?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Just wanted some fresh air, and somewhere to think."

"Uh-oh. Thinking is never good with you." He teased. I chuckled. I reached out for his hand, intertwining our fingers.

"I love you." I said, looking up at him thoughtfully.

"I love you too, Roza." He said. If only he knew what I was working up too.

"Would you take a trip with me?" I asked.

"I'd go anywhere with you, Roza. You know that."

"You promise?" I asked. Here I was trying to sucker him in with promises. I knew it wouldn't work on him when I told him where I wanted to go, where I wanted to take him.

"Of course… where are we-." He cut himself off, obviously realizing where I was heading with this. "Roza…"

"Dimitri, you need to see them. You can't keep avoiding it. You're their son."

"I can't, Roza." He told me.

"You came back from the undead. You survived hours of torture last night, but you're scared of facing your family." I said.

"You don't understand. I told you, they hold me up to higher expectations than even you do. The things I did when I was a strigoi, on top of what I did to you after, they're going to be about as forgiving as you were when you came back. They're not going to want to hear my excuses, or what I have to say. They're going to be disappointed, and I'm not going to be able to take that." He said, shaking his head. He took a few steps away from me, turning his back to me.

"Dimitri, they're not going to be disappointed in you. They'll understand, probably better than I did. They have pure hearts like yours. They'll understand."

"They won't. I was the only male in the family till Paul. They hold me up higher than they do the rest of them. They expect more out of me and what I did to you… they won't forgive me."

"They will..." I said, climbing down off the railing and walking over to him. I stepped in front of him, and took his face in my hands. "They'll forgive you, and you wanna know why?" I asked. His face was a question mark. "Because I forgave you. That's why they'll forgive you. Regardless of what happened, we overcame it. We conquered, like we always do. That is why they'll forgive you." I told him.

"You seem so sure."

"Your family took me in, showed me what I was looking for when I didn't even know, when I went after you in Siberia. I was looking for you, and I found you in every single one of them. They took me back in when I left here, trying to get away from you. I know them. I know their hearts almost as good as I know yours. I know they'll forgive you, and that's all there is." I told him.

"I'm either a sucker for your pretty face, or your logic and reasoning skills have become a lot better." He said, touching my face.

"I think it's a mixture of both." I teased. He smiled and cupped my face in his hands, pressing his lips to mine.

"God, I've missed this." He said.

"I know, but we're together now. We fixed it, and we conquered. That's what matters now." He nodded once, and intertwined our fingers as we headed back inside.


	21. Nerves!

We decided to wait a little bit to let Dimitri heal before we'd take our trip. Lissa arranged our flight on the court jet so we wouldn't have to go through nasty airport security and all kinds of stuff like that. Plus, after my first expedition to Russia, I really just despised airports. It was about two weeks after I talked him into the trip, that we started packing for our trip. He packed his stuff and brought his bag to my room so we could leave together. He laid on my bed as I packed my things.

"You're sure you want to do this?" He asked. I smirked at him.

"I'm absolutely positive. You're not going to talk me out of this."

"I think I might need some more time to heal. I'm still a little sore, and I just got my stitches out of a few days ago. Maybe we should wait another week or ten." He tried. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I've never seen you so scared of anything… its kind of adorable." I told him.

"You're wrong. I've been more scared before… you were just kind of… not in your right mind when it happened." He said. I stared at him for a second, thinking back to the academy and realized he was talking about when he found me in that house in Spokane. I just nodded, and averted my attention back to my suitcase. "I'm sorry… I shouldn't have brought that up." He apologized.

"No, it's okay. I just miss him. Jesse brought him up the other night too. Eddie punched him in the mouth."

"You're not going to hit me… are you?" He asked, smirking.

"And damage you're gorgeous face? I think not." I said, walking over to where he was laying on my bed, and kissing him. He pulled me down, so I ended up falling on top of him. I giggled as he pulled the hair-tie out of my hair, and ran his hands through it. "Hey..."

"I hate your hair when it's up." He admitted.

"Why? It's either that or cut it all off." He growled and rolled over, putting himself on top of me.

"If you ever cut your hair while I'm still breathing on this Earth, I will hurt you, Rosemarie Hathaway." He told me. I wrinkled my nose at him.

"You know I don't like it when you call me that, Guardian Belikov." He grimaced and a low growl left his throat.

"You know I hate it when you use titles." He muttered.

"You started it." I told him, smirking.

"And like always, you finished it." He said. I giggled.

"Exactly." I said, sitting up on my elbows. "I have to finish packing… get off me." I pushed him playfully. He rolled his eyes, and got up, letting me up. I finally continued packing, which seemed to be taking forever with him here.

"Are you excited?" He asked me. I looked up at him, and shrugged.

"To see your family again, of course… but to be taking a trip to Russia, with you, it's something I've always dreamed of. So, I'm a little more than excited." I admitted.

"As nervous as I am… I'm just happy that I get to show you around where I grew up." He told me. I smiled.

"When I first met your family, when I first went into your home… all I kept thinking was 'I can see him living here, sleeping in this bed, and sitting at that kitchen table.' I could see it all. It made me ache that much more." I confessed. He smiled, and opened his arms to me. I walked around the bed, and into them.

"I'm here now, and that's what matters." He whispered. I nodded.

"I know." I kissed his nose, and got up, zipping my suitcase and shoving it into the living room with his. I then went back in and crawled into bed beside him. "Are you ready for tomorrow?"

"I'm about as ready as I'm going to get." He admitted. I giggled.

"You'll have me."

"I know, but that doesn't make me any less nervous." He admitted. I smiled.

"They're going to forgive you." I whispered, touching his face.

"But what if they don't?"

"What if they don't? Which they will. We'll spend a week or two in Russia together, and come back here, and life will resume as normal. Nothing will change because of it. It'll hurt you, yes… I know, but I'll be here for you, and so will everyone else. It's not going to be a problem though, I assure you. Your family would be hurt if they knew you were this upset about it." I told him. He frowned, knowing I was right.

"We should probably get some sleep. We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow." He said.

"Way to evade a subject." I told him, smirking. "I've taught you well."

"Shut up, and go to sleep." He said. I rolled over, straddling him and holding him to the bed where he couldn't move. I pinned his arms above his head where he had no real control of his body. I knew if he wanted to fight me off, he would. He didn't though.

"You better watch the way you talk to me sir. You don't want to make me angry, because I might have to hurt you." I told him.

"Oh yeah?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah." I snapped playfully. He pushed himself up and kissed me, which caught me off guard. I released him, and wrapped my arms around his neck, as he rolled over, putting himself on top of me. He reached up and knotted his fingers into my hair. I smiled against his lips as our kisses deepened. I sensed where this was heading, and fast. I cupped his face and pushed away.

"We need to go to bed, we've got a long day ahead of us." I quoted him in an attempt to mimic his voice.

"I lied. I found something else we need to do." I shook my head.

"Not tonight. We need to sleep. I'm not getting an hour of sleep before I have to get on a plane." I told him. His bottom lip quivered.

"But I-."

"You'll live." I assured him, pushing myself up onto my elbows as he sat up.

"You're not nice."

"But you love me."

"I know." He muttered. I giggled. I got up and changed into a pair of shorts, and crawled into bed beside him.

"I love you, Dimitri."

"I love you too Roza." He assured me. I smiled and curled into him, closing my eyes and slowly falling asleep. It wasn't long before I felt myself slipping into a spirit dream. When the dream fully came into my view, we were somewhere I recognized, although I couldn't quite put my finger on where exactly we were.

"Hey there, little dhampir."

"Hey… where are we?" I asked, looking around. The setting was very familiar. It was like I was having this weird sense of Déjà vu.

"You don't remember?" He asked. I looked around, taking in everything.

"I do, but I can't remember for sure. I know I've been here before." I told him. He nodded.

"You have." He said, smirking.

"Just tell me where the hell we are." I snapped at him. He chuckled.

"This is the exact place we met."

"We're at the ski lodge." I told him, looking around once again. I smiled.

"This is the exact place we met, isn't it?" He nodded.

"The day that changed my life forever." He told me. I rolled my eyes.

"Why'd you bring me here?"

"Change of scenery." He said, shrugging. I nodded.

"I haven't been in a spirit dream in awhile. It feels weird."

"I know. I've kinda kept to myself lately. I try not to act like Freddy Kruger as much as possible."

"Oh that's a load of crap. You used to stalk my dreams all the time." I snapped at him. He chuckled.

"Yeah, I know. So, are you excited for your trip?"

"Of course." I told him. "Dimitri isn't as excited."

"Yeah, Lissa told me he's kind of nervous." He said.

"I can't blame him, but it's gonna be alright. I know it is." I said.

"You're normally right about these things." He told me. I laughed.

"I'm always right." He rolled his eyes.

"How long are you going to be gone?"

"A week, maybe two depending on how things go." I said.

"I'll miss you." He told me. I smiled.

"Awe, I'll miss-." I stopped. "Who am I kidding; I'm glad to be away from you." I teased. He growled.

"You're not a nice person."

"You know I love you, and you know I'm kidding. I'll be back though." I told him. He nodded.

"Well, I'll let you sleep. I just wanted to wish you farewell. You guys have fun, and tell Dimitri I said good luck."

"I will do that. Love you, Adrian."

"Love you too." He said, before the dream world faded. I snuggled back into Dimitri's side, and fell into my own dreams, but it wasn't long before my alarm was going off next to my bed, meaning we had an hour till we had to be on the plane. _Damn._

"Roza?" Dimitri murmured.

"Sleep." I groaned.

"I can turn it off and we can stay here."

"You ass." I muttered, smirking. I moaned as I stretched and sat up. The sun was up, meaning I should be asleep. I sighed. "We couldn't have gotten a later flight." I mumbled as I threw my legs off the side of the bed.

"Your idea, remember that." He said, as he got up. We both got dressed, and I went into the bathroom to do my hair. "Leave your hair down." He told me as I ran a brush through it.

"Why?"

"Just leave it down, please." He said, smirking.

"Fine." I muttered. He chuckled. I put a little bit of make-up on and turned to him.

"I'm ready."

"Good, because we have to be there in like fifteen minutes." He said, looking at his watch. I rolled my eyes.

"Lets go then." I said. We grabbed our bags, and headed out to the runway, where Lissa and Christian were waiting for us.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.

"Wishing you a safe trip, and saying goodbye."

"Unfortunately." Christian muttered, rubbing his eyes.

"Awe, fire boy, you woke up this early to say good-bye too little ole me. I'm touched."

"Shut up, Rose." He said, a smirk creeping to his face. I hugged both of them as we took our bags on board.

"Be safe, and have fun." Lissa said, hugging me.

"You gonna be alright here on your own. I know I'm leaving you."

"Christian can take care of me." She said.

"Not when he's half-asleep." I said, motioning to him. She giggled. Dimitri hugged her, and we boarded the plane, taking our seats, and settling in. I snuggled into his arms and sighed.

"You're not gonna lose it on me like you did the last time we were on a plane together, are you?" He asked, referring to when I was seeing ghosts. I chuckled.

"No, I haven't had that problem in a long time. I flew halfway across the world to find you once, and didn't have that problem, so I doubt it's going to happen now."

"Good, because I remember that last time it happened and I was worried. All I knew was that something was wrong with you, and I couldn't fix it. I didn't like being that helpless." He said. I smiled and touched his face.  
>"I love you." I murmured.<p>

"I love you too. Now, take a nap. I'm sure you're going to want to be wide awake when we get there." He said. I reached up, and kissed him, before laying my head in his lap, and slowly falling asleep. I wasn't sure how long I was out, but I felt Dimitri twitching, and fidgeting a lot. When I opened my eyes, I looked up to see him looking straight forward, stony expression on his face, much like the one he used to give me back at the academy. Something was wrong.

"What is it?" I asked him. I glanced out the window, and back down at me.

"Remind me, why I'm doing this again? Why I was stupid enough to let you drag me on this plane."

"Dimitri Belikov, you listen to me. This is your family. The woman that gave birth to you, and your sisters, the woman that made you into the man you are today. You owe it to them. They went months knowing you were strigoi, knowing you were dead to their world. You don't know how much that devastated them. Now, you're back. The only one that's seen you is Viktoria. The rest of them miss you. I know how much they miss you, because I was there once. They're going to forgive you because they love you, just like I forgave you because I love you. When we get there, and you see all of them, you're going to realize how stupid all your fear was." I promised him. He just nodded.

"Okay." He murmured. I squeezed his hand in mine, and sat up to kiss him.

"You'll see… everything is going to be okay. I promise you that." He just nodded. It wasn't long before I plane was landing. I could see the tension in his body as we got off the plane and into the cab. As we drove through the city, I remembered little things, placed I'd gone, searching for him. Dimitri told me about times him and his mother had come into the city, but it didn't happen often.

"I remember being here when I was looking for you."

"I do too." He said, looking away from me.

"It didn't take you as long to find me." I said, smiling slightly.

"I don't want to talk about this." He said, his body becoming more rigid. I placed a hand on his knee.

"Is that another reason why you don't want to be here? It reminds you of-." He nodded.

"I didn't even think about… I'm sorry." He smiled.

"It's not a big deal. Court reminds me of that too, along with Vegas, and numerous places. It isn't just here." He told me. I just nodded. When we got to the hotel, we took our stuff inside, and freshened up after the long plane ride. I started to call for a cab when the hotel phone rang. When I answered it, a familiar voice came through the receiver.

"Hello little one."

"Hey there old man. Guess whose back?" I said, smiling. Dimitri obviously figured out it was my father.

"You going to visit the Belikov's?"

"Nope, I'm hunting down a strigoi again." I teased. He went silent for a second. "I'm kidding, Abe. Jeez."

"You can call me dad." He said.

"Like I said, don't count on it."

"You need a car?"

"I do." I told him.

"One's waiting out front for you. It's yours while you're here." He said.

"Awe, Abe. How sweet." I said. I could tell he was hoping for a 'thanks dad.'

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get used to the spoiling." He told me.

"Bye dad." I said, hanging up before he could comment. Dimitri smirked.

"Dad?"

"Shut up. We'll never talk of that ever again." I said, smirking. He chuckled. "You ready?"

"I guess so." He said. I offered him my hand, and he took it as we headed downstairs and to the car. I could feel how nervous he was, but I gave up trying to convince him there was no need in it. I'd let him see for himself.


	22. Complete!

When we got outside, there was a man waiting beside what looked like a nice sports car. He looked at me, and obviously realized I was related to Abe. We did sort of resemble each other, not that I'd ever admit that out loud.

"You must be Ms. Hathaway."

"Yes sir." I said, smiling.

"These belong to you then. Enjoy." I nodded, and handed them to Dimitri.

"Take me home." I told him. He chuckled and walked over to the car, opening the passenger door for me. I smiled.

"Aren't you the gentleman?" I said.

"I have my moments." He said, before slamming the door. He walked around and got in, starting the car. As he pulled out of the hotel, his body got more and more tense. I kept him talking though, as we drove past things, hoping it'd keep his mind off the things he didn't want to think about while he was here. To be quite honest, there were a few places that I'd traveled while I was here that I wanted to go back too. Like, Novosibirsk, to the bridge, and maybe… even back to the estate to see what became of it. When we entered Baia, his grip on the steering wheel tightened, turning his knuckles white. I reached over a placed a hand on his knee.

"You can do this. I promise, everything's going to be fine." I said.

"I trust you." He murmured, glancing at me. I smiled.

"Then you know I wouldn't have asked you to come here had I thought anything bad was going to happen. You're going to love me for this later, I promise."

"I love you now." He said, smirking. I rolled my eyes.

"You know what I meant." I told him. When we reached the house, he pulled up beside it so it wouldn't be seen from the windows. I told him to let me go first and talk to them before I thrust him on them. He looked like he was ready to run, so I made him promise me he wasn't going to disappear when I went to the door. He thought I was joking when I told him he looked like he was ready to all out sprint away from here as fast as he could. When I got to the door, I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the onslaught of hugs and such I would encounter. I knocked on the door a few times, and stepped back. I heard footsteps, and then the door opened, revealing Olena. _Awesome, just the one I wanted. _

"Roza." She said.

"Miss me?" I asked. She flung herself out the door, wrapping her arms tight around me.

"Gosh, of course I've missed you. How have you been? How's court? How's-." She stopped. She looked at me for a second, as if I was a puzzle she was trying to solve. "Why are you here?"

"Why do you think I have some motive? Maybe I missed you." I told her. She gave me a look much like Dimitri would have. "I have a present for you."

"What are you talking about?" She asked.

"Stay right here." I told her. She nodded. "Sorry I couldn't wrap it by the way. That would have been fun." I called as I walked around the house.

"You ready?" I asked him. He nodded, and took a deep breath.

"I love you." I murmured. He smiled.

"I love you." He told me, as he cleared the house, and came into view of his mother.

"Olena… I brought him home to you." I told her. She stood there, frozen. Dimitri squeezed my hand, and I squeezed back.

"Dimka…" She whispered.

"Hey momma." He said. It was the cutest thing I've ever heard leave his mouth. She took a few steps towards him, and stopped, took a few more and stopped, till she was finally right in front of him. A few tears ran down her face.

"It's really you. It's my baby." She whispered.

"It's really me." He promised her. She wrapped her arms around him, and held him tight. I stepped away, giving them a moment. His face was glowing as a tear ran down his cheek.

"I thought I'd lost you forever. I never thought I'd get to see you again, and here you are, your back." She turned and took my hand. "She brought you back to me."

"Oh, let's not make much ado about nothing here." I said, smiling. I walked over to him, and wiped the tears off his face. He smiled slightly at me, and kissed one of my hands as I removed it from his skin.

"Please, come inside… everyone is going to be excited that you're here, although I'm sure-." I cut her off.

"Yeva already knows." I muttered. "I'm surprised she didn't ruin my surprise."

"I hear an attitude. There must be a Hathaway around." I heard from inside the door. I smiled shaking my head. She obviously missed me.

"Ahh, Yeva… how do you get along without me?" I said, as she stepped into the doorway.

"I've missed you child." She said, smiling at me. Her eyes then found her grandson. They locked gazes for a moment, before he smiled.

"I'm home." Dimitri told her. She then shifted her gaze to me.

"I always knew you'd end up coming home after I met this one." She told him. He walked forward, wrapping his arms around his grandmother. "Это хорошо, что ты дома, Димка"

"Это хорошо, чтобы быть дома." They had their little Russian exchange, which bothered me, because I had no idea what they were saying. Of course, Yeva knew that.

"Welcome home, Dimka." Olena said, as she led us into the house. The feeling of being back here overwhelmed me, but I could only imagine what it was doing to him. I saw a small boy I soon recognized to be Paul walk into the room and freeze. When he saw me, he smiled but the moment he saw Dimitri, fear filled his eyes. I remembered how upset he was when I'd broken the news to him about Dimitri's death. This couldn't have been easy on him.

"Uncle Dimka…" He whispered, the words barely audible. Dimitri could see the fear in the boy's eyes.

"Hey there kid." Dimitri replied, hiding whatever he was feeling from Paul and me. I could tell the fearful look Paul had given him had hurt him.

"They… they said you were dead. She told us you were a strigoi. Then, Yeva and Viktoria told me you came back. Then Rose told me you came back, and I didn't know what to believe." He told him, stuttering over his words.

"Does he look strigoi, Paul?" I asked.

"No… he looks like my Uncle Dimka!" Paul exclaimed, running and jumping into Dimitri's arms. I smiled as Dimitri spun him around.

"Gosh, have I missed you kid. You're so grown up now, jeez. You must be a lady killer now, huh?" Dimitri teased.

"Awe, Dimka, knock it off… He's not old enough for that yet." Viktoria said. I looked up and smiled. "I knew it wouldn't be long before you two found your way back here." She said, hugging us both.

"Where are Sonya and Karolina?" I asked. I looked up and saw Karolina step out from the hallway. She had the same look of fear in her eyes as Paul had. Dimitri set Paul back down, and looked at his sister.

"Hey Karolina." I said. She nodded at me, her eyes never leaving her brother. Sonya then entered the room, and I watched as so many things crossed her face.

"God…" She whispered.

"Nope, just Dimitri and I." I told her, smiling.

"When they told me you'd been restored… I didn't, couldn't believe it. The Russians know magic, in Baia especially, but I didn't know that kind of magic existed, but I see now it's true." She said, like she wasn't talking to anyone in particular. She then ran into her brothers arms. He held her close, causing Paul to join in the hug as well, wrapping his tiny arms around their waists. I heard footsteps, and saw a small child run out and to Karolina. It was then I realized it was Zoya. She'd grown a lot since I'd last been here. Dimitri took a few steps towards his middle sister, making them slow and deliberate, careful not to scare her.

"Who's this?" He asked.

"Zoya..." Karolina answered.

"She's beautiful. She looks just like you."

"No…she looks like all of us." Viktoria answered. Dimitri nodded.

"She's a Belikov, no doubt." When he was right in front of her, she reached out a tiny hand to him, and he offered her his own. Karolina looked like she was ready to drop the baby and run.

"Hey there, beautiful." Dimitri cooed. He then looked up at his sister.

"You don't have to be afraid of me, Kar." He told her. She shook her head.

"I have to go." She said, walking around him and towards the door.

"Karolina, wait-." I started, but she didn't stop. She walked right past me and out the door. Everyone stared after her.

"She'll come around." Viktoria promised him, patting him on the back. I debated on going after her, knowing she was going to need some reassurance right now, but by the look on Dimitri's face, he needed me as well. Olena hugged him again, catching him off guard.

"It's so good to have you home, Dimka." She turned to me. "Thank you so much. This is such a wonderful surprise. I couldn't imagine a greater gift." She said, squeezing her son.

"Like I said, if I could have wrapped him for you, I would have." Dimitri rolled his eyes.

"How do you put up with that?" Yeva asked him, teasingly. He smiled.

"It's not without effort." He told her.

"Hey!" I complained. He chuckled. "You know you have your moments too cowboy." I told him. He narrowed his eyes at me.

"Let's not discuss that here." He snapped. We all smiled. It was obvious that things were starting to click in all of their heads. Olena was the first to bring it up, which surprised me. I figured Yeva would bring up the subject.

"So, you two are obviously on better terms than the last time I saw you… huh Rose?" Olena asked. I smirked.

"What can I say? Your son has a charm about him that I couldn't refuse for long." I said, taking his hand.

"I'm going to be sick." Viktoria muttered. I picked up a pillow off the couch and threw it at her.

"Very mature, Rose. I see you've grown up since the last time we saw you." Yeva said.

"How did you put up with that growing up?" I asked him.

"It wasn't without effort." He promised again. I laughed, causing Yeva to grimace at me.

"I love you, Yeva… don't doubt it." I told her. She rolled her knowing eyes at me.

"I'm glad to see you have found your way back to each other. We knew it wouldn't be long." Sonya said.

"You all really had that much faith in me?" He asked them. Viktoria smiled.

"When Viktoria returned and told us what was going on with you two at court, we knew it was only a matter of time. We just didn't know how much time. We're glad it didn't take long, because it meant we got to see you sooner." Olena said, hugging me again. I smiled.

"It feels good to be home." I told her.

"I'm glad you think so." I couldn't help notice that Dimitri's gaze kept flickering to the door. I could tell he wanted to go after her. He couldn't stand it.

"Go talk to her." I told him. He looked back at me, and nodded. He took a deep breath before starting out the door to go find his sister.

**DIMITRI'S POV**

When I walked outside, I started around the back of the house, taking a guess as to where she would be. I found her in that exact place too, by the tree she always hid behind when we played hide-n-seek when we were younger. She hid the same place every time, but no one would go find her there to make her feel good. Zoya was running around the base of the tree as Karolina watched her. She didn't hear my approach, so I spoke.

"I thought I might find you here." I said. She jumped, and turned to look at me. She was crying. She quickly wiped the tears, but they'd already been seen.

"I wanted to be alone."

"Are you afraid of me?" I asked her. She choked a laugh, and shook her head.

"No, I'm not afraid of you. Do I have a reason to be?"

"No… Then why are you-." She cut me off.

"You were dead. You were a strigoi, Dimitri. I went months thinking that you were dead. My only brother, one of my heroes was dead. I cried every night, and watched every one of them cry for months on end. Then, when Yeva told us you'd been restored, I didn't believe it. Not because I wanted you dead, but because I couldn't deal with it being true, and the same thing possibly happening again. You're here now, and you're alive, and that's great… but dealing with losing you once was hard enough. I can't deal with losing you again." She told me, shaking her head. I wasn't expecting this at all, so I had no idea how to console her.

"I'm not going anywhere-." She stopped me.

"No… but with your profession, you have no guarantee. The same thing could happen again, or you could die and be dead… really dead. Losing you once was bad, losing you twice will be impossible for all of us." She said, a sob threatening to break loose. She looked down, and with that surrender, I walked to her, and wrapped my arms around her.

"I'm sorry I left you. I'm back now though."

"I missed you so much. When Rose showed up, and told us you were dead… I lost it. You're my only brother, Dimitri. I can't take losing you." She said.

"You knew when I left to be Ivan's guardian that it was a possibility."

"But you never really think about it till it actually happens. Then it happened, and now you're here… and your dhampir again, but… now it's all I think about when you're away." She told me.

"I promise you… it's not going to happen again."

"How do you know that?" She asked.

"You think Rose would let anything happen to me?"

"She did the first time." She said. I felt like she'd struck me with a whip, and the jab wasn't even directed at me.

"She tried, if she would have came back for me, she would have been dead too." I said, almost snapped at her.

"Better her than you." She said.

"Karolina Belikov, I don't ever want to hear you talk like that ever again. I love her. I would not have let her die for me." I snapped at her this time. She just nodded.

"I know. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm acting this way. I just don't want to lose you." She said. Zoya walked over to me, and wrapped her arms around my leg.

"Hey there, little one." I looked at Karolina. "May I?" I asked. She nodded. I picked her up and smiled.

"I'm your Uncle Dimka." I said, she smiled and mumbled and made noises, obviously meaning she was happy. Karolina smiled.

"She likes you."

"Come inside… be a part of the family." I said, poking her. She nodded and followed after me as I carried Zoya inside. When I walked inside, Rose and my family were sitting around laughing at Paul as he spoke to Rose. Seeing them together, seeing how much they all loved her made my heart swell. It made me love her that much more. She looked up at me, and smiled.

"There you are. I was wondering where you two ran off." She said, standing. She walked over to Karolina, and opened her arms. Karolina hugged her.

"I'm sorry I ran out like that. Welcome home, Roza." She told her. I smiled at her as she released Karolina and walked over to me.

"Hey there little one." She cooed at Zoya. Zoya smiled, and touched Rose's face. Rose smiled, and opened her arms, asking if she could hold her. Zoya leaned out of my grasp and into hers. She took her out of my arms and spun he around, causing Zoya's silvery giggle to filter throughout the room. In this moment, my family was complete, and I couldn't be more happier.


	23. Matter Of Time!

We sat around the living room, talking for the longest time before Olena stood up.

"I should probably start on dinner since we have guests." She said.

"Olena, you don't have to cook for us. We can pick something up on the way to the hotel." I told her.

"Nonsense. Rose, do you honestly think I'd let you leave without feeding you?"

"No." I muttered. _Her and her damn hospitality._ Dimitri chuckled as he wrestled with Paul on the floor. When Dimitri finally let Paul win, he sat up, leaning his back against my knees where I sat on the couch. It was then that Paul dropped the bomb on us.

"Uncle Dimka?" He asked.

"Yes?"

"What's it like being a strigoi?" He asked him. Dimitri must have sensed my body tense up as soon as the question left his mouth.

"Paul!" Sonya scolded him. Dimitri shook his head and chuckled which completely caught me off guard.

"It's something you're never going to have to worry about." He told him.

"I still wanna know."

"Paul, it probably isn't something Uncle Dimka wants to talk about." Sonya told him. Dimitri looked up at me, and then back to Paul.

"When I was strigoi, I loved it… but now that I'm dhampir again, I realized how horrible it was. I did horrible things, things that I don't want to think about. It makes you feel strong and powerful, but it makes you do awful things, and the power isn't worth that."

"Dimka… did you kill people?" He asked.

"Paul, that's enough." Yeva said, obviously sensing Dimitri's unease. He didn't avoid the question like I expected him too.

"I did, and I feel horrible about it. If I could take it all back, and fix it, I would. I wasn't myself then. I was what the blood made me." He explained.

"Did you try and hurt Rose?"

"Alright Paul, it's time for your bath." Sonya said, standing up. I was glad I couldn't see Dimitri's face, because it probably would have broken my heart.

"I'm sorry… I didn't-." Dimitri cut him off.

"It's fine. Go get your bath." He told him. He stood up. "I need a minute." He said, heading outside. Sonya looked at me.

"Roza, I'm so sorry. I didn't-." I shook my head.

"It's okay. It's neither of your faults." She just nodded and tugged Paul down the hall to the bathroom. I got up, and started out the door after him. I found him sitting on the sidewalk, face in his hands. With each step I took, my heart broke a little more. I knew how his past made him feel. I knew that he'd tried to forget about it the best he could, but we knew he wouldn't be able to avoid it here.

"I just needed some fresh air." He told me. I didn't know he'd heard me come out. It surprised me when he spoke.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Roza." He promised, pulling his face out of his hands, but still not looking at me. I walked over to him, and sat down beside him in the sidewalk. I laid my head on his shoulder.

"You've forgiven yourself… Remember that." I said.

"I know."

"I've forgiven you… Remember that too." I told him. He looked over at me.

"When he asked me that… In my mind, I had flashbacks of every time I bit you, every time I tried to hurt you, every time I wanted to hurt you."

"That part of your life is over now. You never have to be that again." I said, taking his hand in mine.

"It doesn't make it go away though, Roza. I know it's over, and I've moved on, but it doesn't make it go away. It doesn't take away the nightmares, the images in my mind of all the people I've killed."

"Dimitri, it's never going to go away. You know that, I know that, and everyone in there knows that. I know it's hard, but you will push through it. The more you live, the farther away you get from that part of your life, the more you'll forget about everything that happened. You remember how much it affected me when Mason died, because I blamed myself. I still do, but the more I lived, the more I moved away from it, and the more I realized that the only thing I can do is get on with my life."

"What happened to Mason wasn't your fault, Roza." He told me.

"And what happened to those people wasn't your fault. You weren't you then. You said it yourself; you were what the blood made you. You can't take the blame for that. Nathan was to blame for that… not you." I told him.

"Don't speak his name." He almost growled at me.

"I hate him as much as you do… trust me. He took you away from me." I wrapped my arms around his waist, causing him to pull me into his arms. "It's going to be okay." I promised.

"I know." He murmured. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I smiled.

"This was where I always came to think when I first came here. This was where I plotted how I was going to find you, and what I'd do if I did. Obviously, my plan didn't go like I thought it would, but hey… can't say I didn't try."

"You would make jokes about something like this." He muttered.

"It's one of the reasons you love me." I said. He smirked down at me.

"We should probably go back inside." He murmured.

"Probably." I stood up, and offered him my hand. He took it and I pulled him up. He leaned down and kissed me gently.

"I love you." I murmured.

"As I love you." I interlaced our fingers as we walked back inside.

"I was wondering if you were coming back." Karolina said. He smiled.

"I just needed some fresh air." Dimitri told her.

"I'm gonna see if your mom needs help in the kitchen." I told him, releasing him. Olena was pulling plates out of the cabinet and trying to watch food on the stove at the same time.

"Let me get those." I told her, going to the cabinet, and grabbing them.

"Thank you, Roza. Just lay them there; I can set the table in a minute."

"I'll take care of it." I told her, going around the table and setting the plates in their designated places.

"You know how I feel about people helping me." She chastised me.

"And you know how I feel about people doing things for me as well. It's a common ground. We'll work with it." I told her. She smiled at me, reminding me so much of her son. I smiled back at her.

"How are you, Roza?" She asked, walking over to me.

"I'm actually really good."

"I'm so glad. Thank you so much for coming here, for bringing him." She said.

"He wouldn't have come had I not talked him into it." She nodded.

"I know."

"He was scared to come here." I told her. She gave me a strange look.

"Why? I don't understand." She said.

"He was afraid you all would be upset with him, that you wouldn't forgive him for what happened when he was strigoi, and even more so for what he did to me after I restored him." I told her. She shook her head.

"That sounds like my son." She said.

"I told him he was wrong. It took a lot of convincing, but I was finally able to get through to him."

"He's hard-headed."

"You all are." I told her, giggling. She laughed. Dimitri then entered the kitchen.

"Everything alright in here."

"Yepp, just laughing at your expense." I told him.

"Of course." He said, hugging his mother. I smiled.

"Tell everyone to wash up, dinners ready." She said. He nodded.

"Yes mom." He said, before walking out.

"I've missed him so much." She told me. I nodded.

"I know. I know how much you missed him when I was here the last time. I couldn't keep him from you. I knew you all would have done the same for me had the roles been reversed. I'm sorry it took so long." I told her. "I had a hard-headed moment as well when I returned to court…. For about a month or so." She smiled.

"We heard. I don't blame you, Roza. I honestly don't. I'm just glad you've forgiven him, and you're happy again."

"Me too. I always knew I'd end up back at court. From the moment I left, I knew I'd never truly be able to stay away." I told her.

"We all knew that too. When you said good- bye, we all knew you'd end up back there. Yeva especially."

"Of course." I muttered, smiling. Everyone piled into the dining room, and took a seat. Olena smiled.

"Our first family dinner, all of us together." She said. Everyone smiled, all eyes on Dimitri and me. I smiled.

"It's an honor."

"It shouldn't be… you're a part of our family, Roza. You were one of us the moment they brought you here on your first visit." I felt my face get hot. Dimitri smiled at me.

"Rose and Dimitri sitting in a tree…" Paul started.

"Hey… you shut your mouth." Dimitri snapped at him playfully. Paul stuck his tongue out at him, and smiled. Sonya shook her head.

"Boys, behave." Olena said. They both laughed. When we were done eating, I cleared the plates off the table, and started to wash them.

"Rose, I can do that."

"You go sit down and talk to your son. You've been on your feet since we got here. I can do this." I told her. She narrowed her eyes at me. "I'm a part of the family. I need to lend a hand."

"Fine… but don't count on it happening again." She told me. She smiled and walked into the living room as I washed the dishes. There were more dishes than I expected, but I didn't have a problem helping out. When I was almost done, Dimitri walked in and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"You doing okay?"

"I'm fine." I told him. He pressed a kiss to my throat.

"Thank you so much for this."

"What'd I tell you?" I asked, glancing at him.

"I know, I know. Like always, you're right once again."

"I know, I know." I said. I yawned as I dried the last dish and put it away.

"We should probably head back to the hotel huh?"

"If you want to stay longer, we can." I told him. I yawned again, causing him to chuckle.

"We can go. You look tired, and it's been a long day." He said. I just nodded. I dried my hands and followed him into the living room.

"Thank you for the help, Roza." Olena said. I smiled.

"Wasn't a problem."

"So, we're going to head back to the hotel, but we'll be back tomorrow." He told them.

"You promise. I don't want you to go yet." Paul said, running over to us.

"We'll be back tomorrow." Dimitri said. I knelt down to him.

"I'll bring him back to you tomorrow. I promise." I told him. He hugged me.

"Thank you Roza." He said. I smiled.

"We'll see you guys tomorrow." I promised. We hugged everyone and headed out to the car. When we got in, I curled up in the passenger's seat, ready for the long drive back to the hotel. He took my hand in his, and intertwined our fingers as I slowly closed my eyes. I could feel him tracing little patterns on my hand with his thumb. I smiled to myself. When we got to the hotel, I felt his lips on my forehead.

"Roza, we're here." He said. I nodded, and sat up. I yawned and stretched and got out of the car. He wrapped an arm around my waist as he gave the keys to the valet. When we got to our room, I sat down on our king sized bed.

"How are you?" I asked. He walked over to me, and cupped my face in his hands, pressing one of the sweetest kisses I've ever received from him to my lips.

"I'm amazing."

"I hate to say I told you so, but." He just smiled and kissed me again.

"I love you." He murmured when his mouth was free of mine.

"I know. I love you too."

"My family loves you too. Hell, I think they might love you more than me." I snorted.

"Did you see the way each of their faces lit up when the saw you? I doubt they love me more."

"My mother and grandmother both think highly of you. They hold you to a high standard." He said. I smirked.

"No pressure." I said. He smiled. "I know what Yeva expects of me. She knew when I showed up there the first time, that I was on a mission. She was my foundation that lead to me leaving there to come look for you."

"She has a knack for that."

"She was the only one that knew why I was there, in Siberia I mean." He nodded.

"Thank you so much for talking me into this."

"And all that stress you put on yourself. You probably sprouted a few grey hairs." I told him. He laughed, and pushed me back onto the bed, climbing over me, and bringing his mouth to mine. I reached up and knotted my fingers into his hair. When he pulled away, he pressed kisses down my neck, causing me to shudder. He slid his hands underneath my shirt, running his fingers lightly over the skin of my stomach. I knew where this was going, and this time, I didn't plan on stopping it. I ran my hands underneath his shirt and pulled it off over his head. He made an agitated sound at the separation of our lips. I smiled as he brought his mouth back to mine. Soon he was running his hands up my body, and pulling me up to remove my shirt. I scooted back on the bed, bringing him with me as I moved. He ran his hands down my body, exploring every plain that had been hidden to him for so long. When I removed my mouth from his, I kissed down his throat, his collar bone, his chest. He ran his hands behind me, and flicked the hook on my bra, pulling it away from me. As more clothes came off, the more comfortable I became under his hand. It was like the cabin all over again, not knowing where he ended and I began. It was –just like it's always been- us moving in sync, perfectly harmonized because we are so attuned to each other. I'd missed this, missed him, missed being this close to him. For over two years, I went thinking I'd never feel love of this magnitude ever again, but I was wrong. Thank God I was wrong. I don't know how I would have lived without this, without him. As we found our release, I curled up against him, his arms wrapped tight around me as if he were afraid I was going to disappear. He ran his hands through my hair, twirling it around his fingers.

"You're beautiful."

"You're amazing." I replied.

"I love you."

"As I love you." I told him, smiling up at him.

"You're my world."

"You're sucking up." I accused.

"I'm not sucking up. I'm just letting you know how much you mean to me." He said, tracing my collarbone.

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered. He chuckled.

"I can't imagine my life without you. I was scared I was going to have to live without you for awhile, and I didn't know if I could do it." He said.

"I knew I'd always find my way back to your arms. It was only a matter of time." I promised him, yawning.

"Get some sleep." He whispered into my hair. I nodded and curled up closer to him.

"Goodnight Roza."

"Night." I slurred as I slowly fell into unconsciousness.


	24. Always!

When I woke up the next morning, it was to an empty bed. I groaned. I hated waking up to a cold bed. I sat up and looked around to find the room empty. I walked over to the bathroom, and heard the water running. I smiled and opened the door, sneaking in. Well, I thought I snuck in.  
>"Roza?" He asked.<p>

"Who else would it be? Genius." I muttered. He chuckled and peaked his head out from around the shower curtain.

"Well good morning to you too sunshine." He said, smartly. I smiled.

"Room for one more in there?" I asked.

"Always room for you." He teased. I giggled and climbed into the shower with him. He pulled my face up to kiss me. "Good morning."

"Morning." I said. I sighed. "You know, I really don't like waking up to a cold bed."

"My most sincere apologizes, Roza."

"You better be sorry." I said, smirking. He chuckled.

"I'll make it up to you." He promised.

"How?" He pressed me up against the shower wall, bringing his mouth to mine, kissing me all too persuasively. The feel of his skin on mine was enough to make me want to take him back into the bedroom and have my way with him, but I knew I couldn't do that, because unfortunately, I promised his family I'd bring him back. When he pulled away, he smiled.

"Better?"

"Very." I told him. I started to kiss him again, but shook my head and stepped back.

"What?" He asked, obviously confused and disappointed by this gesture.

"If I keep this up, I'm not going to be able to deliver you back to your family today." I told him. It took him a second to understand what I was talking about before he smirked.

"I guess you're right."

"Aren't I always?" I asked, rhetorically. He answered, of course.

"Most of the time." He stated. I shook my head.

"Watch it Belikov." I teased. We showered, and got out, getting dressed. We grabbed a doughnut from the lobby and headed to the car. When the valet brought it, Dimitri slipped him a five, obviously in a much more chipper mood than he was the first time we left. I watched out the window as we passed by many places that were familiar to me, mostly from my first visit to Russia. I remembered nightclubs I'd went in, hoping he might show up there, or restaurants I ate it, when I knew I had no hope in hell of going to sleep that night. Dimitri obviously noticed that I was being quiet.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. Why?" I asked. He smiled.

"I turned your music onto a country station, and you didn't try and break my arm." He told me. To be honest, I hadn't even noticed the music switch until he mentioned it.

"Oh… I didn't notice." I told him.

"Exactly, meaning something's wrong." He stated, smiling.

"Nothing's wrong… I'm just reminiscing." I told him, glancing out the window.

"Oh?"

"Just thinking of how much of this place I've seen already, after my first trip here. You don't know how long I searched, or how far I searched. I remember a lot of these places." I informed him. He just nodded. "Are we going to have time to hang out here in the city?"

"Rose, we're not going to be at my parents every day for the next two weeks. Believe it or not, they will get tired of me."

"They worship you, I highly doubt it." I told him. He shook his head at me.

"Yes, Roza… we will have us time while we're here."

"Good, because I'll never get enough of that." I told him, smiling. He reached over and took my hand in his. When we got to the Belikov's house, Paul and Viktoria were outside throwing a football. When we pulled up, Paul's face lit up.

"Told you they worship you." I said, as I got out of the car.

"Dimka, you came back." Paul exclaimed, running up to the door as Dimitri opened it.

"I told you I'd bring him back." I told Paul, as I walked around the car. He smiled.

"You wanna throw the football with me Dimka."

"Sure." He said. I went inside, as Dimitri and Paul started throwing the ball back and forth.

"Back already, oh the joy." Yeva said, as I walked in the door. That woman became more and more like me every day.

"Yes, I didn't want to deny you guys my beauty and charm anymore than necessary."

"Where's Dimka?" Sonya asked.

"Outside playing catch with Paul."

"Paul's missed him so much. He's missed having a male figure in his life." She told me. I nodded.

"I know."

"Roza, your back." Olena said, walking into the living room. I smiled.

"Did you honestly doubt we were coming back?"

"I knew they'd be back." Yeva said. I rolled my eyes. "You keep doing that Rose, your eyes are going to get stuck in the back of your head."

"I'll take my chances." I told her, smirking. She shook her head at me. A few minutes later, Dimitri and Paul came in. Paul had a bad look on his face, when Sonya asked what, he pointed to his knee, which was all scraped up and bloody.

"Dimitri, what did you to do my son?" Sonya teased.

"He did it, I swear."

"Whatever. You threw the ball onto the road."

"I didn't mean to, and I didn't think you'd go after it." Dimitri tried. I laughed at their arguing. There was so much of Dimitri in Paul it was insane.

"Gosh Dimitri." Sonya pretended to chastise him. "You're almost as bad with him as you were with us."

"That's not true. I was much nicer to all of you." He said. I smirked.

"The truth finally comes out." I said. Sonya laughed.

"He didn't tell you how he used to abuse us did he? He used to talk us into doing stuff to get us in trouble. He was an instigator."

"Yeva always knew he did it, but she never said anything." Karolina accused.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Yeva said. It caused the entire living room to burst out into laughter. She took Paul into the bathroom to clean him up, as Dimitri sat down on the couch beside me.

"How are you?" Dimitri murmured to me as everyone broke off into their own conversations.

"I'm good." I assured him.

"What are you two mumbling about over there?" Viktoria asked.

"If it was any of your business we would have included you, huh?" I snapped, smirking at her.

"Ouch." Sonya said. You could tell I'd completely corrupted this family with my sarcasm. Dimitri just shook his head at me. We sat around, talking for the longest time, before Viktoria stood up.

"I'm bored."

"That's a personal problem." Dimitri said.

"Dimka, you better watch it." She chastised. I laughed.

"Beat him up, Vik." I said. I'd trained with her a little when I was here. I knew she wouldn't be able to take him down, but it would definitely be funny to watch.

"In her dreams." Dimitri said, poking me.

"I don't know. She got pretty good while I was here."

"Good enough to beat me?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Only one way to find out."

"Rose…" Viktoria said, obviously nervous that I was volunteering her to fight her brother.

"Come on, Vik, don't be shy."

"I'm not shy… I'm scared." She said, chuckling nervously.

"Do you honestly think I would hurt you?"

"Yes!" She exclaimed. He rolled his eyes at her.

"Come on." He said, getting up and moving towards the door.

"You're going to hurt me."

"I won't let him." I promised her. She nodded.

"Uh-huh. Like you'd save me… you couldn't beat him either." She said. I laughed out loud.

"I can. I have, and I do." He snorted.

"You got lucky."

"Lucky? I think not. It's skill." I told him.

"Let's test that out."

"You ain't gotta tell me twice." I said. I was up off the couch, following him outside, causing everyone else to follow. He stopped in the front yard, putting a good amount of distance between us.

"You sure about this, Roza? I don't want to hurt you." I smiled.

"I'll try not to break anything." I teased. We both crouched down into our defensive stance. He lunged first, like he always did. I deflected his movement, with a punch to the stomach. He took a few steps back, ready to stage his next move, when I started throwing a fury of punches and kicks, hoping to weaken him. He blocked a lot of them. Some of them he caught the full blow. He tried to land a punch to my shoulder, but when I tried to move out of the way, I wasn't quick enough and caught some of it to the face. He froze.

"Oh God, Roza… I'm sorry." I didn't let it slow me down. I never did. I took him to the ground, and placed my hands over his heart. If he were a strigoi, he'd be dead. He didn't care that he'd lost. His only concern was me, of course. "I didn't mean to hit you in the face. Roza, I'm sorry."

"Dimitri, you didn't hurt me. You of all people should know I wasn't going to let that stop me. You lost." I said.

"It's bruising." He told me.

"I've had worse. I'll live. It was an accident. Calm down." I told him, as I sat up. He propped himself up on his elbows. I stood up, offering him a hand, helping him up as well. I planted my feet, making sure he wasn't going to try any sneak attacks, but he didn't.

"Roza, are you sure you're-." I cut Olena off.

"You guys worry too much. I've endured worse, and I didn't catch the full blow to the face. I'm fine." I promised them. They all nodded, and we all made our way back to the house. Dimitri went into the kitchen and got me a bag of ice.

"Thanks." I muttered. He pulled my face to his, and kissed the place where his fist had connected.

"This hardly counts as domestic violence." I told him.

"It's not funny."

"I think it is." I told him. Yeva shook her head.

"Rose can find humor in anything."

"I think that's one of my best qualities." I snapped, smiling.

"Me too." Dimitri said. We chuckled. We sat around the house for a little while, watching TV, talking, just having out when I became bored. I think Dimitri noticed.

"You want to go?" He asked.

"Not if you don't. I'm fine." I told him.

"But you're bored."

"I'm not… bored." I tried.

"You are. We'll go to the city, and drive around. We'll come back later." He said. I just nodded. He told Olena and Yeva what we were going to do, and we headed out. As we started into the city, I noticed that Dimitri became sort of tense. It was then I knew why. We drove past the corner that he'd found me on that night.

"That's where-." He just nodded.

"There's something I want to do before we leave here." I told him. He turned to me, and gave me a look. He knew whatever it was I was going to say, probably wasn't something that he wanted to do. I knew for a fact that he didn't want to, but I felt that I needed to do it, that it was something I had to do to close that part of my off forever, and that part of his life as well.

"What?" He finally asked. I took a deep breath before turning to him.

"I want to go back to the estate."


	25. Closure!

The look on Dimitri's face spoke legions. I knew it wasn't something he'd want to do, but after everything that had happened, I felt he needed to go to it. To see it, and realize that he wasn't what that place, what the blood made him anymore. I knew he'd forgiven himself, but he still had his moments, and I knew that in order for me to move on from that part of my life, he would have to too.

"You're… you're kidding right? Please, tell me you're kidding." He said. He pulled into a parking space in the parking garage, and shut off the car.

"I'm not kidding, Dimitri." I told him, looking at his face. I watched as he tried to slip his guardian mask on, but he failed horribly. "I think we need-."

"We don't need to go back to that place, Rose. That was a time of my life I don't want to reflect upon."

"Will you listen to me?" I snapped. "You need closure, and the only way for you to get that is to go back, to see that the feelings that place brought out in you when you were strigoi, aren't there anymore. You're past that part of your life, but not completely. Yesterday proved that much. We don't have to stay long; I just want you to see, to show you." I told him.

"Why are you always making me do things I don't want to do?" He groaned, laying his head back against the seat.

"You know, you said the same thing about coming here, and look how happy you are to be here, to be with your family. You always doubt me, but I'm promising you… this will help." I told him, laying my hand over his.

"I don't think-."

"If you don't go with me, then I'll go by myself." I told him.

"No… You will not!" He growled at me. I smirked slightly at the reaction that it brought out in him.

"Tomorrow… at dawn." I said.

"Roza…" He moaned.

"Do you trust me?" I asked him.

"With everything."

"Good, remember that." I said, as I got out of the car. I heard him slam his fist against the steering wheel before he opened the door and got out, walking up to me.

"You're lucky I love you is all I've got to say."

"It may be hard to see now, but I'm doing this for you." I promised him. "Just like I brought you here, for you."

"Okay." He mumbled as he took my hand and we began walking up and down the streets, going in and out of Siberian shops, and different places. Dimitri loved showing me around, but I could tell what I was going to have him do tonight was still on his mind. He talked like it wasn't bothering him, but I could tell that it was. He called his mother after we were done walking around and told her we were tired and was going to head back to the hotel and take a nap. She said that was fine, and she'd see us later. When we got back to the hotel, we curled up in bed. We laid in silence for the longest time, just gazing into each other's eyes, probably trying to guess what the other was thinking, although… I was already pretty sure I knew what he was thinking. I normally did. Finally, I broke the silence.

"You okay?"

"Right now? Yes. In a few hours, I probably won't be." I took his face in my hands.

"Would I make you do this if I didn't think it wasn't for the greater good? This will help you. Regardless of what you think, I don't do things to torture you." I told him.

"Really? Sometimes… I think you do." He teased. I smiled.

"Okay, sometimes… I do. This isn't one of those times." I curled up against him, and let my eyes drift shut. It wasn't long before my alarm was going off. I heard Dimitri groan as soon as I moved.

"No… I don't wanna. Let's stay here and sleep."

"Dimitri… come on." I said, slapping the alarm clock. I got up, and threw my hair up in a pony tail. He got up, and freshened up a little bit, before we headed out to the car. The drive into Novosibirsk seemed a lot longer than I remembered. When we reached the park and the bridge, we parked and got out, knowing we couldn't get to the estate by car. The moment I stepped onto the bridge, a flood of memories hit me like a battering ram. Dimitri stood behind me, still not stepping onto the bridge quite yet. I remembered this night most of all. I thought I'd killed him. I thought I'd done what I set out to do. It was the night I fully gave up any hope that my Dimitri was still in there.

"You okay?" I asked him. He stared down at the rushing water below the bridge. I took a few steps forward, reaching out to him. "Dimitri? Come on." He reached out, and took my hands in his own. I walked backwards a few steps, pulling him onto the bridge. His entire body was tense, and he was squeezing my hands tight. "That part of your life is over."

"I know." He murmured, his voice soft and gentle. We were half way across the bridge when he stopped and turned to the railing. "This is where you threatened to jump off."

"It was. This is where I staked you… kind of."

"I wanted to be dead after I hit the water." He admitted. "The silver, plus the water was hell."

"I'm sorry."

"You did the right thing, trying to kill me instead of letting me kill or awaken you." He told me.

"I know. I knew you; the real Dimitri wouldn't want me to give up." I whispered.

"And you didn't."

"And here you stand." I said, smiling slightly. He nodded once. We crossed over the bridge, and headed out through the forest. With every step closer we got to the estate, Dimitri's body became more and more tense. I squeezed his hand for reassurance. When the house came into view, he yanked me to a stop.

"I don't think I can do this, Roza. I really don't."

"I believe in you." I murmured. I pulled his face down to look at me. Our faces were only inches apart now. "You can do anything, Dimitri Belikov. I know you can do this." I pulled his mouth to mine, and kissed him, my lips brushing against his gently.

"You have too much faith in me." He murmured, laying his forehead against mine.

"It's well deserved." I promised. "Listen, we don't have to get close, or go inside. I just want to be able to see it."

"I can see it from here."

"Dimitri." I chastised.

"Fine." We walked a little closer, ending up right at the edge of the garden. The garden that the strigoi had so insightfully places there so their escapees couldn't get away. I'd made it out… but barely.

"This place is a lot more beautiful that I remember." I said. Dimitri made a disgusted face. "Don't look at me like that."

"I remember everything here… all the people I brought here and killed… having you here. I remember every room, every door code, where everything was." He murmured, as if he were talking to no one in particular.

"Do you remember how you felt about this place when you were strigoi?" I asked him.

"This was home." He muttered.

"Where's home now Dimitri?"

"Back at court with you." He said, looking at me.

"Do you remember what you wanted to do when you were a strigoi?" I asked him.

"I wanted to kill and feed."

"What do you want to do now?" I asked.

"I want to protect people, help people."

"When you had me held captive here… what did you want to do to me?" I asked, taking his hand in mine.

"I wanted to awaken you."

"What do you want to do to me now?" I murmured.

"I want to love you for the rest of my life." He answered simply, without hesitation.

"See… this, what happened here… it's the past. It happened and there's nothing you can do. The only way you can fully get on with your life is face the fact that what happened here is over. You can't change it, you can't go back. You have to move on from it. It's changed you, and we all know that. Becoming a part of the undead isn't something to be taken lightly, but it's also made you into who you are today. What happened here was horrible, but you can't let it bring you down, when you've got a whole life a head of you, a whole life with me. It's been forgiven… you've got to let it go."

"Why did you bring me here today?" He asked me. I met his gaze.

"Because in order for me to move on from this, to fully let it go… I needed you to have closure, to do the same thing. I can't let go if you're still hanging on."

"You're right." He murmured. I smiled slightly.

"I need you to move on from this."

"I will. I'll do it for you." He said. I shook my head.

"Don't do it for me. You need to do this for you."

"I can. I will." He promised me. I smiled.

"I love you." I murmured.

"I love you too, Roza." I took his hands in mine, intertwining our fingers.

"That's another difference between now and then. Then, you wanted me, like a possession. Now, you want me because you love me."

"This is true." He said. I smiled.

"We can go now." I told him. He stared walking away, looking back once or twice at the estate. He looked like he was deep in thought as we walked, but I didn't ask. I was letting him keep to himself. When we got back to the car, he pulled me into his arms.

"Thank you, Roza." He murmured.

"For?"

"Bringing me here, for helping me move on from this." He said.

"I told you, didn't I?"

"Once again, you were right." He told me. I nodded and buried my face into his chest.

"I'll always be right." I promised him. He chuckled.

"Come on, let's go home and get some sleep." I nodded. The drive back to the hotel was pretty quiet. He didn't say much, but he held my hand the entire way back. I knew today was hard on him, but I sincerely think I got through to him. I was glad. I needed him to do this, not just for me, but for himself. He made me so proud. I don't think I've ever been more proud of him than I was in this moment. I'd always known Dimitri was strong. I'd known it from the moment I met him, but today… he proved to me just how really strong he was. He'd always said that he wasn't Superman, that he wasn't invincible, but in my eyes, he was that and so much more. When we got back to the hotel, we headed inside and changed, curling up in bed. He wrapped his arms around me, and laid his head against my chest.

"Your heartbeat is the most beautiful sound in my world."

"Really? I thought the most beautiful sound in your world was that ridiculous country music you listen to." I teased. His laughter filled the room, wrapping around me like a blanket.

"No, that's the second most beautiful sound."

"Oh, okay." I said, running my hands through his hair. "You wanna know what the most beautiful sound in my world is?"

"Sure." He told me. I smiled.

"The sound of your laugh."

"Really? Why?"

"Because, back at the academy, you never really laughed. I got a chuckle out of you, and a rare smile, but you never really laughed. When you were strigoi, you obviously didn't laugh, because you were too undead to find humor in anything other than death, but now… you're laugh… it's soothing. It lets me know you're alive, and you're all mine." I explained. He looked up at me. "And the second favorite sound in my world is when you call me Roza."

"You like that?" He asked. _Stupid question. _

"I remember the first time you ever called me that. I think that's why I like it so much." I admitted.

"The lust spell." He said, without thinking. I nodded.

"Every time you called me that back at the academy, it sent my heart into overdrive."

"And now?" He asked.

"Now, it just makes me smile. I love it when you call me that."

"My family calls you that too." He stated.

"I know. To them, it's a name… to me coming from you… it's more." I explained. He chuckled and kissed me.

"Get some sleep, Roza." He whispered. I nodded and cuddled into his side. "Sweet dreams." He murmured.

"They will be if you're in them." I teased. He kissed my forehead before I closed my eyes and drifted into unconsciousness.


	26. Not For Me!

I woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee. I opened my eyes to see Dimitri sitting in the chair next to the bed with a cup of coffee in hand.

"Good morning, Roza." I groaned.

"What time is it?"

"Ten." He informed me. I'd slept in.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked, as I sat up and stretched. He shrugged.

"It's a vacation. I figured I'd let you sleep. You look so cute when you sleep anyway. I couldn't stand to wake you."

"We're you 'gazing' again?" I teased. He picked up a pillow and threw it at me. I laughed.

"Don't be a jerk." He snapped, winking at me. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You're in a good mood this morning." I observed. He shrugged.

"I guess I am. I wake up beside you every morning, so how could I not be in a good mood in the morning?" I shook my head at him. I rolled out of bed, and walked over to where he was sitting in the chair, and plopped down in his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I love when you're in a good mood." He chuckled, cupping my face in his hands and bringing his mouth to mine. I wondered if he was sucking up because he wanted something, or if yesterday had actually been that much of a success. When I forced my mouth away from his, I laid my forehead against his. "I rest my case." He smiled and kissed my nose.

"We going to see my family today?"

"Of course. I feel bad that we ditched them yesterday." I told him.

"We didn't ditch them… We just got away from a little while." He tried. I laughed.

"Ditched." I repeated. He shook his head.

"I'll get dressed and we'll head over there."

"Alright." He said. I went to my bag, and grabbed a change of clothes. I got dressed and brushed my hair and teeth. I did a little bit of make-up and stepped out. We cleaned up the room a little bit before heading downstairs. When we got to the lobby, I saw a familiar face.

"Hello Rose." My father said.

"Hello Abe."

"How are you enjoying your stay?" He asked.

"It's been pretty good. It feels good to be back." I admitted. He nodded, and looked behind him. It was then I realized who it was.

"Sydney!" I exclaimed. She smiled slightly, obviously uncomfortable. I knew how she felt about Abe.

"Hey there, Rose."

"How are you?" I asked.

"I'm great." She said.

"I didn't expect you to hang around in Siberia. I figured you'd head off to Paris, or something like that."

"I've been trying. It isn't working." She looked at Dimitri who was standing beside me.

"Is this?" She started. She'd obviously been informed.

"Dimitri, yes. Dimitri, this is Sydney Sage. She helped me out a lot when I came here looking for you. She'd an alchemist." I said. Dimitri's eyes rose in surprise. Alchemist didn't exactly care for our kind, and for her to help me with that kind of quest was different.

"It's a pleasure. I've only one alchemist in my life." She nodded. Abe's eyes fell on Dimitri.

"How are you, Belikov?" Abe asked.

"Good sir, and you?" He asked. I could tell that he was trying to size Dimitri up. Abe was intimidating, I'll admit, but he was moroi, and Dimitri wasn't scared of anyone, especially a moroi. Sydney sensed what was going on, and smiled at me.

"I've been well, thank you. So, I hear you've been seeing my-."

"Abe, we have places to be." I said, quickly.

"Really? Where?" He asked. I smiled and figured I'd mess with him.

"My in-laws." I told him. I watched as his jaw almost hit the tile floor. Sydney giggled.

"Tell the Belikov's I said hello." She told me. I nodded.

"I will. See you around, Dad." I said, chuckling as Dimitri and I walked around them. I was really surprised I'd rendered him speechless. It had been pretty hard to do any other time. When we got to the car, Dimitri was shaking his head.

"You're going to pay for that later… Like when he calls you mother and she comes after you."

"You're scared of my mother, but not my father?"

"Janine is probably a better fighter." Dimitri said. I laughed.

"I'm telling Abe you said that." He rolled his eyes. When we reached the Belikov house, we got out and headed inside. Everyone looked up and smiled.

"Welcome back." Olena said, hugging her son.

"Uncle Dimka, where have you been?" Paul demanded. Dimitri picked him up.

"Just wanted to spend a little quality time with Roza, that's all. I told you I'd be back though."

"You were gone too long. I didn't like it."

"I'm sorry, Paul." He told him. I smiled at the two of them. It was then I realized what it was going to do to him, to all of them when we went back to the states and back to court. Looking at Dimitri, seeing the love in his eyes, the passion he loved his family with… I knew what it was going to do to him when we went back to the states. Dimitri sat down, and started talking to Paul, as I began to walk around the house. I walked over to the bookshelf, running my hand over the spines of all the old western novels that were there. I smiled as I pictured Dimitri as a little boy sitting in the living room with each of these books in his lap, reading them. I felt a set of arms wrap around my waist.

"Where my obsession began."

"You've read all of these?" I asked.

"Mhmm… Some of them, more than once." He told me. I smiled and shook my head.

"You're something else cowboy."

"I'll take that as a compliment, m'lady." He said, talking in his best western accent. I giggled. Viktoria immerged from the hallway and smiled.

"Oh, you guys are back." She said. We nodded. We all sat in the living room, and hung out. Dimitri, Paul, and I played monopoly. Paul cheated… a lot. Dimitri kept yelling at him for it, but Paul didn't care. He was determined to win, no matter what it took. If he had to cheat, then so be it. He reminded me a lot of myself in that department, even in his young age. When we finally finished the game, Dimitri ended up winning. I think he was cheating too, but I really hadn't been paying much attention to the game. When we finished, I sat down on the couch as Dimitri and Paul stayed on the floor, talking and wresting around. Yeva came in, and her eyes fell on me. I could tell she knew something was up.

"You're quiet, Rose. Is everything okay?" Sonya asked. Dimitri looked up at me. I smiled at her.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Roza.." Dimitri started. I shook my head.

"Don't… I'm fine." I promised him. He just nodded, but I could tell it wasn't the end of the conversation. I cuddled up on the couch and watched as Dimitri interacted with his family. How could I ask him to come back to Court with me, when he was obviously so happy here? I'd never seen him this happy, and in just a few short days, I'd be taking that away from him. What kind of person would I be if I let him give up being happy here with his family for me? I watched as he hugged his mother, as he wrestled with Paul, as he joked around with his sisters, and had a conversation in another language with his grandmother. I didn't know how I expected him to leave here once I brought him here. In this moment, I regretted coming, only because I just got him back. We ate dinner with them, but I rarely spoke, only when spoken too. Dimitri noticed but said nothing. I knew he'd wait until the car ride home, or till we got back to the hotel. Once dinner was over, I cleared the table, and washed the dishes once again, allowing Olena to spend time with Dimitri and the rest of the family. When I finished, I slipped out the back door, walking around front and out to the sidewalk. I sat down, and put my face in my hands. I didn't know what to do, how I was supposed to tell him that I think he should stay here with his family. I ran my hands through my hair. I heard footsteps behind me, but I soon heard boots hit the sidewalk and knew who it was.

"I was wondering where you disappeared." He said.

"I'm never that far away." _For now, I added silently. _

"You wanna tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong." I told him.

"That's your first lie. Wanna try again?" He asked, sitting down beside me. I shook my head.

"I'm fine… Honestly. I've just got a lot on my mind."

"Like what?" He asked.

"You should be inside with you family." I told him.

"I wanna know what's wrong first. I can't be happy in there if you're unhappy out here. You were fine earlier, I don't understand." He said.

"Dimitri, just go back inside."

"Roza, I-." I cut him off by standing up.

"I'm going to go for a walk… I'll be back." I said, starting to walk down the sidewalk.

"Don't do this, please."

"Do what?"

"Make me follow behind you like a puppy." He said. I turned to him to see he wasn't bluffing. He would seriously follow me if I left. I sighed. "Are you ready to go back to the hotel?"

"Not if you aren't." I said.

"That isn't what I asked you, Roza." He said, voice soft.

"Don't." I said.

"Don't what?"

"Don't make me feel like that by talking to me in that voice." I said. He shook his head.

"Let's just go back to the hotel."

"You don't want to leave, so no." I told him.

"I don't want to be here if you're unhappy here." He almost snapped. Like always, he was making it about me, always about me.

"Dimitri, we don't have to leave." I murmured softly.

"Roza, please… tell me what's wrong." I shook my head.

"Nothing is wrong."

"Why are you lying to me?" He asked. "Don't hide from me, Roza."

"I'm not hiding from anyone." I snapped.

"Let's go… I don't want to be here anymore."

"Whatever." I muttered, going and getting into the car. He went inside to tell his family good-bye. By the time he'd made it back, a few tears had escaped down my face. I wiped them away when he came back. The entire way back to the hotel, the car remained silent. His grip on the steering wheel was causing his knuckles to turn white. When we got back, and went upstairs. I went straight into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I looked at myself in the mirror, and that haunted look was back in my eye. I splashed some water on my face and sat down on the side of the tub. I wasn't sure how long I'd been in there before he came and knocked on the door.

"Roza?" He whispered.

"What?" I said, hoping my voice wouldn't betray me. It held, thank God.

"Can you come talk to me, please?" He said. I took a deep breath and stood up, opening the door. He reached out and took my hand in his.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Roza, please… don't do this to me." He begged, pleaded. I looked up and met his eyes.

"I think you should stay here." I finally said. He gave me a strange look and dropped my hand.

"What?" He asked.

"I think you should stay here, with your family when I go back to Court."

"What? Why? I don't understand." He said, confusion on his face.

"Dimitri, you're happy here. You're with your family. I've been at court with you for awhile now, and you've never been as happy there as you are here with all of them. They need you. You need them. I know what it's going to do to them when you leave. I know what it's going to do to you when we leave."

"Roza… I'm not staying here if that means I lose you." He said.

"You're going to be unhappy if you go back home with me, Dimitri. This is where you belong." I told him, running my hands through my hair.

"That's where you're wrong. I belong wherever you are." He said.

"Don't make this about me. I'm tired of you doing things for me. For once in your life, you need to do something for you." I snapped at him.

"Roza, I don't want to stay here. I love my family, and I'm going to miss them, but… you're where my heart is. I'm not going to just let you leave. I just got you back."

"Don't do this for me… You're family needs you." I said.

"And I need you." He told me. In that moment, I felt my heart skip a beat. A lone tear ran down my face, causing him to step forward and wipe it away.

"I belong wherever you are. I know they'll miss me, and I'll miss them, but I'm happiest when I'm with you."

"You've never been that happy at court." I informed him.

"You want to know why? Because everything was weighting me down then. The strigoi thing, and me and you fighting, and everything else. Since we came here, I feel like that weight has been lifted. Not because of my family, or even because I got away from court. It's because coming here, being with them, being here with you made me realize what I have. Our trip to the estate yesterday made me realize I'm letting my life pass me by dwelling on the past. That's why I've never been this happy at Court, because it wasn't until now that I realized that I have reasons to be happy."

"Don't do this for me."

"I'm not doing this for you, Roza. I'm not going back to Court with you in two days for you. I'm doing it because that's where I belong. Court is my home. By you side, is my home." He told me. "Why you would even think I'd want to stay here and give all that up is beyond me."

"I see how much they love you, how much you love them. You need each other." I told him.

"My mother and grandmother are used to living without me. My sisters will get used to it as well, and as we've seen, they can travel down there and visit at any time, just as Viktoria did. Paul needs a male figure in his life, yes. I know. That's why I'm trying to be there for him as much as possible in the time allotted." He said.

"It doesn't seem fair that I'm taking you away from them." I whispered.

"I belong to you, Roza." He said. I shook my head. He pulled me into his arms. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry. I just saw the way you were with Paul, how you were with your mother and it broke my heart knowing you'd be leaving them in two days."

"They'll be okay. They're survivors. They always survive." He promised me. I just nodded. He leaned down and kissed me gently. "Don't get so worked up over things next time without talking to me first." He teased, poking me. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm going to get a-." I didn't get my sentence out when I was sucked into Lissa's head, fear gripping her. She was running, hiding from something. It was then I realized there was an attack, no… an ambush at court. I felt my knee's give as I fell deeper and deeper into her head. She was in danger. I had to get home.

"Roza? Rose? What is it? What's going on?" He asked. I pushed and fought against her, pulling myself out of her head and jumping up.

"We have to get home…. Now! There's been an ambush at court."

"Roza, there's no way we'd make it back-." I cut him off.

"I don't care. I need to be home now. They need me. Lissa needs me." I snapped at him, gathering my things. He nodded and started gathering his things as well.

"Dimitri, you're family… I can't-."

"I'm going with you." He said, firmly.

"You won't get to say good-bye." I told him.

"It'll be okay." He promised me. I shook my head at all the trouble I was causing him. We ran our bags out to the car and sped off to the airport.


	27. Unscathed!

It was hell trying to arrange a flight, but I finally was able to do it. When we got to the airport, we ran through all the people, and out to the runway. The plane we were on wasn't as luxurious as the court jet, but it would have to do. We didn't have time for that. After we took off, I was in the isle of the plane, pacing.

"Roza, sit down. You're making me nauseous." He said, watching my pacing. I ran a hand through my hair.

"God, by the time we get there they could all be dead." I mumbled, as I paced back and forth up and down the aisle, not caring that he'd asked me to stop.

"Don't say that Roza. They're all going to be fine. The guardians will take care of them." He told me.

"No. I'm Lissa's guardian. I'm supposed to take care of her, and I left. I left to come to freakin' Russia, and left her there defenseless." I said, angry tears threatening to escape.

"Are you saying you regret coming here with me?" He asked, emotion thick in his voice. I knew that with one word I could break him. I turned to him, and met his gaze. I could see what he was feeling there.

"No… I don't regret coming. I just regret leaving her there defenseless. I should have… I don't know. I should have brought her with us, or had a guardian on staff take over my place. God, I'm an idiot." I said, putting my face in my hands.

"You're not." He murmured, standing and walking in front of me to stop my pacing.

"I left them all, Lissa, Adrian, and Christian. They could all die because of me." I murmured.

"Roza, you can't be their savior all the time. The guardians at court will keep them safe."

"We don't know that. None of the guardians there are half as good as you and I. One slip up, and a strigoi would get past them." I said, shaking my head.

"Christian can keep them safe."

"Using his magic makes him tired. He could only do so much." I said. All the worst case scenarios were running through my head. He took my face in his hands.

"They are going to be fine." He said. I looked away from him. "Now, please… sit down." I met his eyes and nodded. I sat down beside him. My entire body was shaking. Dimitri took my hands in his and kissed both of them. "We'll be home soon."

"Not soon enough." I murmured. He moved the arm rest on the seat, and pulled me into his lap. My entire body was weak, and I felt incredibly tired.

"Get some sleep, Roza." He whispered.

"I couldn't sleep right now if I wanted too."

"Try." He encouraged. I just nodded. Eventually, I felt myself dozing off. It seemed like I'd only been asleep for an hour when Dimitri was waking me up because we'd arrived at Court. I stood up way to quick, causing my head to spin. It was now day light, so court was safe from strigoi, but I could see the aftermath as soon as we stepped off the plane. We took our bags inside, but I dropped mine and started running.

"Roza?" Dimitri called after me.

"I have to find her." I said over my shoulder. I ran to the Dragomir wing, and beat on her door before busting into it. Her and Christian were curled up on the couch. She should have been asleep at this time of the day, but she was wide awake. I also noticed a bunch of scratches and bruises on her face and arms.

"Rose!" Lissa exclaimed. She jumped out of Christians lap and ran to me. I wrapped my arms around her.

"God, I'm so glad you're okay." I said, holding her tight. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here. I'm never leaving ever again."

"I was so scared." She murmured, as she cried into my collar bone. I pulled away and looked at her.

"What happened?" I asked, touching a bruise on her arm.

"One of them got to her before I could. He roughed her up a little bit." Christian explained. He stood up exposing that he had bruises and scratches too.

"God, guys… I'm so sorry." I told them.

"It's okay, Rose. You're here now, and that's what matters."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"We don't think it's over yet. They'll be back. They kept coming, they were everywhere, but the sun came up, so they ran. Tatiana thinks they're coming back."

"Where's Dimitri?" Lissa asked.

"I kind of ran here as soon as I got off the plane. I left him in the lobby. He's probably back at our room now." I explained. She hugged me again.

"I'm glad you're home."

"I'm never leaving you again. I knew better than to leave you here without a guardian. I'm so sorry, Lissa." I apologized. She shook her head.

"It's okay. You and Dimitri needed to get out of here. I'm glad you got a little bit of a vacation." She said.

"What about Adrian? Is he okay?"

"He had a broken hand. I was going to heal him and Christian, but they wouldn't let me, because I'm still kind of weak." She said, looking at Christian's injuries.

"Yes, you need to get better before you heal anyone." I told her. She nodded.

"I know."

"I'm going to go find Dimitri, and probably go to Adrian. I'll be back later." I promised. She hugged me again. "I'll be back." She nodded. I looked at Christian and he smiled slightly. I walked out and to our room to find Dimitri.

"I'm sorry I ran like that."

"It's okay, love. How are they?" He asked.

"They're both bruised and scratched up."

"What about Adrian?"

"Lissa said he has a broken hand. I'm going to go see him. I'll be back."

"Go ahead. I'll be here." He said. I walked over to him and kissed him.

"It's not over yet. Tatiana thinks they're coming back." I told him.

"And we'll be ready for them." He promised. I nodded once.

"Damn right we will." I said. "I'll be back." I walked out and across court to the Ivashkov wing. When I got to his room, I knocked but no one answered, so I opened it and walked in. Adrian was passed out on his couch. His hand was all wrapped up, and he had bruises all over his beautiful face. I frowned and shook my head. I walked over to where he laid on the couch and knelt down in front of him. I touched his face gently, causing his eyes to flutter and open.

"Rose?" He murmured.

"Yeah, it's me."  
>"What are you doing home? I thought you were going to be gone for another few days." He said. I shook my head.<p>

"No, I heard about the attack, and I rushed back. How are you doing?" I asked, motioning to his hand.

"I'm sore, but I'll live." He said. I touched his face.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here." I felt guilty that all of them were hurt. Had I been here, none of them would have been touched.

"It isn't your fault, Rose."

"I know. I just feel bad that I wasn't here and all of you got hurt." I told him. He shook his head.

"Don't… It could have happened when you were here."

"You know I wouldn't have let anything happen to you if I was here. I was stupid to leave you all here alone." I said. He shook his head.

"It's fine, Rose. We all survived."

"Not unscathed."I told him. He touched my face.

"We're all fine." He promised.

"I should go. It's late, and I need to get down to guardian headquarters. They'll probably set Dimitri and I up a station for guard once the sun goes back down."

"Rose, don't. So many guardians died out there last night… please." He said, grabbing my hand.

"Adrian, I'll be fine. I promise." He released me. "Get some sleep." I said. I kissed his forehead, and walked out, heading back to our room. When I got there, Hans and Tatiana were in our room.

"Welcome back Guardian Hathaway." Hans said. I nodded at him once.

"So, we're guarding-." Dimitri started.

"Myself, Princess Dragomir, and the Ivashkov's."

"What about Christian Ozera?" I asked.

"He's a package deal with Lissa, your majesty." Dimitri explained. I nodded.

"Okay, that's fine. Regardless, the two of you, plus Hans will be guarding the throne room where we will be at sun down. The rest of the guardians are being distributed throughout the court and the ward lines outside." She explained. Dimitri and I nodded.

"Yes, your majesty." I said.

"At five o' clock, report to the throne room. Princess Dragomir, The Ivashkov's, and Mr. Ozera will be informed." She told us. I nodded. "Thank you so much." She turned and walked out with Hans following her. I turned to Dimitri.

"How's Adrian?"

"He's pretty beat up too, but he's alright." I told him. He nodded.

"Good. I'm glad everyone is okay."

"Me too. I just hope we can end this tonight." I said.

"We will." He promised. He pulled me into his arms, and hugged me.

"We should probably try and get some sleep." I suggested. He nodded. We went into our bedroom and crawled into bed. I curled up in his arms.

"Are you scared about tonight?"

"No… I'm not. Are you?" I asked. Silence. I looked up at him. "Dimitri?"

"I can't take becoming what I once was again. Not after all the progress that I've made."

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you." I promised.

"You don't need to worry about me. It's Lissa you need to worry about protecting." He told me. I shook my head.

"I promised you once I wouldn't let anything happen to you, and you were turning into a strigoi. History will not be repeating it's self. I'll be damned."

"Roza…" He started.

"Let's get some sleep. We're going to need it." I said, hoping to avoid this conversation. I would protect him, along with Lissa, Christian, and Adrian. They were all my main priorities, and I would protect all of them with my life. I'd give my life to keep all of them safe.

"Goodnight Roza." He murmured, setting the alarm clocks by the bed. I kissed him gently, and snuggled as close as I could get to him.

"Goodnight Comrade." I murmured.

When the alarm clock went off, I groaned.

"I don't want to." I said.

"Come on, Roza." Dimitri murmured, sitting up. I frowned.

"Just five more minutes."

"Get up, we have to leave in thirty minutes, and we still have to get dressed." He told me. I groaned and sat up, rolling out of bed and grabbing my uniform out of my closet. He got dressed and helped me into my uniform since I was half asleep and couldn't manage to get it buttoned up correctly. I threw my hair up, and grabbed my stake. I followed Dimitri out into the kitchen as he made me a cup of coffee.

"Thank you." I mumbled as I drank it. He nodded and poured one for himself. I could tell he was nervous about what we were heading into. I placed my hand on his arm, and smiled slightly.

"Everything's going to be okay." I promised him.

"You know that?"

"For sure." I promised. I had no guarantee of that, but I would make sure he would be okay, along with Lissa, Christian and Adrian. We looked at the time, and got up. It was time to be at the throne room. Tonight was going to be hell.


	28. Survivors!

**A/N: I hope you guys had a good Christmas. So tell me… should Dimitri die? His body could easily reject the transfusion that the infirmary gave him. ;) Regardless, I just wanted to take the time to say, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. Also, I was wondering if anyone else has been having trouble looking at their reviews, because I always get new ones, but it wont let me look at them, all I see are my old ones. Let me know in a PM because obviously if you review to tell me about it, I won't see it. Don't forget to review though, and hopefully they come in soon. You guys feedback is what I live off of. Anyway…. On with the show. **

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><p>When we reached the throne room, everyone was already there. Lissa walked over and hugged me. I noticed that the bruises and scratches were gone from her, along with Christian and Adrian. Adrian's hand also wasn't wrapped anymore.<p>

"I take it Christian gave you consent to use your magic?" I said. He smiled at me. She nodded.

"Yeah, I talked him into it. I felt a lot better this morning anyway. Plus, we need to be ready for anything, and if we're hurting or have a broken hand we won't exactly be ready."

"I'm glad you're feeling better, Lissa." Dimitri told her. She smiled.

"Thanks Dimitri. Welcome home." She said.

"It feels good to be back, just not under these circumstances." He told her.

"I'm sorry your vacation got ruined because of this." She said.

"It's not your fault." Dimitri and I both said together. She smiled as we walked over to the group.

"Me and three other guardians will be guarding all entrances to this room. You two will be guarding inside. I figured since Rose and Liss are bonded, it'd be better to have them together." Hans explained. We both nodded. Tatiana gave us our headsets, connecting us with all the other guardians and the main desk.

"Guardian Hathaway." I spoke into the headset.

"Guardian Belikov." Dimitri said into his, checking in with all the other guardians. I could tell from the chatter going on over the radio that they were all kind of nervous.

"Are you sure they're coming back?" I asked Tatiana.

"We're not taking any chances. We've never had an ambush of this magnitude, and had the sun not come up, it would have been ten times worse." She told us. I nodded.

"Better safe than sorry." I said.

"That's what I was thinking." Tatiana sat down in her throne and everyone else sat down in the chairs around. Dimitri and I stood guard closer to the doors.

"You guys seeing anything outside?" I asked into the radio.

"No, everything seems pretty clear so far." I heard back.

"Alright, good. Let's hope it stays that way." I told them all. It was then I heard a familiar voice over the radio.

"Rose? We have a problem." That was Eddie. Automatically, my heart picked up into overdrive.

"What? What's going on?" I asked. Dimitri's eyes were on me now.

"The wards, they've been staked."

"What? How did someone not see that? We've got guardians on every inch of the premises." Hans yelled over the headset.

"Calm down. We have to be reasonable. Eddie, were are you? Where did you find the staked ward?" Dimitri asked, trying to control the situation. His eyes were on me though, where I knew he found his courage.

"The back side of court, the farthest part of the premises." Eddie told us. Hans voice entered the mix next.

"I want three guardians out there with Eddie." He barked. "We are not letting these bastards back in… not again." In that moment, my stomach stirred. _God, no._ My head snapped to the door.

"What is it, Rose?" Dimitri asked, walking towards me.

"Hans, get ready… They're already here."

"What? How do you know?" He demanded. I pulled my stake and crouched down in front of the door.

"Get ready Dimitri, guys…. Go… down to the cellar… now." I said, motioning to the door that was meant for the queen to hide out in case of an emergency like this. They all ran over, opening the door and starting in. Adrian turned and met my gaze.

"I'll be fine." I promised. He just nodded, but I could tell he didn't believe me. Christian met my gaze once and nodded at me, before following Lissa down. I turned to Dimitri. His face was a mask of fear, but I could tell he was ready for battle, a battle we had no guarantee we'd make it out of. If it was as bad as they all said it was, we had no idea what we were in for. I felt myself becoming more afraid. Afraid that I was going to lose him again, afraid I wasn't going to make it out of this myself, afraid that someone I loved was going to die. The weight of what was about to happen was settling in one me. I could hear some of the fighting going on outside from over the headset. I heard Hans voice come over then.

"They're moving in this way… Hathaway, Belikov… get ready." He told us. I took a deep breath.

"We're going to make it out of this. We're survivors." I said.

"We always survive." He promised me. I heard the fight from outside the door. I had a death grip on my stake, ready to take out the first thing that came through that door. The moment the door busted open, Dimitri and I went running headlong into the crowd of strigoi and Guardians. I was taking out strigoi left and right, pulling them off others they were ganging up on and taking them out before they could get anywhere near where Lissa was hiding. One of them broke through, running into the throne room, and looking around. I went running after him, planning on taking him down. He sensed me coming and I caught a hard back hand to the face. It felt like he broke my jaw, but I didn't let it stop me. I dragged my stake across his face, causing the skin to sizzle. He cried out and threw me across the room, my back slamming against the wall. I brought a hand up and caught him hard in the mouth causing him to fumble slightly. I faked an attack and drove my stake through his heart, but not before he dug his nails into my shoulder, causing blood to go pouring down my collarbone. I yanked my stake out and ran back into the mess. I grabbed one off of Hans, who'd been double teaming him, taking him out quickly. I found by the time a lot of them got to me, they were already weak and easy to take out. Regardless, I saw a lot of guardians falling, and there was nothing I could do. I tried to help them but there was only so much I could do. My hands were tied. I heard Dimitri growl from what sounded like pain. I started pushing my way through everyone till I found him on his knees. The strigoi was running towards him, obviously going to kick him, when I stepped in front of him and drove my stake right through his heart the moment his kick would have landed. I turned and helped him up, but the moment I reached down to grab him, I was grabbed from behind and thrown to the ground.

"Roza!" Dimitri exclaimed. The strigoi started walking towards me, as I started crawling backwards on the ground.

"Rose, huh? I know you. I've seen you somewhere before." He said. It was then I realized I'd had a run in with this strigoi in Russia. He'd gotten away, but barely.

"I have a recognizable face, what can I say?" I said, making my way to my feet, stake still in hand. He circled around me.

"You almost killed me."

"But unfortunately, I didn't." I said. I was antagonizing him, which was never a good thing. He chuckled.

"You won't be so lucky this time." He said. I hadn't even noticed Dimitri until he drove his stake through the strigoi's back before he could pounce. The moment the strigoi hit the ground, I looked at Dimitri who was cut up worse than I was.

"You should go… you're weak." I said.

"No… We have to finish this." He said to me, in full battle mode. There was a good handful of guardians still standing including the two of us, and about seventeen strigoi. This wasn't over… not yet. The back door to the throne room busted open then, and a lone Strigoi walked in. He was tall, and had dark hair. He looked strikingly familiar, like I'd seen him somewhere before.

"You're best bet, is to turn right back around and walk back out the door." I told him. He chuckled slightly.

"That's hardly going to happen, my dear." His beady red-rimmed eyes roamed over me. I shuddered at his icy cold voice as he regarded me as 'dear'. He found something over my shoulder interesting, and when I turned around, Dimitri had locked eyes with him.

"Riley." Dimitri muttered.

"Nice to see you again too, Dimitri." The man said. It was obvious Dimitri knew him.

"Who are you?" I demanded.

"Dimitri's combat trainer… and also Dimitri's right hand man when he was a strigoi. I'm sorry they brought you back into this. I'm here to take you home." He told him.

"Over my dead body." I snapped at him. He chuckled and crouched down, ready to attack.

"That can be arranged."

"Why are you here?" Dimitri demanded, coming to stand in front of me. He was all business now. I'd heard that voice before. It was the voice he used when he was strigoi, associating with another one. It was a scary thing to hear.

"Well of course for the blood my friend. You know as well as I do that royals taste better." I felt sick to my stomach. Dimitri growled.

"Leave… NOW!"

"I traveled all this way to see you and this is the way I'm treated. I'm appalled Dimitri. I thought you had more manners than that." He told him.

"Last warning." Dimitri told him. My stomach stirred, and I whirled around, taking down the strigoi that had been going after Dimitri. He was dead within a matter of seconds. The moment I took his out, the man chuckled.

"This must be Rose." He said. He circled around Dimitri and I. We both crouched down, anticipating his attack. "You were right, she's awfully pretty. You weren't kidding when you said she was like an avenging angel. She took this poor guy out." He said, motioning to the strigoi I'd just killed. It was then that the leftover strigoi from outside came in, heading straight for us. I ran into them, going to start taking them out, when I heard Dimitri growl. I saw Riley leap, but was too busy with the strigoi at hand. I was so distracted, I was letting him land more hits on me then I should have. It wasn't long before I took him out, but not without effort. It was then two of them grabbed me, ganging up on me. I tried to free myself of both of them, but they were too strong when they were together. I started fearing for my life until I heard loud footsteps and felt one of them being ripped off me. I looked up to see Eddie, and took one of the strigoi to the ground, staking him. The moment I stood up and turned around, I saw the man knock Dimitri to the ground.

"No!" I started running, but the moment I did he picked Dimitri's almost unconscious body up off the ground.

"Come any closer and I'll snap his neck like a twig." He told me. I froze where I stood. He looked at Dimitri who he held tightly so he couldn't get free.

"Please, don't do this."

"You took away my best friend when you brought him back. I want him back." He said, smiling at me.

"NO! He's mine." I growled, taking a few steps forward.

"Ah, ah, ah, Ms. Hathaway. I will kill him, and there will be no saving him. Watch it." He said. I growled. I was losing this battle. I couldn't lose him… not again. It was then I saw Eddie trying to sneak up behind him. I was hoping Eddie would get a hit on him so I could get Dimitri away, but the strigoi heard him. He dropped Dimitri and batted Eddie away like a fly, causing Eddie's entire body to slam against the wall and hit the floor. He was unconscious. I jumped and ran head long for him, taking him to the ground, hitting ever inch of him I could. He blocked most of it, but I didn't care. He threw me off him, but I went right back in, dragging my silver stake across his face. He cried out and landed a kick right to my stomach, but the adrenaline was pumping now, and I wasn't going to stop. I had a feeling this was more than just adrenaline. This was darkness lashing out of me as well. He batted me across the room, and picked up Dimitri's battered body. Dimitri had been trying to get up, but he couldn't do it. The moment Riley had him in his hands, he sank his teeth into Dimitri's throat.

"NOOO!" I cried, tackled him, causing him to drop Dimitri. I tried to stake him, but he was quick. I had no opening. I kicked him hard in the stomach, causing him to slam his back against the wall. He slapped my face hard, dragging his nails along my cheek, causing blood to pour down my face. I winced, but didn't halt my attack. Instead, I came back and drove my stake into his shoulder. He cried out, and pushed me away, grabbing his shoulder, but the moment he did that, I drove my stake into his heart. I ripped my stake out, and fell to my knees as he hit the floor as well. I was sobbing at this point. I felt no pain though. I turned to find Dimitri, unmoving on the floor. I crawled over to him, and picked his head up and pulled it into my lap. I wasn't sure how much blood he'd lost, but there was a pretty big puddle of it on the floor where I was sitting.

"Dimitri?" I murmured. "Dimitri, baby… I need you to wake up. Look at me, talk to me, something… please?" I begged. I laid my head against his chest to hear his heart faintly beating. He was alive, that was all that mattered. I heard the lock on the little cellar unlatch and saw Christian stick his head out.

"God… Rose!" Christian said, jumping out of the cellar and running over to me.

"I have to get him to the infirmary. He's lost a lot of blood."

"Let Lissa-." He started.

"All she can do is heal the wound; she can't replenish his blood supply Christian." I told him, as they all started filing out of the cellar. Lissa had tears streaming down her face. There were tons of bodies everywhere, but I didn't care. I had eyes for one, and it was the one in my lap, the one that was still alive. How I was going to get him to the infirmary I had no idea, but I'd do it. I stood up, and wrapped an arm around his waist. Christian quickly did the same.

"We'll get him there." He promised me.

"Oh God, Eddie!" Lissa exclaimed, running to him.

"Do you think you can help him to the infirmary too?" Lissa had tears streaming even faster now, but she nodded. Adrian and her helped him up and carried him behind Christian and I. When we got to the infirmary, half the rooms were already taken. I found one regardless, and helped put Dimitri in it. Lissa and Adrian came in and put Eddie in the bed beside Dimitri.

"I can heal the wound." She said, laying her hand on Dimitri's neck, and closing her eyes. I felt her magic flare up, and the bite marks sealed. Regardless, I ran to get a nurse.

"We need help. He's lost a lot of blood." I told them. Doctors and nurses then swarmed the door.

"Rose, you're hurt too. Let me-." Adrian started. I shook my head.

"I'm fine."

"You're face, and shoulder is telling a different story." He said. I shook my head again.

"I will be fine. Stop." I snapped. He just nodded. They brought in a blood transfusion and hooked Dimitri up too it. I felt tears spring to my eyes, but I quickly blinked them back. I sat down by his side, and took his hand in mine.

"I'm going to go see if Tatiana needs anything." Lissa said. She walked over and hugged me.

"Thank you so much for what you did today." I hugged her back and nodded, fighting back tears. I met Christians gaze, and mouthed a thank you to him. He nodded. Adrian hugged me.

"If you need anything, you know where I am." He told me. He kissed my forehead, before walking out. I stood up and pulled my uniform jacket off, and threw it on the ground, leaving me in my white button up shirt which now had dark maroon stains on it. My injuries were starting to hurt more and more now that the adrenaline had slowed. I walked into the bathroom of the room and looked in the mirror. Adrian was right, my face looked horrible. That strigoi had gotten me good, than was for sure. I touched it and winced. I heard movement from outside, and stepped out to see Eddie rousing. I walked over to him.

"God, my head." He moaned. I placed my hands over his.

"Stay laying down… I'll go get you some pain medicine, okay?" I said. He nodded once. I walked out and asked for some pain killer, which they gave me two that I took to Eddie. I got him a glass of water and he took them.

"Thanks." He mumbled, holding his head.

"No… Thank you for what you did out there. If it wasn't for you, Dimitri might have died out there." I told him.

"I wasn't going to let him go down like that." He said, wincing at the pain in his head. He called Hans to help him back to his room, which he did. Hans spared a look at Dimitri and I, and frowned.

"I hope he wakes up soon." He said.

"Me too." I whispered, before he helped Eddie up and out of the infirmary. Once the room was empty other than Dimitri and myself, I crawled into the bed beside him, careful not to pull out any IV's or move him around too much. I interlaced my fingers with his, and placed a kiss on the side of his neck that the bite mark had once been. "I'm so sorry this happened." I murmured. I wasn't sure how long we'd laid there, and there was still no change. He hadn't moved at all. Every once and while I'd lean in and lay my ear to his chest to make sure his heart was still beating. I let a few tears fall as we sat in the room alone. I just kept hoping he'd wake up, and soon. I don't know how much more of this I can take.


	29. Faith!

I wasn't sure how long I'd been there. I'd been sure to avoid looking at the clock, scared of how I'd react to how long Dimitri had been out. I didn't want to know. I sat at his bedside, my fingers intertwined with his. I kept hoping and praying that he'd wake up, but there was no sign that he was going to any time soon. I placed my arms on the bed and laid my head on them. My body was sore and I was drained, physically and mentally. I heard footsteps, and looked up to find Adrian in the door way. He smiled slightly at me.

"How you doing?" He asked. I looked at Dimitri.

"I'll be better when he wakes up."

"Maybe you should go home and get some rest, little dhampir." He suggested. I shook my head.

"I have to be here when he wakes up." I told him, tracing patterns on his hand.

"If you want, I'll stay here with him. You can go home and change and shower, and come back. That way, he won't be alone." He tried. I smiled at him. Adrian was such a genuine friend. I loved that about him.

"That's really sweet, Adrian. Thanks, but it'd prefer to not leave him." I told him. He just nodded.

"Can't say I didn't try." He said, walking over to me. I stood up, and he pulled me into his arms. "He's gonna be okay." He murmured into my hair.

"God, I hope your right."

"He's strong." He said.

"I know he is. He'll pull through this. He has too." I whispered. I felt tears spring to my eyes, but I quickly blinked them back as he released me.

"Atleast let me go to your room and get you a change a clothes." He offered. I nodded and pulled my keys out of my pocket.

"There should be a blue duffle bag on the floor next to my bed. All of its clean… just bring me something out of it." I told him. He nodded. "Thank you, Adrian."

"Not a problem. I'll be back." He said, as he disappeared out the door. I then sat back down in my chair and took Dimitri's hand once again.

"I need you to wake up, Comrade. You can't leave me like this." I murmured, kissing his hand. A few nurses came in and checked his vitals. They switched out his IV and turned to me.

"Can we get you anything?" She asked. I shook my head.

"I'm fine, thanks. Do you have any idea why he hasn't woken up yet?"

"His brain has secluded its self. It's resting because he endured so much trauma from the attack. He'll wake up when his brain his ready." She explained.

"And if he doesn't wake up?" I asked.

"He'll go into a coma." She told me, before walking out. I just stared at where she'd disappeared out the door. I shook my head, tears beginning to spill down my face. I couldn't hold them in anymore. He couldn't go into a coma. He had to wake up. He had to fight out of this. He was stronger than this. He would come out of this. A few minutes later, Adrian came in with my clothes. He held me in his arms as I got all the tears and sobs out of my system. When I was finally able to speak again, he took my face in his hands.

"He's going to make it through this. You both will. I promise."

"I can't lose him again, Adrian." I whispered. He wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Little dhampir, he isn't going anywhere. Give him time… he'll wake up." He assured me. He kissed my forehead. "I have to go talk to my aunt. I'll stop by later to check on you guys." I nodded as he walked out. I looked at the clothes he brought me, but had no real desire to change. I didn't care what I looked like, or how uncomfortable the clothes I had on where. All I wanted was for him to wake up. I'd give up anything and everything just to have him open his eyes and look at me. I crawled into the bed beside him and laid my head to his chest. Before long, I must have drifted to sleep, because I was woken up by a nurse asking to take his vitals. I crawled out of the bed, and went into the bathroom. I splashed some water on my face and walked back out. She was gone and a new IV had been placed on the rack. I shook my head as I sat down in the chair beside the bed and laid my head on it.

"Please… wake up." I whispered. I didn't believe in God that much, nor would I ever go to church, but in this moment, I was praying, asking him to help me even when I knew I didn't deserve it myself, but Dimitri did. He was good, and pure, and everything a man should be. He didn't deserve this. "Please, help him. There's nothing I can do to help him, so please." I whispered. Finally, I couldn't take just sitting anymore. I started pacing back and forth in the room. My hair was a mess, I was still covered in blood, and my injuries were starting to hurt so bad I couldn't feel the upper half of my body anymore, but I didn't care about any of that. All I cared about was him. I needed him to wake up. As I paced, I looked up to find Christian in the doorway.

"Still nothing?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Nope, hasn't moved."

"How are you doing?" He asked me. I snorted.

"How do I look?"

"Beautiful." He said, smirking. I rolled my eyes. "Lissa would have come, but she's working on something with the queen. She said she was sorry and she'd try and stop by later." I nodded.

"It's fine. We're not going anywhere anytime soon, from the looks of it." I said, turning and looking at Dimitri's body.

"He'll wake up… just give him some time."

"I have given him time. I don't even want to know how long we've been down here. I don't understand why he hasn't woken up yet." I said, my voice on the edge of hysterical.

"I know, Rose." He murmured. I slammed my fist against the wall, pretty sure I'd dislocated or broken about four bones. "Rose, calm down."

"I need him to wake up, Christian. I can't have him go into a coma. I can't have him taken away from me again." I said, shaking my head. Christian walked over to me, and took my hands in his.

"He's going to be okay."

"He isn't. Look at him… he hasn't moved. He's been like that for God knows how long. What if he doesn't pull out of this? What am I supposed to do then?" I asked him.

"Dimitri is one of the strongest people I've ever met, Rose. He will pull out of this. He'll do it, not because he's strong, but because of you. He'll wake up because he knows you're here waiting for him." He told me. He touched my face. "Give him time."

"I've given him time…. How much more does he want?" I snapped.

"You're being impatient and impulsive. You've got to let him heal on his own. This time, it wasn't something Lissa or Adrian could fully fix. You've got to let his body heal." He told me. I just nodded. "Look, I have to get back to Lissa. I'll have Ambrose bring you something to eat."

"I don't want any food." I told him.

"Rose…"

"Fine, whatever." I muttered. He nodded and kissed my forehead, before starting to walk out. "Christian?" I called.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." I said, meeting his gaze. He nodded.

"Anytime." He said, before disappearing down the hall. I turned back to Dimitri's sleeping figure, and sighed. He was covered in blood, head to toe. I went into the bathroom and grabbed a wash cloth and wet it. I walked back out and started scrubbing some of the blood from his face. He'd look less… dead if all the blood was gone, and it might make me feel a little better. As the red disappeared, and his tan came back, I felt a little more relieved. I'd seen people in coma's and they were pale people, because their heart had slowed down, but Dimitri's color was still dark, and perfect. I started on his neck when Ambrose walked in with a tray of food. I smiled at him.

"Thank you." I told him. He nodded at me, looking at Dimitri and back to me.

"It's not a problem. I'll just set it right here." He said, laying it on the table. He walked over and hugged me.

"I hope he pulls out of this."

"Thank you… so do I." I said. He nodded and bowed out. I looked at the tray of food and debated, because my stomach had been screaming at me for the past hour, but I decided to finish what I'd started… then eat. I started scrubbing the dried blood off Dimitri's neck where he'd been bitten. I had to scrub pretty hard, and I swear I saw him grimace. I automatically froze, but he didn't wake. I was seeing things, I convinced myself. He hadn't moved. I started again, working on this one spot when I saw his hand twitch, and this time… I wasn't seeing things.

"Dimitri?" I asked. I took his hand in mine, and took a deep breath, trying to keep myself composed. "If you can hear me, squeeze my hand." I murmured. The moment I felt the slightest bit of pressure, I almost burst into tears. "Can you open your eyes; can you look at me… please?" He wrinkled his face, and I watched as he fought to open his eyes. "Come on baby… you can do it. Please!" I begged. I felt tears spring to my eyes once again. "Come on." I whispered. He closed his eyes tight and then opened them. I stood back, as his eyes fell on me.

"Roza?" He murmured, his voice hoarse.

"Comrade…" I whispered, my voice trailing off. He reached his hand out to me, and took mine in his. Tears were pouring down my face now. "I thought I'd lost you."

"I'm not going down that easily." He murmured. I crawling into the bed beside him, and kissed every inch of skin available to me. He wiped the tears from my face, and then brought my lips to his. When I pulled away, I shook my head.

"Don't you ever scare me like that ever again."

"I'm sorry, Roza." He murmured. He wrapped his arms around me, and buried his face into my hurt shoulder. I winced, and he quickly pulled away.

"What is it?"

"Nothing… I'm fine." I assured him.

"Roza…" He chastised. He pulled my shirt away from my collar bone, and winced at the wound. I hadn't looked at it. I'd been afraid too. "Why haven't you had Lissa or Adrian heal it?"

"I was too concerned with you."

"Rose, that cuts deep. You could get it infected." He said.

"Dhampirs rarely get infections. You know that." I told him. He shook his head.

"With our luck, you would get one and have to have this arm removed." He said, smirking slightly.

"You might be right. I'll deal with it later." He kissed my collarbone right above where the gash was. It caused my entire body to break out into goosebumps. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"How long have I been here?" He asked.

"I don't know. I avoided the clock."

"Why?"

"I was scared if I kept track of how long you'd been in here, I'd lose it a lot quicker." I explained. He smiled and shook his head.

"How do you lose something you never had?"

"Hey… watch it now." I snapped, playfully. The nurses came in, and checked his vitals and took him off his IV's. "Can we go home now?" I asked.

"If he thinks he's ready to head home, of course." She said. I nodded.

"Thank you." I told her. She smiled.

"Feel better." She told Dimitri, before she walked out. I looked at him.

"Can you walk?"

"I hope so." He said. He sat up, and wobbled a little bit, before throwing his legs off the side of the bed. I offered him my hand, but he didn't take it. He stood up, and stumbled forward. I grabbed him. He chuckled as I wrapped my arms around him. "I may need some assistance." He admitted. I shook my head as I grabbed my stuff and helped him out of the infirmary. When we got back to our room, I helped him inside and to the bar stool.

"Once again, I don't want you on my couch or bed like that." I told him He smiled.

"I understand. I would shower, but I don't know if I could manage that alone." He said, giving me a look. I saw where this was going.

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Seducing implies a little more premeditation." He told me. I smiled.

"Come on." I muttered, helping him out of the chair. I grabbed us both a change of clothes, and headed into the bathroom. I turned the water on, and helped him out of his clothes. He was loving this. Once I got him out of his, I helped him into the shower. I stripped my clothes off, and I watched as the color drained from his face. I guess my injuries were a little more serious than he thought. I stepped into the shower, and winced as the water hit me. "I'm fine, honestly… I can't feel them anymore."

"That's not a good thing, Roza." He told me.

"I'll have Lissa or Adrian take care of it later." He leaned down and pressed his lips to my throat. I reveled in the feel of his lips on my body. I reached and brought his mouth down to mine, running my hands through his soaking wet hair. When I forced my mouth away from his, I met his eyes. "I love you."

"As I love you, Roza." I smiled. I helped him scrub the rest of the blood off his body, as he did the same with me, his hands like feathers on my skin, trying to prevent from hurting me. When we were done, we both stepped out and dried off, and got dressed. For him, it was a pair of athletic shorts. I wasn't exactly sure I could endure the pain of putting on a shirt, so I went with a sports bra and a pair of shorts. I helped him into the living room and onto the couch. I made him and myself a cup of coffee and sat down beside him, snuggling very gently into his side. It wasn't long before there was a knock on the door.

"Come in." I called, not wanting to get up. Adrian walked in, and smiled slightly.

"Good to see you awake." Adrian told him. Dimitri smiled.

"Thanks." Adrian's eyes then fell on me, and mostly what I was wearing, but then he found the gash on my shoulder.

"Little dhampir…" He murmured. I looked at it and shrugged.

"It's not that bad."

"It looks like you got in a fight with a pair of sheers." He told me. I chuckled.

"Heal it for me?" He nodded and walked over to the couch. I sat up, as he laid his hand on the unbroken skin just below it and closed his eyes. I felt his magic pour into me, and felt the wound close. When Adrian opened his eyes, he smiled. "Thanks." I told him.

"My pleasure. I've got to go. I told Lissa I'd come back and let her know how you guys were." I nodded.

"That's fine."

"I'll see you later. You guys feel better." He told us, giving me one last look before walking out. I laid my head back on Dimitri's shoulder.

"You think he'd be more courteous." Dimitri said.

"What?"

"The way he looks at you. He undresses you with his eyes. You'd think he'd be a little more considerate with me sitting here." He said. I chuckled.

"He does not." I said. Dimitri laughed.

"He does. I know what it's like, and it's just like that." He said.

"Why have you undressed me with your eyes when you've seen me undressed?" I asked. He laughed.

"It was before I'd seen you undressed, and after you came back. I wondered before and after you came back, I'd just missed it." He told me. I smiled.

"You're something else, Comrade."

"That's why you love me." He told me. I smirked and ran a finger down his bare chest.

"Only one of the reasons." I teased. He growled slightly and brought his mouth to mine, kissing me way too persuasively. When we separated, he pressed his lips to my collar bone. I shuddered. "Hey… calm down now."

"Awe… but-." I shook my head.

"We're both recovering."

"I'm fine." He said. I laughed.

"Says the guy who can't walk on his own." I muttered. He growled at me.

"You're no fair."

"No, I just don't want you going into a coma." I said, smirking at him.

"Someone's full of themselves." He said. I laughed out loud.

"I didn't even mean it like that… geez." I muttered. He laughed. I giggled and buried my face into his collar bone. I yawned into his skin, causing goosebumps to rise. I smirked.

"Tired?"

"Very." I admitted. He chuckled.

"Come on… let's get some sleep." He said, standing. I got up, and we both walked into our bedroom, throwing everything into the floor, and laying down. I cuddled up in his arms.

"I love you." I murmured, pressing a kiss to his chest. "I'm so glad you're okay. I couldn't take losing you again."

"I told you, you're not going to lose me again." He said.

"When he bit you… I saw the cave scene repeated in my head. I wasn't leaving you this time." I told him, tears welling to my eyes. He pulled my chin up to look at him.

"You are the bravest, strongest person I have ever met in my life. I hope you know that."

"And you're the strongest, most amazing person I've ever met, and I can't imagine my life without you. I don't want too."

"Me either." He murmured. I buried my head into his chest.

"Good night comrade." I whispered.

"Good night, my sweet Roza." I laid my head on his chest, and closed my eyes, letting myself drift into a blissful sleep.


	30. Find Your Love!

When I woke up the next morning, my entire body ached. I rolled over to find Dimitri still sound asleep. It was strange, because he was always awake before me, but regardless I smiled at his sleeping figure. I knew what he meant about watching me sleep now. He was so beautiful; it was hard to believe he was real. I sat up, and started to ease my way out of bed, when he murmured my name. I knew for sure I'd woken him, but when I turned back around, he was still sleeping.

"Roza…" He murmured, his voice trailing off. I raised an eyebrow. He didn't say anything, but he shifted. I smiled when I realized he was dreaming of me. My name fell from his lips a few more times, so it wasn't hard to guess what exactly he was dreaming about. Of course, me being Rose Hathaway, I couldn't let it go. I leaned over, and pressed my lips to his, careful not to apply to much pressure and wake him. I pulled away, and giggled as I saw a smile spread across his face. I started to get out of the bed, when he said my name again, this time louder. When I turned around, he was awake this time. The moment he met my gaze, I started laughing. He raised an eyebrow, obviously confused.

"What's funny?" He asked, looking at himself, trying to find something wrong with him. I smirked.

"What were you dreaming about, Comrade?" I watched as his face turned completely red.

"How did you-?" He stopped.

"It was kind of hard not to notice when you were all but moaning my name." I told him. His face got redder. I laughed, and shook my head. "I know I'm irresistible and all, but you need to learn to control yourself, Dimitri." I teased. He grabbed me and pulled me back into the bed, rolling on top of me. I growled. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I reached up and ran my hands through his hair. When he pulled away, he grinned.

"You are right about one thing… you are pretty irresistible." He murmured, his voice with that accent was enough to send me over the edge.

"I know, I know." I told him. He chuckled as he brought his mouth back to mine. He ran his hand over the bare skin on my stomach and my chest, causing goosebumps to rise. He pulled away from me, and smirked as he continued to run his hands over my body. I ran my hands down his body, and stopped at the string on his athletic shorts, when there was a knock at the door. I groaned and threw my head back.

"You've got to be kidding me." I muttered. He laughed.

"It happens. We'll continue this later." He promised, giving me a look that made me want to slam and lock my bedroom door and hold him prisoner here forever. He crawled off of me, allowing me to go to the door. I threw one last look at him before opening the door. When I opened it, Lissa smiled.

"Hey."

"Hey there." I said, trying to keep my cool.

"How are you guys?" She asked, as I opened my door wider to let her in.

"We're good." I told her, as Dimitri walked out of the bedroom. She smiled.

"Hey… I'm glad to see you awake. Every time someone came back to the throne room, they'd told me he was still out." She said.

"I was wondering if he was ever going to wake up too." I told her, as he walked over to us.

"I just needed to rest, that's all." He promised. She smiled.

"We knew you were strong enough to pull through it. I'm sorry I didn't come by. Tatiana was killing me. She had me adding up all the guardians lost. It took everything I had not to throw the book at her and cry." I nodded.

"There was a lot?"

"Between both days, there were sixty." She told me. I frowned. I was just glad Eddie, Dimitri, or myself wasn't added to that list.

"What about Moroi? Any of those killed?"

"Nope. A few had minor injuries, and such, but nothing too bad, nothing they couldn't recover from." She explained. I nodded. Atleast we had that much. "So, Christian and I are going out for dinner tonight. Would you guys like to join us?" I looked at Dimitri and I know his mind was in the same place mine was.

"Of course, we'd love too." He answered.

"Great… We'll meet you in the lobby at eight." She told us. We nodded. She hugged Dimitri and I before disappearing. The moment the door was closed and locked, I turned to him and glared.

"Really?" I demanded. He smiled innocently.

"What?"

"We'll finish this later, and then you tell her we'll go to dinner with them? What the hell is that? You get my hopes up and then stomp on them right in front of me." He laughed, causing me to smile.

"You wanna know why I agreed to that tonight?" He asked me. All I knew was that his reason better be damn good.

"Why?" I demanded, stomping me foot. He chuckled.

"Because I didn't plan on waiting till tonight." He ran to me, and swept me up into his arms, carrying me back into the bedroom and kicking the door closed behind him. He laid me down on the bed, crawling back over me.

"Good point." I told him, bringing his mouth to mine. When he pulled away, he met my eyes and chuckled.

"I thought you might think so." He murmured, before bringing his mouth back to mine. I ran my hands back down his chest to the tie on his shorts, and pulled the string. When he freed my mouth of his own to trail kisses down my neck and collar bone, I giggled.

"Now, where were we?" I teased.

"Ooh. I remember." He said. I maneuvered his athletic shorts down, and tossed them onto the floor. He pulled me up into a sitting position, and pulled my sports bra off, tossing it with his shorts on the floor. He let his hands roam down my body, exploring it like it was the first time he'd ever seen me undressed. That was the one good thing about Dimitri and my love life… he treated every time as if it was our first, like it was some new experience to him. I sighed as he pressed kisses from my belly button all the way up my body, finally working his way back to my lips. He gently bit my upper lip, being a tease like he so after did. I growled at him, causing him to smile against my lips. I ran my hands down his chest and sides to the waistband of his boxer. I slid a finger inside and maneuvered them down slightly. I had to stop, getting too caught up in our kisses to finish the task. He obviously sensed that, and finished the job, throwing them off the bed as well. I maneuvered my shorts off, leaving him undressed and me in nothing but lace panties. It wasn't long before he got fed up with me not being undressed, and took care of those. This time, it didn't move quickly. We reveled in just being in each other's arms, being pressed skin to skin with him was the most beautiful thing in the world. We weren't in any rush for this to be over, so we took our time, exploring plains of each other's bodies that no one else knew existed. The feel of his finger tips on my skin left sparks in their paths as the maneuvered down my body. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I needed him. He pressed into me, and once again, no one would have been able to tell where he ended, and I began. Each brushing of finger tips, each whisper in each other's ear, it conveyed nothing but love. It was the most beautiful experience I'd ever had. We'd had sex, yeah, and the first time it happened, I'd thought that was the real definition of love making, but no… I'd been wrong. This was love making. He didn't take it fast, or too slow, and each movement of our bodies was magical, and took me to a high not even strigoi endorphins could reach. It was in moments like this that I knew that there wasn't anyone else out there in this world that could do to me what he did. There wasn't anyone in this world that could make me feel the way he did. I could never be with anyone else, because when I imagined someone whispering dirty things in my ear, he always had a deep Russian accent, that one no one could ever imitate. When it was over, regardless of how slow it had gone, my body was tired. I laid in his arms, both of our bodies covered in sweat. He pressed a kiss to my forehead and smiled.

"I love you, Roza."

"I know." I murmured. I looked up to meet his beautiful chocolate brown eyes, and smiled. "I love you too… so much." I laid my head back on his chest, and listened to his heart beat as my body came down from its ultimate high. I didn't know if my body would ever stop humming from what I'd just experienced. He looked at the clock, and smiled.

"We should probably shower, so we can be ready to meet Lissa and Christian."

"Do we have too?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Yes, Roza." He told me. I smiled and got up, grabbing a change of clothes. He grabbed one too as we both got into the shower. It was hard to concentrate on actually taking a shower when my body was still having a hard time focusing on anything else other than him. I think he sensed it too, and he loved it. It was probably the most distracted shower I'd ever taken. When we got out, I made him leave the bathroom, so I could focus on getting dressed. He found humor in how hard it was too concentrated when he was naked around me. I got dressed and did my make-up and hair before heading into the bedroom. He was pulling his shirt on as I walked into the room. I smiled at him.

"You look beautiful."

"Don't I always?" I teased.

"Of course." He said. I smirked. I reached up on my tip toes to kiss him before walking into the living room. I opened the closet and grabbed a pair of heels out of it, before sitting down in one of the bar stools. A few minutes later, he walked out, smiling at me. I knew this was going to be one hell of a dinner trying to concentrate. "You okay?" He asked.

"Perfect." I assured him. He nodded and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist, and placing his mouth by my ear.

"Me too." He muttered all too seductively. I growled.

"You don't play fair." I snapped.

"I know. It's fun though." I rolled my eyes.

"We should go now."

"But we'll be ten minutes early." He complained.

"If we don't go now, we won't be going at all." I said, giving him a look. He chuckled.

"Okay." He said. We walked out and down to the lobby, hand in hand. When they showed up, we went out to a van, and headed to whatever restaurant Christian was taking Lissa too. When we got to the restaurant, Christian ordered a bottle of wine, and we all ordered our food. Dimitri and Christian spoke about… guy stuff as Lissa and I carried on conversations about all the stuff the queen had her doing, and how much of a royal bitch she was… figuratively and literally. When I voiced this opinion, it had everyone laughing. We actually had a genuinely good time, not that I expected anything less. One time I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I came back, Christian and Lissa were looking at me funny.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Nothing, just admiring your beauty." Christian said.

"I call bullshit." I told him. He chuckled. I rolled my eyes at him. We paid the check, and headed back to the van. Something was going on, and I hated being out of the loop. It was annoying, not knowing something everyone else did. I searched Lissa's head, but I think she knew I'd resort to that, because she was blocking me, and doing a very good job. _Bitch. _When we got back to court, Dimitri and I hugged Lissa and Christian and thanked them for the invite. Lissa smiled at me.

"I'll talk to you later." She said. I just nodded. Dimitri took my hand as we headed back to our room, but instead of going back to our room, he took a detour to the back deck. When he shut the door behind us, I gave him a look.

"Alright, I don't know what's going on, but I want to know. Why are Lissa and Christian acting weird?" I demanded. He chuckled.

"Because they suck at keeping their cool under pressure." He explained. I raised an eyebrow.

"Why were they under pressure?" I asked. He chuckled. "You know I hate being out of the loop, and surprises, so just tell me." I said. He reached into his pocket, and was very obviously toying around with something in there. He was being a tease.

"You're quite adorable when you're squirming." He said. I growled.

"Don't make me take you down. I will." I threatened.

"I love you, Roza."

"Dimitri… you're killing me." I said. He smirked.

"Fine." He pulled a small black box out of his pocket, and my heart stopped. He chuckled at my expression. He dropped down onto one knee and looked up at me. Tears were threatening to escape, but I blinked them back. "Roza, I love you. I've loved you since the moment I met you on that street. I never knew you'd impact my life the way you have, but I wouldn't take it back for anything in the world. We've been through so much together, some of it has been great, and some of it not so great… But you traveled to the end of the world and back to save my life, and you've done it time and time again. I would do the same for you. I know that if we can get through me being a part of the undead, and going through my 'I can't love anyone' phase, that we can conquer anything. I promise to love you every single moment that I'm walking on this earth. Would you do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my wife?" I stared at him like I was some kind mental patient. I couldn't help the stray tears that fought their way from my eyes. I met his gaze, and nodded.

"Yes!" I murmured. He smiled and put the ring on my finger, before picking me up and spinning me around.

"I was scared you were going to say no."

"After this afternoon, how the hell did you expect me to say no?" I asked him, looking down at the beautiful diamond ring he'd just placed on my finger. He chuckled.

"I knew I told you how much I loved you all the time, but I figured it was about time I really showed you." He said, his face turning a slight shade of pink. I grinned, and reached up on my tip toes to kiss him.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"For what?"

"For being you, for being a part of my life, for loving me." I said. He smirked.

"It's hardly a job and even if it was…. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world." I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck pressing my lips to his. There on that deck, in the moonlight, I'd given my word to him that I'd always be his and no one else's. In that moment, I knew for a fact that love never walked away, that people do, and if it was really love to begin with… they'll always find their way back.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Alright guys, that's it. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I love working with Dimitri and Rose as characters, because they're both amazing. I thought about going on and writing their wedding and honeymoon and everything, but I felt I sort of already did that stuff with them on Secrets, Love, & Lies, and I didn't want it to be the same, because I really don't know how I would do it where it wouldn't be the same thing over again, so I'm stopping here. I might do an epilogue a little ways down the road, but we'll see. Depends on how I feel. Don't forget to review, and check back to my page to look out for my next story. **

**-April. **


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